We are now waiting on our LID. To me, in my mind,this will be the final step that will confirm that we are going to get Ruby. I worry about being turned down. A lot. I want reassurance, I want a "done deal." I want to be able to register for baby gifts and buy pretty things and not get nauseated thinking I may have to return them, "Sorry, no baby."
At my annual exam last year, my GYN recommended an endometrial ablation. Ironically my virtual twin, Shannon, just went through this a few weeks ago. My GYN and I decided to wait until B and I returned from China. I distinctly remember saying, "We'll travel next year." That was a year ago. In March. Now, we are looking at least another year after we get our LID, which could be now or a month from now. I have decided to go ahead with the surgery. I can't wait another year for this. I know I can wait on Ruby, albeit not patiently, but I don't want to put this off for another year or more. I am at the point where I am either in PMS mode, bleeding, or recuperating from the endless period. They are lasting around 10 days now, and are debilitating.
The deal with endometrial ablation is sterility. Granted, B and I are as barren as they come, but this surgery will make it an in-your-face reality. My GYN will also perform a tubal ligation just to safeguard, you know, just in case pigs fly and people in Hell drink ice-water. I will be going in on the Friday before Thanksgiving, and will be taking that entire next week off. I decided November for reasons. 1) My job should be in a groove by then and I'll have a better sense of scheduling clients, 2) I really want Thanksgiving week off to hang out with my mom to cook and shop, and 3) We will know for sure by then if we are definitely going to China because we'll hopefully be 5 months LID. Hopefully.
Bottom line? I want to quit worrying. I want to enjoy shopping for my girl. I want to do all of those things that make me want to puke. I want my LID.
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3 comments:
Oh, I'm sorry about the endo problems and surgery. I know exactly how you feel. I'm having a hysterectomy in the next six months, and even though I know it is highly unlikely that we can become pregnant, there is something about the finality of the hysterectomy that makes me sad. Plus, I just hate having surgery. This will be my fourth. Blech.
So sorry to hear about your surgery but hopefully it will relieve some of your symptoms. Even though it would take a miracle for us to conceive, I can understand the finality that the surgery would bring.
The last line of your post "I want my LID" reminded me that I was about to write a song to the tune of Dire Straits "money for nothing/i want my MTV" when we finally got ours.
Thanks for all of the support. I love having bloggy pals who understand what I'm going through. It's hard to be the only one in my family and peer group going through this.
Michelle, it sounds like we'll be on the mend together. This'll be my fifth surgery, and hopefully my final. My doc has never had a patient require a hysterectomy following an ablation. Let's hope I'm not the first!
Karen, I hadn't thought of that song, but man is it appropriate. Thanks for making me laugh!
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