Saturday, March 31, 2007
1. Can you cook? Yes, which is a large part of my weight problem. My specialities are ribs, pulled pork BBQ, macaroni and cheese, mashed potatoes, and a mean pot of chicken chili stoup.
2. What was your dream growing up? To be famous. I would (and continue to) fantasize about walking the red carpet with a really sexy guy (lately it's been James Spader - shut up!) in a rad black dress.
3. What talent do you wish you had? Taking a good photograph either as the photographer or as the subject. I would love to be able to take creative photos with accurate lighting and neat content. As the subject, I would like to not look like I was smelling something, which is what I look like in most pictures of me.
4. Favorite place? In my bed with fresh sheets, my head in B's lap, a big glass of ice water, and the remote control.
5. Favorite vegetable? Brussels Sprouts. Yum.
6. The last book you read? I have read 2 over the last week. Speak No Evil by Allison Brennen, #2 in a trilogy. It was somewhat disappointing. She's done better. I also read Lover Revealed by J. R. Ward, #4 in the Black Dagger Brotherhood series. Very, very good. Can't put down good. Oh how I love me some vampires.
7. What zodiac sign are you? Leo
8. Any Tattoos and /or Piercings? No tattoos, and just the 1980s requisite 2 ear piercings. I rarely wear earrings, but will occasionally poke some through all 4 holes to make sure I still have the option of wearing 2 pairs at the same time.
9. Worst Habit? I have many. The two that happen the most now are: Interrupting and biting my cuticles.
10. Do we know each other outside of this blog? I got this from Krista whom I've not had the pleasure of hanging with, but know that I will someday. She's the bomb, yo.
11. What is your favorite sport? To play? None. To watch? I am not a sports fan. I will watch soccer and men's swimming. I will also watch basketball, which you will read about when I post about my recent trip to San Antonio.
12. Negative or Optimistic attitude? Dude, when it comes to self matters, I am so negative. I am a "glass if full of poison" girl. However, I try to be optimistic with my friends and family. Stiff upper lip and all.
13. What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator? Go through my purse. Balance my checkbook. File my nails. Write a grocery list. Sing.
14. Worst thing to ever happen to you? I've had bad things happen. I've been in a bank robbery, 14 car accidents, had surgery complications and almost lost my right breast, had a too-close-for-comfort situation with a murderer (I will blog about this), and recently lost 3 dogs and 3 family members in the last 3 years. I have bad ju-ju, man. So far though, nothing has been worse than going through the pain of infertility and getting my ass dragged through the slowest adoption ever.
15. Tell me a weird fact about you: Oh where to begin? I have to either have my butt rubbed or rub my own butt every night as I am going to sleep. I love Mexican/Spanish food but will die of starvation before I'll eat guacamole. I cannot touch a cotton ball - the sensory overload is too much to handle. B and my friend Alicia really get off on torturing me about this by leaving little cotton balls on my chair. I hate whistling with a passion. Fingernails on a blackboard passion.
16. Do you have any pets? Yes, two cats - Darwin and Eliza.
17. Do you know how to do the Macarena? God no. I also refuse to learn the Electric Slide.
18. What time is it where you are now? 11:10 am
19. Do you think clowns are cute or scary? Clowns scare the shit out of me. I had a boyfriend in college who wanted to be a clown. He would drag me to the circus every time they came to town. He would totally dress up in clown gear, get his face painted, and act like an idiot. What a dork.
20. If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be? I would lose weight. Duh.
21. What color eyes do you have? Green
22. Ever been arrested? No
23. Bottle or Draft? Ice cold bottle. I am not a beer drinker, so I really don't care.
24. If you won $10,000 dollars today, what would you do with it? Pay off my car, then stick the payment amount in savings.
25. What kind of bubble gum do you prefer to chew? Hubba Bubba bubble gum. I especially like Original and Grape/Berry. I chew lots of Hubba Bubba when I drive, and I blow huge bubbles popping it the whole time.
26. Which is your favorite bar to hang at? Get real. That would cut into my TV time.
27. Do you believe in ghosts? Hell yeah, and they scare the pee out of me.
28. Favorite thing to do in your spare time? Duh - watch TV! I also read trashy books (see #6).
29. Do you swear a lot? Umm, yes.
30. What is your favorite swear word? Goddamn.
31. Biggest pet peeve? People who bring their children to Rated R movies.
32. In one word, how would you describe yourself? Driven
Saturday, March 24, 2007
Darwin is our 7 year old, 15 pound beast, who frequently stalks, attacks, and kills my rolled socks, beats down his sister Eliza, and very loudly lets me know when it is time for his nightly snack. He is a total drag queen who grooms so much that brushing his 3-4 inch fur is not an option; even the bottoms of his paws are snowy white. In B's mind his voice sounds very much like Eddie Izzard's - a British accent with a little girlie squee thrown in just to make you wonder.
