Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Welcome Elizabeth W.

Blue Suede Beauties - FR: Caroline, Me, Karen. BR: Susan, Tracy, and Cindy - who finally got her girl!

Congratulations to Cindy and the boys on their referral of the newest addition to the family, Elizabeth!

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Waiting and Worrying

We are now waiting on our LID. To me, in my mind,this will be the final step that will confirm that we are going to get Ruby. I worry about being turned down. A lot. I want reassurance, I want a "done deal." I want to be able to register for baby gifts and buy pretty things and not get nauseated thinking I may have to return them, "Sorry, no baby."

At my annual exam last year, my GYN recommended an endometrial ablation. Ironically my virtual twin, Shannon, just went through this a few weeks ago. My GYN and I decided to wait until B and I returned from China. I distinctly remember saying, "We'll travel next year." That was a year ago. In March. Now, we are looking at least another year after we get our LID, which could be now or a month from now. I have decided to go ahead with the surgery. I can't wait another year for this. I know I can wait on Ruby, albeit not patiently, but I don't want to put this off for another year or more. I am at the point where I am either in PMS mode, bleeding, or recuperating from the endless period. They are lasting around 10 days now, and are debilitating.
The deal with endometrial ablation is sterility. Granted, B and I are as barren as they come, but this surgery will make it an in-your-face reality. My GYN will also perform a tubal ligation just to safeguard, you know, just in case pigs fly and people in Hell drink ice-water. I will be going in on the Friday before Thanksgiving, and will be taking that entire next week off. I decided November for reasons. 1) My job should be in a groove by then and I'll have a better sense of scheduling clients, 2) I really want Thanksgiving week off to hang out with my mom to cook and shop, and 3) We will know for sure by then if we are definitely going to China because we'll hopefully be 5 months LID. Hopefully.

Bottom line? I want to quit worrying. I want to enjoy shopping for my girl. I want to do all of those things that make me want to puke. I want my LID.

Monday, June 26, 2006

Quiet House

C and her brother went home today. The weekend was rough, B pulled his back on Saturday morning and it basically went downhill from there.

B and I learned quite a bit from this experience:

  1. Having a baby in the house can be a lot of fun. We laughed a lot.
  2. Having a baby in the house can be very stressful. We bickered a lot.
  3. Soy formula really stinks. That smell, like instant mashed potato flakes, permeates everything.
  4. Babies need to have their teeth brushed. You know, from the beginning, we have been on C like white on rice about this. Religiously. Don't ask me why we kept bailing on this poor kid. If he develops massive tooth decay, we're pleading the fifth and deleting this post.
  5. Sam's Choice wet wipes are crap. They smell awful, no sweet baby smell from these and they shred when wiping copious amounts of poo. We won't be purchasing this brand. Ever.
  6. Speaking of copious poo, I have a history of poo related issues. This weekend did not help me overcome them.
  7. B and I are very different types of parents; I stress and he sleeps. We have a lot of middle ground to find.
  8. We are both incredibly out of shape. We have a year (or more) to remedy this.

It was a good week, but I am happy to have my house back. Next we need to get to work on Ruby's nursery, we're going to need the space.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Shhh...We Don't Know Yet!

I just checked our Parent Access page on our agency's website. Guess what? We were DTC Monday June 19! We haven't received the official email yet, so keep it to yourself, 'kay?

Awesome Gifts

Ruby's first Ladybug book. Thanks Secret Pal!

Ducky T-shirt and "Quack Quack" from my bloggy pals! Ruby's gotta represent the Blue Suede Beauties!

Monday, June 19, 2006

Cutting Off My Nose

C's mom had her second thyroid surgery today. As of yesterday, we are keeping C and her 13 month baby brother, M while mom recuperates. It's looking like we are going to be the home base for these two for the next two weeks, maybe more. Unfortunately, C's mom doesn't get any support from family or M's father. She has to rely on friends to help her out. B and I debated the issue of keeping him (and being his guardian should something happen) for a long time. It's kind of strange, and many wouldn't understand, but we couldn't say no.

