No Parties at this House

Since it's so close to Halloween, I thought this pic was appropriate. Today we are 4 months LID. How are we celebrating, you wonder?

Well, B is at a business meeting, C is at her mom's house, and I am sitting in my bed surrounded by journal articles, Halls Honey Lemon with the medicine center, copious drugs and a book about curriculum adaptations for students with learning and behavior problems. Yep, I am sick and finishing a paper that's due tonight. Sore throat, nausea, cruddy chest and fever. God only knows what I am saying, cause I am feeling rough.

Back to the grind.

I Never Knew I Had a Twin

I saw this over at Mrs. Figby's and thought I would give it a try. I think she'll get a kick out of my match with David Hasselhoff. Hail to the Hoff! Go check it out and tell me, who do you look like?

Fat and Fashionable

So I was scanning some of my favorite blogs and came upon 2 different posts containing the words "leggings." Fortunately, over at buttercup it was a language issue. Leggings = tights. However, Karen addressed the real issue of the Great Legging Comback of 2006, which distresses me to no end. My problem really isn't that leggings are coming back. No, really, it isn't. Everything circles around again, and it's time for an 80's revival. No biggie.

My problem is with the women who choose to wear leggings. In my book, if you are over the age of 9, you should not own a pair of leggings. EVER. Nonetheless, many women decide that comfort overrules fashion. To take it a step further, overweight women choose comfort over fashion. Don't get me wrong, I am not criticizing the big girls - I am a big girl. A plus size woman. Voluptuous, Reubenesque, Zaftig, Fat, Curvy, and Healthy. I shop in the "Women's" section, I wear double digits, and buy the majority of my clothing at Lane Bryant. Do not flame me saying I hate fat people. I am fat and I am okay with it.

What I am not okay with is the fact that plus size women do not know how to dress to emphasize their shape or bodies. This makes me crazy. It drives me bonkers to see a curvy, beautiful woman in leggings, or even worse, a shapeless jumper and tights. No, no, no, no, no, no, no! Oh Mama Mia! Dressing like a little girl (child) does not make you look like a little woman (petite). Ironically enough if you check out Clinton's Fall Fashion Trends he advises about both of these horrible pieces of clothing. See? I am not the only one!

I know all about how hard it is to find clothes that fit. I also know how easy it is to fall into a rut of comfort and acceptance. The top 5 most common trends that I see in larger women's fashion are:

1. Wearing knit pants - leggings, sweatpants, and/or drawstring, tapered knits that cling to the butt and thighs. Often, cellulite on the butt and thighs is seen in a mesmirizing dimple pattern through the fabric.
2. Large, voluminous T-shirts/shirts that are tent-like and unflattering. These usually are worn with leggings or knit pants.
3. Jumpers worn with turtlenecks and tights. These hang in a tubular column from the shoulder, creating a silo effect.
4. Wearing too tight jeans and shirts. With this phenomenon, women get the rounded gut protruding over the low cut jeans. Also known as a Buddha belly. Further, the tight jeans create a "muffin top" on the back and sides. The muffin top is emphasized by the tight shirt, and you can see the strain of the shirt in the small of the back as it is stretched between the flesh pouring over the sides of the waist.
5. Droopy butt. A lovely effect that occurs on Apple shaped women who wear pants that fit in the waist but are too large in the hips and thighs. This is a lovely "full-diaper" effect.

This is a call to arms. If you are a voluptuous woman who commits these fashion crimes, Stop Now! Get help. Call a friend who will tell you the truth. Be fat and fashionable, starting now.

Lonely Reader

Need a little help over here. Being active in the role of A-parent of a Chinese daughter, I have agreed to participate in several Secret Pal exchanges. Actually only 2, but anyway, this month's theme for one exchange is children's books. Not Chinese Adoption children's books, but all-over-the-charts children's books. You would think this would be easy, being as I have a 10 year old who was 2 when I became her stepmom. No, sorry. Being just like her father, C hates to read. I know, I know. I punctures my soul like a bullet, because I read every single day and feel like my arm's been cut off if I don't have a stack of to-be-read books sitting on my table. When C was small we didn't have story time, we had singing time. I would sing to her every night before she would go to bed. Songs that eventually became part of a lullaby CD that still works, 8 years later. I am hopeful and a little determined that Ruby will be a reader. If she's not, I don't know what will happen to the lonely reader in my house.

I have several books in my collection that I love, but aren't age appropriate for the exchange. They are books I remember loving when I was a child - Eloise, Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle (all of them), The Little House on the Prairie collection, the Ramona Qumiby chronicles, all Judy Blumes, and several in the Anne of Green Gables series.

As you can see I am in a quandary. These won't work, not for the little ones. So tell me, what works for you? What have you purchased to get ready and make your little one love the written word?