Give Her a Holla!

As of today, or maybe last night, our single Tiara Girl, Shannon, got engaged to Mustachio (Tony) and she'll soon be a Smug Married like the rest of us old broads.

Skip on over there and check out the rock and give Shannon and Tony a big congrats!

Milestone

C started her period today.

Now we have an answer to the Linda Blair mood swings, greasy nose outbreak, and all around lousy disposition. Well, maybe not an answer, perhaps an excuse.

I was out of town for work and right in the middle of an assessment with a family when my phone started vibrating. I ignored it. I knew C was with B at the house; she loves it when I am out of town overnight, she and her dad will lie around like slugs watching movies and eating Ramen noodles. Whenever I am out of town, B will call me throughout the day to update me on his daily itinerary - whether I want it or not. When it began vibrating again less than 5 minutes later, I began to worry. I excused myself, and answered with, "What's wrong?"

C very excitedly told me the lowdown and when I said, "You know you need to..." she cut me off and proceeded to tell me how she took care of business by getting herself taken care of, finding the pads, telling her dad, calling her mom, my mom and my sister-in-law to let them ALL know that she finally started. We have had many discussions about where the pads are in the bathroom and the process she needs to take, so she was totally prepared. I am so proud of her. It's been slow, but I think she's finally growing up a little. I like it.

Now if only we can convince C's mom that it is So. Not. Cool. to have Sasquatch legs when 6th grade starts next month, and allowing C to shave her legs is in everyone's best interest.

Wish us luck.

Still Kicking

I'm not going to lie and say that things around here have gotten any less stressful, because they haven't. I am limping through trying to get back on track.

~The fever issue turned out to be a pretty serious case of strep, which I've never had in my life. Not the Strep Throat kind, but a systemic kind. Weird, I know. The massive dose of antibiotics seems to be helping, and I am starting to fell less like a zombie in the evenings. I am glad, bacause I was really starting to worry.

~C is still being a total shit, and this weekend was no exception. She and her mom were doing better for a while, but this weekend was a bust. On Friday, C's mom and her got a wild hair up their asses to dye her hair hot, electric pink. Yeah. It was supposed to be highlights, but turned into a Run Lola Run look that was pretty freaking nasty. It ended up frying her hair and, because I'm always the bad guy, on Saturday I ended up taking her to the salon for repair. Well, I am not shelling out 100+ bucks for her mom's stupid ass mistake, so she left the salon with a very short, Kiera Knightly type do, which was a shock to her system because her hair was past her shoulders. Many tears have occurred since then, but I believe a lesson was learned by C, which is this (I hope) "My mom has no sense of socially appropriate fashion/beauty, so listening to her wild schemes to 'do something cool' should be weighed heavily before I agree to them." Personally, I think the cut, which got out a lot of the pink along with copious shampoos with Dawn dish liquid, looks uber-cute and is she finally looks like the adolescent she's supposed to be.

~School is still whipping my ass. I completed my phenomenology presentation with my group. We lost some points (14) because we didn't do the juvenile "Let's play Jeopardy!" type presentation and felt that since the class has critiqued and reflected on the topic, they wouldn't need a regurgitation of theorists. He offered us an opportunity to make a chart for the class (like the other two groups have already done) and we turned it down. We are standing together on this one. Besides, we all have bonus points in the bank, so our grades weren't affected. I moved onto postructuralism, which was even more confusing than the other, but must have gotten something from it, because I did well on my critique. One more to go.

~ I am insanely jealous because the Georgia Bloggy Bash is coming up, and I am saving the bulk of my leave time for our beach trip in August and for a fall weekend get together of the Tiara Girls. I just couldn't take an extra 3-4 days off. Boo. Hiss. It would have also been a 2-for-1 because I could have gone to see/visit my friend Kathy and her family (including the newest addition of Mr. S.). Dang. So, I am taking a day trip with my mom to see Wicked in Columbus. We leave today and come back tomorrow. We always have a good time, and I am stoked to see the musical. I think I need a little break.

~B and I marked one year LID on the calendar on the 27th. To us, it was just another day in hundreds that are slowly moving along. I think I would feel better if we could just hear something positive. Send good vibes for a clean Review Room evaluation. Perhaps if we get through the RR, I can begin to see a pinpoint of light at the end of this long tunnel.

Good Times

In the midst of all my stress, I was able to take a break and ventured out last night to see B's band, Whistlepunk playing at the Vandalia Lounge. The guys have added a lady to the mix, Miss Karen, and she does a stupendous job. Before, the guitarist Spencer was singing, and although nice, his voice doesn't carry the richness of Karen's. Check them out and have a listen here. I don't get to see B play as often as I'd like because they usually start way past my bedtime (midnight or later) at some pretty skeevy places, so it was good to hear them live.

