Cha-Cha-Ching

Here we have C, lover of stuffed animals, Gwen Stefani's "Hollaback Girl," hooker makeup (thus the bright blue eyeshadow), television, ham sandwiches with ketchup, "Bohemian Rhapsody," and American Idol. C also has no, count 'em, NO fashion sense, difficulty remembering to shampoo, a very bad habit of farting in public places, and a great need for orthodontia.
Neither B nor I needed braces, so when C had her first appointment with Dr. T to apply brackets and bands, B listened closely and took notes. You would think he was being quizzed or something. We non-braces people learned that all things good are forbidden when wearing braces. Especially braces that set your parents back $7400. Apparently B thought C was listening as closely as he was. He was wrong.
Here's the scene:

1. B & C arrive and are shuttled into an assembly line of chairs at 8:00 am.
2. By 8:30 am, the purple and pink (remember I said NO fashion sense) first set of braces are applied and the note-taking lecture ensued
3. At 8:35 am B signs an ironclad contract agreeing to pay big bucks for this kid's mouth.
4. At 8:36 am B writes a check for $550, the first of many, many to come.
5. C arrives at school, braces shining by 9:00 am
6. B arrives at work by 9:25 am.
7. At approximately 11:02 am B receives a phone call from C's mother informing him that C ate Nerds at break, popped a bracket, and is hysterically crying in the nurse's office at school.
8. 4:00 pm B & C are shuttled into an assembly line of chairs for the second time in one day.
9. By 4:10 pm the bracket is repaired, the second lecture has taken place, and C appears remorseful and attentive.
10. Finally, at 6:30 pm B gets a phone call from C saying, "Dad, I ate soup for dinner."

See what I mean?