He proved his queenliness last night.
Around 11:00 I wandered down to the kitchen to refresh my monster glass of ice water that must be by my bedside every. single. night. I flipped the light switch, and right by my left foot was this huge water bug. That sucker was at least as long as my pinkie finger. Holy shit! My first thought was to pick it up with a paper towel and squish it, but it was just to big. I knew that the guts would go everywhere, and they really stink when you kill them. They crunch. So I decided to let the cats out to let them chase it and kill it. Survival of the fittest and all.
After about a minute of calling and cooing, Darwin came sauntering up the basement steps. He plopped down in the doorway and looked at me. I swear if that cat had eyebrows, one would have been raised. I pointed to the water bug and told him to go kill it.
He didn't move.
I then picked him up, placed him in front of the water bug, and said, "Kill it."
He laid down on the bug, who managed to wriggle out and run right in Darwin's line of vision and escaped into the dark underbelly of the dining room table. A place a bug and myself will never rendevouz.
I then said, "Darwin, what the hell? Go kill the goddamn bug!" and pointed to the dining room. I think I even stomped my foot a little.
Darwin slowly got up, sashayed across the kitchen, looked back at me once with a "get bent" stare, and promptly went down the basement steps to bed.
Lazy, spoiled ass cat.
*I have no idea where that bug is, but I am calling the Orkin man on Monday.
Thursday, March 15, 2007
America's Next Top Model - This is the first season I have watched from the beginning and I am way into this train wreck. These women are crazy, and I am not talking a "Gosh, she's so crazy!" No, I am talking certifiable crazy. Especially the Russian mail-order bride, Natasha. Whoa.
So my questions -
1. What's up with Tyra overacting more than usual? That whole stepping thing in the premiere and then last night with the make-over drama. I thought her flamenco dancing last season was embarrassing, but Damn! Tyra! Take it down a notch. We get it, you are ghetto fabulous.
2. Is it me, or are some of these women cognitively delayed? Now, I am not saying models are stupid or have mental retardation, but I am questioning the cognitive abilities of Jael, Diane, and Jaslene.
3. Is Rachel a raging bitch, or what?
American Idol - I am so disappointed this season. I am having trouble mustering the will to watch. So far, I am rooting for Lakisha. She's got the pipes and she's genuine. So, I have some questions, and perhaps some of you can answer them:
1. How many of you are tired of Melinda and her "aw shucks, y'all" bullshit. I'm sorry, but I am so not buying it. How can anyone sing that well, have a decent career as a back-up singer, and be that freaking confident not have an inkling of her talent? Please.
2. What's up with Krista's boyfriend Chris and the head shaking? I get a little queasy if I watch for too long.
3. Is it me, or does anyone else get totally grossed out by Gina's nasty tongue piercing and grody white coated tongue? The woman worked in a dentist's office for Christ's sake! She should know the damage a tongue stud can do to her veneers and she should know how to "brush" her tongue. EW.
4. Sunjaya - WTF?
5. Okay, how many of you think that Phil looks like Bat Boy?
The Riches - No questions, just some thoughts. I don't know how much I am going to like this show, which is about this family of grifters that steals the identities of a man and wife they run off the road with their RV and inadvertently kill. The man and woman's name was Rich, and they were on their way to their newly Internet purchased home in Florida. Meh. Right? Perhaps, but this show features Eddie Izzard as the main character, and Oh. My. God. I love Eddie Izzard with every fiber of my being. I don't know what it is. He's not attractive in a conventional way and he's a transvestite who wears more make-up than me (not that being a transvestite is a bad thing, I just want to be the pretty one in my relationships), but I think he's dead sexy. I have probably seen Dress to Kill 10 times. He's hilarious in a cerebral, acerbic way and I *heart* him very much; therefore, I am watching this show whether I like it or not. I'll keep you posted.
Grey's Anatomy - Okay, last night really pissed me off. What the hell is Shonda thinking?
1. I love Callie, and think she's pretty awesome because she puts up with George's bullshit, especially his snarky friends. So predictable to have him and Izzie drunk then wake up together. Whatever. I guess now we are going to have to deal with the fallout in the typical predictable fashion. Yawn. The whole,"Did we have sex? I was so drunk I can't remember!" crap is so overdone. Didn't this just happen on Desperate Housewives with Gabby and the weird guy? Raise your hand if you think Izzie is a selfish bitch and needs slapped every single time she opens her stupid mouth.
2. Am I the only one who thinks that the only good plot lately is Alex and Jane Doe? He just gets better every week.
3. As soon as the Old Soap Opera guy grabbed Christina's ass, B (who rarely watches this show) said, "Whoa! She's a surgeon whore; a succubus. I see this all the time, once she learns everything from them she moves on to the next, more powerful doctor." Now, B works with residents and interns daily, but still. Can we all say Predictable?
Okay. I'm done. Talk amongst yourselves. Let the rant begin.