I Should be Packing

I've been a little enmeshed in school and work lately. I should be packing for an overnight business trip for which I have to leave at the crrrack tomorrow, but instead I am typing and surfing.

The stress levels are pretty high. As a matter of fact I can feel the cortisol pumping up my abdomen as I type. When I get like this, I usually whip out a MeMe or a list. This time, you get a list of what's been happening...

1. Remember this post when I talked about how I ended up with a fever after buying my car? Well the fever's still lingering. I have been tracking it for over a month now and almost every evening around 5-6 I carry a low grade fever (99-100) for a few hours. Oh, and guess what? My doctor (the one I like) has moved out of the county! WTF? So when I went in about my fever a few weeks ago, I saw one of the other partners in the practice. He appears to be a very competent doctor, but he is so incredibly short. Short people don't bother me, but this guy is wee. So wee, that even though I was sitting on the reclining table and he was standing next to me, I had to bend over so he could look in my ears. I am only 5'6". I go back next week with my fever diary and we go from there. It's not my thyroid or my hormone levels, so we don't know what it may be. My gut says that it's arthritis. I hope it's arthritis and not something else. We'll see.

2. School is wearing me down, man. I have a pretty hardcore class this summer - Curriculum Theories. The dude who teaches this course has a rigid timeline - critique due one week; reflection due the next. Each critique of the individual theory is approximately 20-25 pages long with at least 15 resources, and the reflections are between 6-8 pages. It sucks hard. This week I am on a bit of hiatus because my group presents (for 3 hours) about our selected theory - Phenomenological Curriculum Theory. ZZzzzzzzzzzzzz....

3. C has been an absolute terror to her mother over the last few months. It's ugly and we are struggling to keep an even keel. Lots of crisis intervention and spending more time with her than usual. C's a very big 11 1/2 year old (5'4" and 14olbs - size 10 women's shoe!), and she's pretty much taken the bully route with her mom. Now, her mom's no petite wilted flower, but the woman is still recuperating from a pretty nasty bout of thyroid cancer. C's mom is also a weak disciplinarian; a yeller who never follows through with groundings or punishments. We don't have these issues at our house because C has always known the layout of our family dynamics from the beginning: We are a team, but I am the captain. Period. I refuse to mediate between the two, so B gets stuck in that role (too much lately). We just have to wait and see how things pan out.

4. I have only had my new car for a month and it already has a scratch. I don't know how it happened, but I am pissed. B's car was vandalized Friday night and now he's missing a back window on the driver's side. I am pissed about that as well, but not for the same reason. The scratch I know I did not do; however, B should know better to leave an empty laptop case in the backseat. GRR.

5. My niece Evie (aka Chubs, who is no longer chubby) has really warmed up to me lately. Every time I see her we have a blast with her latest - shaking hands. She'll come up and say, "Hi Debbie. Watch you doin'?" or "Hi Debbie, I Evie, Friend." I also get really sweet snooches when we say goodbye.

6. I am quite happy about the new seasons of Hell's Kitchen and Top Chef. Let's just say that Gordon Ramsey and Tom Collichio can be added to my Sexy Ugly Boys list.

I just noticed the "Aren't I a badass?" chin grasp they both have going on.

He's Back!

Well, at least for tonight. Marcel and the other 3 members of the Season 2 Top Chef Final Four are on tonight at 10:00. Woot!

Next week, Season 3: Top Chef Miami begins.

Oh BTW, B surprised me with a 37 inch flat screen as an 8 year anniversary gift (he so knows the way to my heart)! Now I can watch Marcel and all of his freakalicious hair in technicolor glory.

Overheard

Conversation between My mom, Noah, and C on Memorial Day

N: Hey, my birthday's coming up. It's June 25th

C: Yeah I know.

My Mom: C's birthday is the same day as Jesus' - Christmas Day.

N: (turning to C) Are you married to Jesus?

C: No, that was Mary Mandolin and her birthday's in the summer.

XXOOXX

Let me extend a big snootchy thank you to all of my bloggy peeps who showed me the love on my last post. Yep, I was a big old Debbie Downer.

Y'all are awesome.

11 Down

How many more to go?

Although this blog was supposed to be a journal of our wait time for Ruby; a catalogue of the trials and tribulations of our adoption journey, it has become so much less. A venue for memes and way too much discussion about TV shows that do little more than rot my brain and unproductively fill my time. Unfortunately this won't be changing because I just wont talk about anything else.

Really, what more is there to discuss?

Should I provide a detailed description of how I have begun to take all of my Secret Pal gifts and place them in Rubbermaid containers in the basement because I don't have the energy/wherewithal/heart to decorate and look at an empty room?

Shall I discuss my inability to walk through children's departments without feeling like I have a gaping hole in my chest and my empty hands aching to hold onto the smaller grip of my daughter?

