Quite often I have these weird third-person-like conversations with myself. Self-talk can be very encouraging or damaging. Most of mine consists of questions and answers that usually all end the same way. A sample...
Question (Q): Why is it that doctor's feel the need to be condescending?
Answer (A): Because you're an educated person and have enough sense to know that your doctor is being an asshole. You need to find a doctor you respect and right now, the only one is your GYN. Ask him to refer you to a less assholish doctor and you will be okay. Quit stressing over the fact that you have fired 3 doctors in the last year and a half and get a grip. *
Q: What's up with the nastiness on the WW message boards? You joined this program why?
A: You joined WW Online because you travel all the time; therefore the convenience of tracking online far exceeds any other negative factor that may be involved. You need to lose weight and this diet works for you. So far you are exercising every other day, have lost some weight, joined a better, more supportive fitness group, and physically feel better. It's a good thing, so get a grip!**
Q: How excited are you that B finally got a promotion and will be getting a significant pay increase?
A: Shitting myself excited. I am very, very proud of B, he's worked so hard for this promotion. We can pay off medical debt accumulated from infertility treatments that were not covered by insurance, get rid of our nasty aluminium siding and get vinyl, and create a budget that will allow me to eventually take a lower paying job that has less travel so I can be home with Ruby every. single. night! It's all good change, so you need to get a grip and take one thing at a time.
Q: Why haven't you been blogging?
A: I am lazy? I am busy with school and work? I just don't want to! Cant you tell I am still freaked out and nervous about the CCAI regs, even though we should be okay? I need to just get a grip and get over myself.
As you can see I spend a lot of time trying to stop my obsessing.
*Yes, I fired another doctor. I am beginning to see that a big part of the problem is me. I have a difficult personality that makes it hard for someone with a God Complex to accept. I question. Often. I believe I am getting a reputation for being a bad patient, and that's okay with me.
**I have been doing WW for 2 weeks, and I feel really good about it. For the first time, I want to stick with the plan. I am walking on my treadmill 4-5X a week and every time I do, I feel awesome. I may be singing a different tune in a few weeks, but we'll see. If I do, don't give me any shit.
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8 comments:
I fire doctors, too. I have to feel a hundred percent comfortable or I find excuses not to go even when I really need to. So I completely get that!
Now, now...us medical people are not all evil. Thank you for noting that the gyn group can be a good one ;0)
Seriously, I love it when people have good questions...questions that even challenge me. What I detest are people who say 'I diagnosed myself on the internet and you and your lab tests are wrong'If a patient wants to be nearly combative from the outset why are they even there? OK...done with my rant ;0)
I'm doing WW online too. I decided to take it back up because I am being a lazy ass in the running dept. Ah well, it is working and is the program I recommend for my patients. I never look at the boards though...are they snotballs?
I won't give anyone any shit over a treadmill. I admire anyone who can do it. I can't tolerate a treadmill for 5 minutes before I'm freaking out. I have to be ourside....freezing, dark, whatever.
I've never fired a doctor. I'm the one who knows he's full of shit but feel "guilty" when I disagree with what they say. I'm no MD but I know how my body functions.
WW is good...hang in there and if you need a bag of plain M&M's, they are 5 points. :)
Way to go B!! I'm stoked for all of you.
xxoxo
I totally fire doctors, and even recently, chastized one for not giving me insanely important info about what I needed to expect with a medical thing I went though. I also called the practice and told one of the other Dr's what happened, and he basically apologized and said it was their responsibility to inform me and they didn't.
And you'll also never hear any shit from me, either. I'm jealous that you've gotten on that beast (treadmill) more than I have... I'm just so lazy... I gotta change that). Oh, and I think I told you before, the WW *boards* SUCK.... total unsupportive beeyatches.
I love my doctor. My daughter loves her so much that she asks to go see her when we pass the office. She will not feel that way when we start the Twinrix vaccinations....
Love the WW!
Congratulations to B and You for the promotion!
promotions are a very good thing. congrats!
WW Online worked for me then I stopped, gained it all back (plus a few more). I'll be starting back on WW o/l and my treadmill in early Feb. I know what you mean about feeling good after treadmill time. Keep it up. Keep it off! Congrats on B's promotion!
Um....I don't mean to be pushy....well, yes I do....but I'm gonna need to see a new post soon.
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