Back

So, we made it back Saturday from our week-long exile in West Virginia's #1 vacation spot - Myrtle Beach, SC. We were able to be on the ocean or at the pool every day, which is pretty awesome considering it's the beginning of hurricane season.

I won't bore you with the day-to-day itinerary, but will share some highlights:

• Fondue rocks, and we wish heartily we had a Melting Pot near home.
• Beach chairs are great when sitting in the surf watching the waves roll in.
• Sand in your crotch from said beach chair in the surf is not so great.
• Assholes who monopolize the pool, play horseshoes in over your stuff so that it's trampled into the sand, and are drunk (excluding the pregnant-but-I-still-wear-a-string-bikini-to-show-my-stretch marks-and-tramp stamp) by 11:00 am, do not make the best neighbors; we were grateful for the "quiet time" policy.
• Screened-in porches are the best place to watch nighttime thunderstorms over the ocean.
• My mama makes a mean shrimp boil with fresh shrimp, smoked sausage, onion, lemon, corn, new potatoes, and enough spice to slap your grandma. We licked our plates.
• I love having vacation with my parents now that we take separate cars to and from our destinations.
• C is a total chicken and we wasted 50 bucks on a Haunted Adventure attraction.
• Having no access to the Internet is both empowering and crippling at the same time.
• C is a terrible liar. She was caught red-handed (or should I say, 'red-gummed'?) in a super doozie about flossing the gunk out of her nasty-ass red, white and blue braces. This one took a bit of forethought and effort; thus resulting in the wrath of me, and the subsequent "Life is Hell" attitude she unleashed on everyone.
• Sand does bizarre things to your feet, and my pedicurist Jenny cussed me in English and in Vietnamese the entire time she repaired the damage to my soles and polish.