How about I tell you how I get physically sick whenever someone asks me, "What's happening with the adoption? When will it happen?"

Or finally, let's talk about how I worry daily that we'll be questioned or booted during Review and have to start the clock all over again, or (worst case scenario) watch a year's worth of time, emotion, and hope swirl down the drain?

I can't talk about it. I won't.

Happy LID anniversary to me.

Interview

Shanny offered the crack pipe and sent me some interview questions. I am such a MeMe 'ho, I couldn't resist!

1. If you were forced to give up one of your five senses, which would you pick?

More than likely my sense of smell. Especially right now, because B just farted and I am throwing up a little in my mouth. No seriously, smell. I have a hyper-sensitive nose, and even slight scents bother me and tend to trigger migraines. Vanilla-based scents are the worst. Also, if I gave up smell, perhaps my taste would be a little off and then I would eat less. It could be a 2-for-1 bonus.

2. You win the big jackpot in the lottery. $50 million. After you give to charity, pay for another adoption, buy new houses and pay off bills, what's the first truly indulgent thing you spend your money on? And it has to be just for you.

I would get 3 things. A personal trainer/chef. I feel better when I exercise, I just need someone kicking my butt to get it together and make the effort. Having someone pushing me through would be a huge help. I would also buy a couple of miniature Boston Terriers to be my sidekicks. Because I work/travel so much, having a dog isn't really an option. I would definitely get my pups. I would name them Boo Radley and Calpurnia.

3. If a movie was made based on your life, who would play you and your husband & why?
Well, there's no doubt that Phillip Seymour Hoffman would play B. He is B's brother of another mother, and the resemblance is somewhat disconcerting. Especially in MI:III where PSH is heavier. Now me? That's hard. On this site, my celebrity match is The Hoff; however, I don't think I want The Hoff to play me. So I think I'll go with Sara Rue. She's funny, curvy, and cute. A little bit like me.


4. Would you walk naked down your street, with all your neighbors watching, for $1 million?

Absolutely. I'd be smiling and waving, thinking to myself I will never have to see these people again. Ever. I am soooo moving outta here.

5. If you could live anywhere in the world for a year (money is no object) where would you live ?

I would probably stay right where I am and just move into a different house. I would use the money-that-is-no-object to buy a tricked out RV so B and I could hit the road and see America. Also, since money-is-no-object we would have Boo Radley and Calpurnia with us. We would take the scenic route to see all of the weird and wonderful sites in our country, eat at funky diners along the way, and take pictures of the dogs peeing on every"Welcome to Our State" sign we pass.

If you’d like to participate, here are the RULES.
If you want to participate:
1. Leave me a comment saying, “Interview me”, or words to that effect.
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions, but I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You have to include this explanation, and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Yes!

Go Blake!

I was incredibly excited to see that my current fave, Blake Lewis, made it to the final 2 tonight on a American Idol. No more No-Neck Dolittle!

Also, getting to see last year's fave, Elliot Yamin was an added bonus. His cd is growing on me. I am especially fond of his cover of Donny Hathaway's A Song for You.

Walking, Riding, and Wiggling

I've been pretty busy lately, and this weekend was no exception. Early Saturday morning, along with several of my coworkers and friends, I walked a mile for breast cancer research. Our state hosted the Susan G Koman Race for the Cure and raised over 75,000.00. Everyone should contribute to this cause; there are 2.3 breast cancer survivors in the United States because Early Detection is the Best Protection! One of those survivors is my friend Caroline's mom, Rose. Last year she found a lump early and was able to be treated with minimal invasion.

Here we are near the finish line, walking for Rose!
L to R: Caroline, Billie, Thea, Mary, & me.

We walked our mile, now walk yours! Support Breast Cancer Research!


Later that day, B and I drove over to the Hyundai dealership and traded in my beloved Sorento for this hot little number.

A 2007 Tucson in Mesa Red.

I loved my Sorento, but 18 MPG highway at 3.09 a gallon was killing me. I spent 120.00 on gas in 2 weeks! It was any easy trade and my MPG went up to 24-25 highway. Bonus! The saleswoman was hilarious, and we rocked out to great 80s tunes while they did our paperwork. Spending big amounts of money stresses me out, and usually I get really grouchy and panicky. This time I ended up with a fever. Weird.

On Sunday we BBQed with my parents and my brother's family, which is always fun. Noah had a good time showing us his wiggly front tooth, and later that evening pulled it out. Check him out!

