Raise Your Hand if You're Sure

I am currently what could be deemed as a stinky person. There are many reasons a person may be stinky: exercise, bad day that effects the mood so you're mean to everyone, clothing mildewed in the wash, stepping in dog shit, eating too much garlic (Karen), etc...
Well, C and I, the ladies of the house, are having deodorant issues. Surprisingly, B smells great; he finally found the deodorant that works for him and he's the most olfactory pleasing of the bunch. C and I on the other hand are nasty, hormonal chicken soup smelling gals who just can't seem to get it right. We are both experiencing hormone issues that render our pits toxic areas that no brand of deodorant can seem to touch. Hers is much more excusable than mine - she's 9; it's to be expected! Me, on the other hand, must get it under control before I scare small animals into hiding.
Right now there are 4 different kinds of antiperspirant/deodorant sitting on my shelf: Dry Idea gel, Ban stick, Adidas stick, and Secret Olay platinum gel. None of which make it through a day of me sitting in an air-conditioned office where I read manual after manual and the only exertion I get is my trek to the bathroom or coffeepot. How can this be? What really pisses me off is the fact that I am not that sweaty. I don't like to sweat, I am very lazy, and I sit on my ass all day! I have a friend who has excessive sweat production and has even gone to the doctor because of it - she uses Secret and is fresh all day! We've discussed.
Nevertheless, I repeatedly ask my confidants - Caroline, Lori, and Angie if they can smell me because I can smell myself. The answer is always a resounding "NO!" It has gotten so bad at home, that B will randomly call out "You smell good" whenever I am doing anything that remotely resembles a nostril flare or the subtle " reaching-for-something-off-a-really-high-shelf-so-I-can-do-a-check" move. Just the other night I rolled over and woke up to B mumbling in his sleep, "you smell good." I realized then that I was laying on my back and had thrown my arm over my head.
My mother and my friend Angie, who are both in "The Change" are convinced it's residual hormone imbalance from Gonal-F shots back in November. I think 8 months is a long enough time to not have any lingering Gonal-F. Truthfully, I think they are convinced I am peri-menopausal and don't have the heart to tell me.
If anyone has any suggestions, please let me know. Otherwise I may become Howard Hughesish and be more self-conscious than I already am.