It's not always been easy being a stepmom. From the beginning, I have been hyper-aware of my place. I am not C's mom. Oh, more times than not I call her my "daughter," I don't love her any less, and I discipline regularly just like any parent would. Nevertheless, there have been too many times to count when C's mom would remind me of my place. Over the years, I have been told "no" to requests to take her places, not allowed to spend time with her one-on-one because she "needs to be with a parent," denied access to school activities or parent-teacher conferences, had new clothes returned or destroyed, and received parenting and nutrition magazine subscriptions as gifts so I can "learn and understand" what it's like to be a conscientious parent. No I am not exaggerating. But honestly, I wasn't at all surprised when she asked if we would adopt M if she dies of cancer. Why? Because despite all of her spite, I love her daughter. I always have and I always will. No, I am not the "better" person, and I am positive our animosity toward each other is only on hiatus, I am just a person who will not hurt these children because their mother and I don't get along.

So far, my house looks like a bomb dropped, I have been spit-up on twice, endured a 2 am diaper change, I smell like soy formula and laughed till I cried more than once. It doesn't matter though, because if being with Ruby is half this much fun, we've got it made in the shade.

Saturday, June 17, 2006

Lost in Translation

As of June 15, we are currently in translation and almost ready to be DTC. I had to get an additional letter from my doctor telling CCAA that because I have hypertension I can still parent a child. This is letter #3. 3! Regardless, we were pushed back et another week and now we are just hoping to be DTC before July. AAARRRRGGGGG!

Friday, June 16, 2006

Bright Light City Gonna Set My Soul...

Oh, how to describe my recent trip to Memphis to meet some of my bloggy pals? It was a fantastic time. I would love to include pictures with my narrative, but blogger is not being cooperative. I downloaded some, but they are lost in space. I'll try again later, or maybe they'll just pop up. We'll see. Anyways...

Friday we drove all day. My friend Caroline went with me to offer moral support and conversation on the long way down and back. Caroline is quiet and unassuming and calls me on my shit when I'm being a spaz. The drive wasn't bad, just long. There's just not a lot to see on the Blue Grass Parkway. Ironically when we arrived, Traci was in the car in front of us, and Karen pulled up in a taxi right behind. We met up with Cindy, who'd arrived earlier, and all went to Bahama Breeze. It was wild to see these women that I felt like I knew, but really didn't know at all. We had a great dinner and went back to the hotel. Susan had arrived while we were out, but Caroline and I were so tired we just said hello and made plans to meet in the lobby the next morning.

Saturday, Karen, Susan, Caroline and I hit Graceland with a vengeance. After a breakfast at the secret I-Hop, we ran around like tourists snapping pictures, getting temporary tattoos and giggling like we were in high school. Caroline and I hit the car museum, while Susan and Karen admired the airplanes. We dashed back to the hotel, freshened up and met up with Susan and Traci to head to downtown Memphis. We had lunch and the waiter was a hoot. He called me "love" and was gracious enough to snap pictures with 5 different cameras. We started a trends and 2 other tables whipped out digitals and hit him up for some snaps.

We had reserved a carriage ride through the city and once we piled into the seats, I bailed. Too tight a squeeze, and 20-30 feet into the ride my butt was asleep. I jumped out and tooled around the air conditioned Peabody hotel while the rest of the ladies toured Memphis. I am sure Chester the carriage pony was appreciative, and I had a great time. I shopped and talked Pencil Pointer puzzles with a Russian storekeeper who was whizzing through one in his native language (v. v. cool, btw), watched a very young wedding party in very expensive attire swig Bud out of the bottle, and watched the Peabody Ducks do their evening parade to their private penthouse. All in all, my hour alone was really fun.

After the carriage ride, we shopped a little more, and the ladies all chipped in and bought Ruby a gift, which was really sweet. If blogger wasn't being a bitch, I would proudly share a picture of her ducky t-shirt and puffy "Quack, Quack" Little Golden Book. Soon, soon. Thanks again, pals.

