Wasted Wishes

Whenever I hear someone say, "I wish..." Usually it is followed by something lame like, "...This copier would go faster," or "...My feet didn't hurt." If I hear them say it, I will reply, "Don't waste your wishes!" Well, I am pretty guilty of wasting my wishes too, so I've decided to just put my wishes out there. If any of them come true, you will be the first to know...

I Wish...
Ruby was with us now
My house would stay permanently clean
C was with us full-time
I only needed 4 hours of sleep a night like Martha Stewart
My brother had 100% of his hearing
I had pretty, shapely legs
My family will live forever, or at least outlive me
John Kerry was president
I had a digital camera and knew how to take cool pictures like Karen
I could tap dance
B would get a salary projection for his promotion
I had no periods. Period.
I had Oprah hair (and her moolah)
I could ride an elephant
We weren't at war
I could knit
My friend Lori could find her split-apart
I could eat as many Doritos, fried green tomatoes, and bacon sandwiches as I wanted without gaining weight
I could be on Broadway, preferably in a revised musical like Bye Bye Birdie or The Sound of Music
Somebody would put Baby in a corner
I had time to read a book for pleasure every day
I knew more about politics and world events
I could find beautiful shoes that were high, high, high and didn't hurt my feet
Nip/Tuck was on 3 nights a week
Sayid on Lost would cut his fingernails - Gross
Harry Potter was real and we could make mischief together at Hogwarts
I was finished with my doc program
I could see my friend Alicia more
There would be no disabilities or mental retardation, which would consequently put me out of a job
I could use the word "consequently" more often
I could win the lottery
Bono will see me in the audience on Oct 22, and pull me onstage to sing With or Without You with him
I could rap
Plaster walls wouldn't crack when a nail is driven into them
French-tip manicures would go out of style
Michael Vartan would still be on Alias, it's so not worth it without him
Television Without Pity would hire me
I had more wishes...

I am sure there are more, I'm just too wished out to think of them