Saturday, September 29, 2007

Why I Suck

Here's why I suck...

~I've been a little blue lately. This past week was our 15 month LID aniversary. I keep trying to tell myself that 15 is the halfway point, but it just seems like an endless stretch. The only really good news is that the Review Room is on a roll and has approved up through August DTC. With June, July, and August going through review in around 2 months, I am hoping that referrals start to encompass many more days.

~ Well, obviously the blog has not been updated with any relevant information in months.

~ It took me 2 months to mail out Secret Pal gifts. For one Secret Pal, the exchange had ended Aug 1. Yeah, I mailed it last Thursday.

~I also haven't thanked my SP for my latest gift - a book about mom being great, a drum, a rattle toy, and some pretend rattle keys. If you're reading SP, I think you're the bomb, and thanks for all of the goodies.

~ I can't find my camera cord to download any pictures of my SP gifts. I also received an awesome gift from Shelba today, and would love to display the super cool Icky bib and the Rock Star Pediped shoes. Goddammit. I love them both by the way.

~ I have been crappy sick for 2 weeks. I am finishing my second antibiotic and finally feel a little better. At least I don't sound like Froggy from the Little Rascals anymore.

~ I believe I bought a lemon. I have had my new car since May 7th, and so far I have had a flat tire, two scratches, a leak in the air conditioning, and replaced an inside door panel. Monday we are dropping it off to have another door panel replaced. It's getting old, people.

~ My nephew told me that I am the "coolest aunt ever," and then proceeded to point out my forehead wrinkles. He said they were "really big."

~ I went to see this movie with my friend Caroline today, and I made it through the first hour before hot footing it to the bathroom to puke up my popcorn and coke. The cinematography and editing was sped up, choppy, and basically looked like B's grandpa, who had Parkinson's, made a home movie. My motion sickness hit like a wave and I was gone. I had puke on my shirt, face, and in my hair. No, that's not embarrassing. Smelling like vomit I not only had to slink into the theater to tell Caroline I was leaving, I had to slink through the lobby. It was great. I cried for 20 minutes in the car before driving home to shower and brush my teeth.

Okay that's enough whining.

Here's a funny story...

The other night we (B, C, and me) were having a nice dinner at Rio when this family comes in and sits down in the front of the dining room. The only reason I noticed them was because it was a family with 4 boys.

As we were leaving B said, "Hey look whose here!"

C walked up behind the oldest boy, smiled, and said "Hi."

The boy looked at her from head to toe, turned blood red, and said "Wow, you''ve changed."

C turned blood red and said, "Um, yeah."

Then they just stood there looking at each other and blushing. It took me a minute to realize that this was P, C's 'boyfriend' from her old school, which she left after second grade. The two of them hadn't seen each other for several years. B made small talk and I walked over to pay. I really didn't want C to see me cracking up at the middle school hormone surge.

A few minutes later, on our way to the car, C went on and on about seeing P; she was giddy with the gush/crush.

Finally she walked ahead of us and B turned to me and said. "What the hell was that? It was just so awkward!"

I started laughing and said, "The look on his face?"

B said, "Yeah, did he not recognize her?"

I said, "No honey, that was the 'Oh! You got your Boobies!' look."

Thursday, September 20, 2007


I know I've been out of it for a while, and the excuses keep racking up. The big picture is that when we returned from the beach, I basically hit the ground running and didn't stop until yesterday when my doctor gave me an antibiotic, an inhaler, and some serious narcotic cough syrup to knock out the bronchitis and sinus infection that is beating me down.

I have several prolific posts in draft - a love letter, a conversation, and another TV rant, but right now I just can't get my fingers and brain to work well enough to string together very coherent thoughts. Perhaps it's the hydrocodone....

So, for now, a MeMe lifted from The Boob. Thanks buddy!

1. The phone rings, who do you want it to be? Ed McMahon... No one. I hate to talk on the phone.

2. When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart? Depends. If someone is watching or if the cart return is close enough, I will. If I am feeling lazy or the weather is crappy, I will park it next to the car next to me.

3. In a social setting, are you more of a talker or a listener? Total talker. B says that I "hold court."

4. Do you take compliments well? Yes and no. I will accept a complement and say thank you, but it's usually followed up with something self-deprecating or a discounter like, "Oh, this? I got it at Target."

5. Do you play Sudoku? No. I love crossword puzzles, pencil pointers, and logic puzzles, but I hate sudoku.

6. If abandoned alone in the wilderness, would you survive? Reading this made me think of the Styx song Man in the Wilderness. I feel abandoned in this adoption process, and although I am surviving, I feel very alone. Literally stranded and surviving would be questionable; I might make it one night.

7. Do you like nipple rings? No.

8. Did you ever go to camp as a kid? Yes. I went to 4H camp for two consecutive summers. I loved going to camp! It felt like I was hundreds of miles away from my parents, when in reality I was only about 35.

