Thursday, May 18, 2006

Word of the Day - Antagonize

Well today we found out that C's mom definitely has thyroid cancer. She had surgery on Monday and was told she was cancer free. When she went to have her post-op check-up and have her drain removed, her doctor said, "We were wrong, you do have cancer." So it's a massive radiation treatment and a second surgery. Damn, that sucks.
C's bully situation has escalated over the past few weeks, and we can't wait for school to be out, just to get a break. The problem is, C just can't get it and she antagonizes this one boy and two girls who torture her. She gives as much as she gets. Where they are mean, hateful bullies, she is spazzy and annoying - on purpose. We've tried to work with her on calming down and recognizing that she's being a spaz/annoying/childish, but it's just not clicking. I don't even want to go into how she handled herself this week at After School Care. I won't go into the details; they're too painful for me to type and for you to read.
It's hard for B & me to see her struggle, but for very different reasons. B still sees her as an innocent, precious baby. I see it from a clinical perpective - anxiety inducing plummeting self-esteem that can scar teenage girls into making bad decisions. Before I began working in the field of MR/DD, I was a Family Preservation Specialist and worked with children exclusively for 6 years. I have seen the damage children can do to each other, especially girls her age. I can't separate from this situation the way I could then. This is my child. You can't imagine how thrilled I am that she has one more year of elementary school. The thought of her going to middle school at this maturity level makes me want to puke.

5 comments:

Elle said...

Wow! How scary... I hope all goes well.

I am sorry to hear about C. I know it is difficult. Unfortuntely, it gets worse in middle school. I feel for you, I really do. My C is in 7th grade. I am sure your C will mature some in the next year and may learn how to deal with it in an effective way.

After being picked on by 1 kid for an entire school year, We finally told C to kick his ASS! I didn't want him to start anything. But, I sure as hell wanted him to end it. It worked really well for us. Bullies are the biggest cowards.

Hope things get better!

Karen and Jon said...

So sorry for C's mom - and what a roller coaster - you are fine, no you have cancer?? Ugh. Here's to school being out soon!!
BTW - I just saw the post on the names and I LOVE the name Ruby. I really don't think it is too popular. I am in the same boat. Want something different, not too different. One of my niece's is named Ivy which I adore. She the fourth Ivy in four generations. I can't use it for obvious reasons but feel free if you want to consider it.

Debra Sue said...
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Debra Sue said...

Karen,
I love the name Ivy! I'll put it out there to see what B says.
Thanks for all the good thoughts about C (You too Shelli!) I am hoping it gets better. She's trying so hard - we all are. Keep your fingers crossed that the period comes soon and she mellows out from the hormone drop!
What kills me the most is the meanest girl is about a foot and a half shorter than C, and weighs about 60 pounds less! Shes intimidated by a shrimp! We are almost to the point of telling her to kick some ass, juston principle alone! Her mom would stroke out, but there's only so much she can take.
D

SunSticker said...

Debbie - when I was a teenage girl I swore I would name my firstborn daughter Ivy Orianna. Of course that never worked out, but think of how people in this area would butcher the name Ivy with their lovely accents... ;-)