Back

So, we made it back Saturday from our week-long exile in West Virginia's #1 vacation spot - Myrtle Beach, SC. We were able to be on the ocean or at the pool every day, which is pretty awesome considering it's the beginning of hurricane season.

I won't bore you with the day-to-day itinerary, but will share some highlights:

• Fondue rocks, and we wish heartily we had a Melting Pot near home.
• Beach chairs are great when sitting in the surf watching the waves roll in.
• Sand in your crotch from said beach chair in the surf is not so great.
• Assholes who monopolize the pool, play horseshoes in over your stuff so that it's trampled into the sand, and are drunk (excluding the pregnant-but-I-still-wear-a-string-bikini-to-show-my-stretch marks-and-tramp stamp) by 11:00 am, do not make the best neighbors; we were grateful for the "quiet time" policy.
• Screened-in porches are the best place to watch nighttime thunderstorms over the ocean.
• My mama makes a mean shrimp boil with fresh shrimp, smoked sausage, onion, lemon, corn, new potatoes, and enough spice to slap your grandma. We licked our plates.
• I love having vacation with my parents now that we take separate cars to and from our destinations.
• C is a total chicken and we wasted 50 bucks on a Haunted Adventure attraction.
• Having no access to the Internet is both empowering and crippling at the same time.
• C is a terrible liar. She was caught red-handed (or should I say, 'red-gummed'?) in a super doozie about flossing the gunk out of her nasty-ass red, white and blue braces. This one took a bit of forethought and effort; thus resulting in the wrath of me, and the subsequent "Life is Hell" attitude she unleashed on everyone.
• Sand does bizarre things to your feet, and my pedicurist Jenny cussed me in English and in Vietnamese the entire time she repaired the damage to my soles and polish.

Sayonara Sweethearts...

~ 10 minutes until we pack the car

~ 9 months planning

~ 8 hours driving

~ 7 Sun & Fun-filled days

~ 6 Novels

~ 5 Beach Towels

~ 4 Pairs of shoes

~ 3 thick fashion magazines

~ 2 swimsuits

~ 1 Industrial strength spray sunscreen...

~See you on the flip side! We're off to the beach!~

Voila!

1. Yes it is true that I was recruited by the Marines when I was in high school. To the point where they tracked me down at home and then showed up at the school to meet me and a couple other students. Seriously. Even then, I was curvy and (at the time) was in a 36DD bra. Can you imagine me running at Boot Camp? The only running I did in high school was treading the boards of our local theater's stage. Obviously, they really didn't want me; I so did not enlist.

2. When I was 5, I was diagnosed with ADHD. My pediatrician wanted to medicate me, but my parents refused. I did not make my first A (outside of Drama and Choir classes) until I was in the 10th grade. I have learned to cope. As an adult I have developed my career around working with people who have mental illness or mental retardation. I think my childhood issues have had a direct effect on every aspect of my life - for the best.

3. I am so left-handed it's sick. I cannot drive a stick shift, knit, crochet, shuffle cards, or twirl a baton. So, if you haven't figured it out, this is the Stinkin' Lie!

4. Yes I have had some brushes with death..

a. I have been in 14 car accidents, 2 of which I had to be "assisted" from the vehicle by firefighters.

b. I was a bank teller in college and was robbed at gunpoint.

c. My college fiance's stepdad was re-habbing a house for us to live in when we were married. My fiancee lived there with a roommate, and the plan was that after we married he and I would live in the house for free, and my fiancee would manage the small apartment building across the driveway. My fiance's stepdad was a total slum lord and he would hire ex-cons on Work Release to do construction and maintenance around his rental properties. One guy was a known murderer. I knew this because he was my dad's best friend's step-brother, and when he killed and was jailed the first time, my family was freaked. I tried to tell my future FIL about him, but he didn't check him out. My fiancee and I had a huge fight over the whole situation, because he thought I was being reactionary and accusatory. I knew the truth! I refused to go to the house or stay there as long as that man was employed. About a month into the guy's employment he murdered a woman who lived in one of the apartments across the driveway. He stabbed her with my fiance's roommate's diving knife, planted my fiance's watch in the kitchen, and stole her jewelry, money, credit cards, and car. She was a social worker and knew him from where he was doing construction on our house. He went to her door and asked for her help. She trusted him and he killed her. To me, that's a little too close for comfort.

5. I am extremely ticklish and cannot stand for someone to touch the backs of my legs, especially on the backs of my knees. It's been like this for years. I don't know why, but I believe it's a visceral reaction to too much sensation. It's a total sensory overload, and as soon as someone touches me there, it automatically makes my stomach roll and I feel queasy. I will physically react by kicking out and gagging from the nausea. During my annual exam a couple of years ago, my GYN put his hand around my knee to check my reflexes and I almost took out his teeth. He doesn't check my reflexes anymore. I know. I am a freak.

Thanks for playing along!

I Ain't No Stinking Liar

So A&MG started this, and Connie and wzgirl have followed suit. Now, because I am such a MeMe 'ho, I have to participate.

Four of these fascinating facts are true, and one is not. What's your guess?