We walked to Beale St. and ended up BB King's Blues Club. We listened to music, Karen and Susan were Ikettes, drank a blue cocktail called "Lucille" and finally ate BBQ. Cindy split to shop without 3 boys clinging and pleading for mercy, and the rest of us hung out and rested our dogs. After a while, Susan, Caroline and I walked the length of Beale St looking at the bars and shops. I was amazed to see children running around, but the most shocking sight was seeing a pregnant woman chugging an industrial sized beer. Nice. We looked into the grimy windows of Coyote Ugly and saw the bartenders dancing stripper-style on the long bar, and a skinny Elvis impersonator that was kind enough to let Susan snap his picture. Around 11:00 we caught a cab and headed back to the hotel. I sat up front because I get carsick and chatted with our driver, Gregory. On the way out of the taxi, he handed me his card saying, "Here's my card. Give me a call if you're ever back in Memphis or you get a divorce." Wow, I haven't been hit on in forever. Thanks, Gregory, for capping off a great day.

The next morning Caroline and I dropped Susan off at the airport and headed home. I was exhausted, but would do it again in a heartbeat. I met some wonderful women who gave me a little bit of hope during this bleak time of waiting for Ruby. What a bunch of great broads. We have to do this again.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

More on Memphis tomorrow

Man, photos + me + Blogspot = headache and hours of irritation.
It took over an hour just to get those pictures lined up.
I'll post about our awesome trip tomorrow. Yawn.

Takin' on the King

Self-portrait in Elvis' mirrored stairwell

Karen of Gwenblog (password protected) and my very quiet friend Caroline getting ready for a rocking day at the home of the King - Graceland!

Susan getting her "Burning Love" shimmer temporary tattoo by Sequoyia, a very sweet Graceland employee.

The final resting place of the King

Friday, June 02, 2006

I Hope No News is Good News

Well, everything has been submitted to CCAI for a week now. We are officially in critical review and translation. If all goes well, we should be DTC in the next 5 to 10 business days. That's all I'm saying because I don't want to jinx it.

Thursday, June 01, 2006

The Story of We

A few days ago one of our directors was discussing her daughter's wedding. It's planned for May 2007, and they have budgeted 25K for the whole shebang. Firstly, knowing this person, I wasn't surprised. Secondly, I thought, damn, that would pay for another adoption. Thirdly, the conversation got me thinking about my own wedding 7 years ago today.

B and I had only been together 11 months. We were living together, to the chagrin of both our parents. Memorial Day weekend, I was supposed to have surgery to determine what was making my period so crazy. The day before the surgery, Friday, I came down with tonsillitis which caused the doctor to cancel. That night, as we were getting ready for bed,B asked me what I was going to do with my time. My response, "Clean the house." His rebuttal? "Well, let's get married." I said okay, rolled over, and passed out in a medication-induced coma. Romantic, huh?

Because it was a holiday weekend, we had to wait until a Tuesday. We loaded C into the van and headed to Catlettsburg Kentucky to get married. Our parents followed us down and we the whole thing was complete by 12:30, because the minister had a root canal scheduled at 1:00. C was very excited and somewhat disillusioned as to why we were there, When we arrived, she asked me, "Where is she?" When I asked about whom she was talking, she said "Married? We're here to get Married!" To this day, this is one of her favorite "when you were little" stories.
We all had lunch and came home. B and I gave C a nap, took her to her mom, and went to see Star Wars: Episode I. I'll never forget sitting in that empty theatre running my thumb absently over his wedding band, thinking to myself that this is it, he's the one.

I still feel that way. We had a good day. I got the requisite flowers and gifts, and we also had dinner at Cafe Cimino, a lovely Italian restaurant owned and operated by our neighbor's father and stepmother. The food and atmosphere were romantic and delicious, respectively, but the best part was the drive up and back. For an hour each way - the pleasure of each other's company. Seven years, and we have yet to run out of things to say.