The Best Part of Wakin' Up

Let me tell you about my lovely morning. Not only did my internal alarm clock start to sing "Good Morning to You" at 7:30 this morning, my full bladder began to sing melody along with the harmony of my sinuses begging for Benedryl. Making for a nice holiday, I-haven't-been-in-bed-later-than-6:30 am-for-a-week, weekend wake up call. Just to exacerbate the great, good morning vibes, I realized I was having "one of those dreams" about Gene Simmons of all people so I hauled my ass out of bed PDQ. Since it's Saturday and I don't have to rush around getting ready for the JOB, I decided to languish in my recliner that massages, drink some of my tasty mail-order coffee, and read a trashy book. I sleepily programmed my coffee maker for six man-sized cups (actually, it's a perfect amount to fill 2 Fiesta cappuccino mugs) and settled in with my book and blanket. After about 5 minutes I realize I don't hear the whirs and glurgs of my coffeemaker. I jump out of my cozy nest and lo and behold my coffeemaker is broken. NOOOOOOO! In memory I can see it all in Super Slow-Mo, it was so horrific.

Now I have been a coffee drinker since I was a wee one and if I do not have coffee within approximately one and one-half hours of waking I am intolerable, physically sick, and just damn evil. The last time I went without my requisite 2-3 cups in the A.M. was the day I had my breast reduction surgery which was October 29, 2003 (yes, I remember the date - big surgery, no coffee). Keep in mind I was having major surgery and received many, many drugs for the following week so lack of caffeine didn't really register. Actually, I think the only times in the last 20 years I didn't have my morning cuppa was prior to surgery. Basically 3 times in the last 20 years or so. So, you think I'm addicted?

Anyways, I very angrily stomp back upstairs to put clothes on to go buy take-out coffee. While dressing I look in the bathroom mirror and have the realization that I fell asleep in my makeup and I look sort of like this chick. Maybe it was subconscious because B & I went to see this flick last night and I loved it, but only because I love Jason Statham and he is now forever in my top five. But, I digress...

I wipe the goo off and make my way to the local Hardees, which surprisingly has some rockin' coffee, and proceed to get behind this very large man who has 5, count them, 5 separate orders. I swear to God if that man hadn't outweighed me by at least 100 pounds I would have probably physically hurt him. That and the fact that I probably wouldn't have gotten any coffee in jail are the two reasons I didn't go on a rampage and ram this guy's red Bronco right in the ass. I finally get my 20 ounces of hot, Hardees brew and make my way home. All plans weren't in jest, however, I promptly put my pjs on, grabbed my book, and hit the "high" button on the recliner massager and killed 2 hours like it was nothin.

Trashy Book:
Awaken Me Darkly by Gena Showalter - aliens, guns, and a badass chick, all wrapped up in cheesy goodness.