1. I was recruited by the Marines when I was in high school.

2. I was diagnosed with ADHD as a child, and it was predicted that I would not make it through high school.

3. I am ambidextrous.

4. I have had many too close for comfort brushes with death, but have managed to come out physically and emotionally unscathed.

5. If someone touches the backs of my knees, it makes me physically sick; I get nauseous and I gag.

So, which one of these is a big fat lie? You tell me!

36 Follow Up

So, I have no idea what caused my birthday post to come up as August 2nd, my birthday is the 3rd. Anyway, it's corrected.

Walternatives - you were not bleated or belated. I had my own damn date wrong! Whoops!

I guess I am just getting old.

Our dinner was great. Lots of good Italian food. Even though my entree was delish, the olive bread was probably my favorite part of the dinner. We had good fun, and it was hilarious watching Noah dive into a meatball as big as his fist.

C elated us with the good news that her mom finally allowed her to shave her legs! Progress, people, progress!

All in all it was a good birthday. Lots of good wishes and some pretty sweet loot. On the gift front:

~My parents and my brother/SIL went together and bought me a new set of cookware. My pots and pans were totally ghetto and desperately needed replaced.

~Caroline gave me some Fiesta, a planter in turquoise and a groovy devilled egg platter in red. She also gave me a very soft, comfy nightgown, which I am wearing right now.

~My pal Lori gave me a funny card and a gift card to one of our local bookstores, Taylor Books, which is right down the street from our office. I think I am going to buy this.

~Finally, my sweet boy, B surprised me with this. It is glorious.

36

Today's my birthday. Huzzah! I love, love, love my birthday. Tonight the family, a few friends, and I are celebrating at Sohos, an lovely Italian restaurant located in our city's Farmer's Market. The city rehabbed an old train station to create the inside shops of Farmer's Market, and it's really quite lovely. I am so excited!


Here are 36 things about me:

1. My birthday is my favorite day of the year.

2. B & I knew each other 11 months before we eloped; I knew I would marry him on our first date.

3. B is my best friend - He lets me be the boss.

4. I am a doctoral student, and I am extremely competitive about grades.

5. I am a pretty good singer, and I sing very loudly in my car. My car is my stage.

6. I am a child of the 1980s and love 80s music.

7. I am hoping to change my career.

8. We are adopting from China - duh.

9. I have met wonderful people through the Internet, and I love my Tiara Girls posse: Shanny, Shannon and Susan; they are the best bloggy buds.

10. Television is my crack.

11. I think the best book ever written is To Kill a Mockingbird even though thinking that makes me cliched and pretentious.

12. I have had surgery every three years or so since 1996. In 2003, I had a breast reduction and because of complications, I almost lost my right breast. I have terrible scarring where the sutures busted open because my breast abscessed. Twice.

13. I will not drink milk. I think it tastes like blood.

14. I do not like chocolate. I know this makes me weird.

15. I have an unnatural obsession with celebrity gossip, especially reading about them in magazines and on the Internet. I often talk about them like they are personal friends.

16. Coffee is my favorite drink. Hot with non-dairy creamer. No sugar.

17. I could eat chips and salsa from our local Mexican restaurant at least 5 times a week and never get tired of it.

18. I am crazy in love with my nieces and nephews. They are the best kids in the world.

19. My hands often look like they've been mauled by a dog. I never use lotion because I hate the way it feels, and I bite my cuticles too much. I do not bite my nails, but I keep them cut very short because I type for hours every day.

20. Sometimes I feel like I was never meant to be a parent.

21. I finished the latest Harry Potter and was happy to see the series end. It was time.

22. I think about my or someone in my family's death every day. This does not mean I am suicidal or wish them dead. I just think about what it will be like. It stresses me out.

23. I am a worrier (if you haven't figured it out by now).

24. While on vacation about 15 years ago with a friend, I met and was smitten by a sailor from Australia. He was an incredible amount of fun, and occasionally I wonder how he's doing over on the other side of the world.

25. All of my ex-boyfriends moved out of state after we broke up. Only one moved back. I wonder what that says about me?

26. We are taking our first family vacation in 4 years (that's longer than a weekend) later this month. I think about it every day.

27. I listen to audio books in the car and when I am cleaning house.

28. I am a total procrastinator and put all things off until the last minute. I plan, write, scheme, etc... a million times in my head before anything ever comes to fruition.

29. I am flatulaphobic. Please don't ever fart in my presence. I will leave immediately.

30. I want a bigger diamond. I am not sentimental about my engagement ring, and would like to see it grow as my marriage grows. I am ready to trade up.

31. B and I planned on taking an Alaskan cruise in 2009 for our 10th anniversary and to celebrate my completion of my doctorate. I think we'll be in China.

32. I am addicted to salt, even though it makes my entire body fill up like a sponge.

33. I am not loving my new car. I wish I did, it's much nicer than my old one.

34. I only shave my legs 1x a week. I have little to no body hair, but I have very thick hair on my head. Weird.

35. I can't stand the smell of vanilla it triggers migraines.

36. I have to work on my birthday, so I am off...