9. What was your favorite game as a kid? My family and I were into board games like Life and Monopoly. I was also a Centipede freak and remember playing it at the Roller Rink Arcade. I would skate in, drop a few quarters, spin the roller ball, kick ass, and skate out. Good times.

10. Could you date someone with different religious beliefs than you? Yes. I dated a lapsed Mormon for a year. We had some pretty interesting conversations.

11. Do you like to pursue or be pursued? Being the aggressive female I am, I am definitely a pursuer. I pursued B and got him. In retrospect, anytime I was the pursued, the guy was usually a creep or a weirdo.

12. Do any songs make you cry? No, not really. If I do tear up, it's usually because the vocal is so pure and beautiful, as well as the circumstances surrounding the listening. The last time this happened was when my mom and I went to see Wicked. Being there with my mom and overwhelmingly excited to see the show was what made me emotional, not just the singing.

13. Are you continuing your education? Yes. Sometimes it seems like that's the only thing that defines me.

14. Do you know how to shoot a gun? No, and I don't want to learn.

15. If your house was on fire, what would be the first thing you grab? Besides my family? The cats and my purse.

16. Do you think more about the past, present or future? Sadly, the past. I tend to relive things in my mind and often think of alternative ways I could have handled myself or the situation. I reflect on my past mistakes and triumphs quite a bit. Perhaps too much.

17. Favorite children's book? Mrs. Piggle Wiggle by Betty MacDonald, illustrations by Hilary Knight.

18. What color are your eyes? Green.

19. How tall are you? Short. 5’6”

20. Have you ever taken pictures in a photo booth? Yes.

21. Where was the furthest place you traveled today? In my mind? China. In reality? The bathroom and back.

22. Do you like mustard? I love yellow mustard and will eat it on just about any meat.

23. Do you look like your mom or dad? I look like my dad in drag. However, I have many facets of my mom's personality that give me away as her daughter - the same spazziness, the same laugh, the same command-your-attention attitude.

24. How long does it take you in the shower? 15 minutes, sometimes less if I am in a hurry.

25. Can you do splits? No. I am pretty flexible for a big girl, but that's too flexible for me.

26. What movie do you want to see right now? 3:10 to Yuma

27. What did you do for New Year's? The same thing I do every year - sleep.

28. Do you think The Grudge was scary? Get real.

29. Do you own a camera phone? Technically no. My work owns the phone I use, but it does have a camera.

30. Was your mom a cheerleader? Yes, until it was discovered that she eloped with my dad. Once they found out she was married, they made her quit.

31. What's the last letter of your middle name? This may be a surprise, but it is not 'S.' It is 'H.'

32. How many hours of sleep do you get a night? On the average between 4-6. Last night I slept 12 - thank you hydrocodone.

33. Do you like care bears? No. I hate Care Bears, sappy characters like Strawberry Shortcake, and most Disney. I also hate dolls. So far, Ruby has 2 stuffed that we have purchased: This Gal and This Guy. As you can see, we're not into cute.

34. What do you buy at the movies? Tickets. Snacks depend on the theater. One of our local theaters has the best nachos. At the others, it's usually popcorn for B and C, and gummy bears or smarties for me.

35. Do you know how to play poker? No not really.

36. Do you wear your seat belt? Is it really an option?

37. What do you wear to sleep? Men's Hanes V-neck and panties.

38. Is your tongue pierced? No, that's nasty.

39. Do you like Liver and Onions? Thanks for making me throw up a little in my mouth.

40. Are you in love? Yes I am.

41. Do you like funny or serious people better? Both.

42. Ever been to L.A.? No, and I don't think I want to go to LA. I'd rather go to NY.

43. Do you steal or pay for your music downloads? I pay because B makes me.

44. Are you a gullible person? Not really. I can get a pretty good read on people.

45. Do you need a boyfriend/girlfriend to be happy? No. I am perfectly happy all by myself.

46. If you could have any job (assuming you have the skills) what would it be? I would like to review trashy books.

47. Are you easy to get along with? For the most part. I am a pretty dynamic person, so my intensity may drive some away (this is a nice way to say I am a spaz).

48. What is your favorite time of day? Early morning with my Darwin and coffee.

49. Would you rather sleep alone or with someone? Alone, which is why B and I have a gigantic bed. We sleep together, but apart.

50. Would you give up the one you love/care for the most to become immortal? No way. I would grieve too hard to be able to enjoy it. What's an everlasting life if B's not there to share it? We chose to grow old together.

51. What animal are you most like? An elephant. I am loyal, dedicated, nurturing, and like to take my time to process.

52. What kind of tea do you like the most? Constant Comment, iced; Earl Grey, hot.

53. Do you laugh at peoples' stupidity? Depends. Usually, yes. I am a terrible fun-maker, especially when it comes to bad fashion.

54. Do you feel guilty for doing so after you're done laughing? Only if the person turns out to have a disability. Otherwise, no. If they're dumb enough to sport that bad fashion, then they need to own it when someone makes fun.