Victim

I work for a private company that contracts with public programs. A little confusing, but it works. Prior to this job, I never had to deal with performance evaluations and merit increases. The state or non-profit company I worked for at the time would do an across the board cost-of-living increase every year or so and everyone got the same thing. Now, I go through a 3 step process that involves self-evaluation, discussion, and eventual merit increase based on performance. I just had my final meeting last week and did better than I expected, so the mood was high when I called the automatic teller to check my direct deposit amount. The AT gave a balance first. I have been a little lax in the checkbook balancing, so I opted to hear the last 10 transactions because I had no idea how much of that balance was my paycheck and how much was left over from last time. Here's what I heard:

Withdraw 4/19 10.59
Withdraw 4/19 10.59
Withdraw 4/19 10.59
Withdraw 4/19 10.59
Withdraw 4/19 10.59
Withdraw 4/19 10.59
Direct Deposit 4/19 $$$$$$$ (Did you really think I was going to tell you how much I get paid?)
Withdraw 4/19 23.05
Withdraw 4/19 10.59
Withdraw 4/19 10.59

After the first couple of repeats of, "Withdraw 4/19 10.59," I thought maybe the computer had a glitch. Wrong. I called my local branch and found out that someone used my debit card to purchase copious amounts of memberships to a couple of different online retailers. The bank immediately blocked the card and told me to come in to take care of the paperwork. We discovered that the bulk of the transactions took place with 2 retailers I never use (they shall remain nameless because I will not promote them even negatively). One would think that after 17 purchases on the same day, using the same credit/debit card number, someone would be suspicious. Nope. They pushed them all through.

Between Friday, Saturday, and Tuesday I filled out 35 affidavits for 35 transactions and I am currently waiting for the bank to refund around 400 bucks. Everyone at the bank knows me by name now, due to the serious amount of quality time I spent with Brent, the bank manager. I believe Brent may name his second child after me.

You know what made me the maddest? The fact that the criminal didn't go for the big stuff. Penny-ante shit at 10 or 6 dollars a shot x 35. What a waste of time.

My theory is - If you're going to violate someone, be a real criminal, not a petty thief. At least when you go to jail, you'll have something to brag about.

Sexy Ugly Boys

Around the time of my TV Rant that contained a brief love letter and girly squee over Eddie Izzard, wzgirl said, "So you like Sexy-ugly, too?" At time I had a brief, "yeah I do" moment and let it go. Well, last night the thought about how much I like sexy-ugly boys hit home when I realized that every Friday night (EST), time stops between 9:00-10:00 so I can watch my current crush mumble through an hour of pretty bad TV.

For some reason, it's always the best friend of the sexy leading man or the weird brother of the beautiful leading woman that gets me. I do not feel the Brad Pitt love. Ever.

Now don't get me wrong, I love a pretty boy. I love Julian McMahon. Lots and lots. I also really appreciate many other handsome men. But I'm telling you, it's the SUB that crushes me. There's just something about the weird, quirky ones.

My sexy-ugly boys:




Who are yours?

One Question Answered

It's about damn time.

Who, What, When, Where, and Why?

Some questions I've been pondering. What are your thoughts dear reader?

What the hell is going on with this Sanjaya thing?

Why am I almost 36 and have more pimples now than at 16, and why am I compelled to pick at them and create scars on my aging, tender skin?

Where can I find really cute summer flats that fit? I have a wide ball of foot/toe area and a narrow heel. Every flat I find fits in the front and flops in the back.

What is Jay Z talking about in the song Big Pimpin', when he talks about "spinning the cheese;" is that really what he's saying, and if so, what is he referring to?

Why is it that people will release intensely personal blogs, share all of their emotions, day-by-day life events, tears, joys, fears, and turmoil then shut down? I understand the purpose of going private; to me, that's a non-issue. However, when a blogger has hundreds of readers hanging onto their daily posts, there has to be some obligation to the reader and when does that end (or start)? What obligation does a blogger have to his/her readers to keep going? Why is it that the reader feels some emotional tie to the blogger, and why are we so disappointed when it ends? Who gets the shaft - the blogger who feels compelled to be witty and produce, or the reader who invests time and emotion in this person who has let it all hang out for years then is cut off without warning?

What's going on with women today who feel like they must participate in a show like The Bachelor or Flava of Love? When did women become this desperate for a taste of fame or for a man?

Who can tell me where to find a mascara that doesn't flake or cause raccoon eye?

When does career happiness take place of career advancement or change? I spend a lot of time thinking about this, and may take a plunge into something different. My job and my doc program have 2 completely different paths. I will not advance or move in my job after I finish this program, so I am constantly wondering when and how to make the change.

San Antonio

Per Johnny's recommendation, I decided not to blog about our recent trip to San Antonio until we returned. I hinted several times on the blog that we were headed to Texas, but never said when we were going to be gone. Not that I believe any of the few readers I have were going to rob our house.

B and I had a wonderful week in San Antonio at the 2007 SITE conference. Instead of comprehensive exams, my university requires doc students to complete a Residency Portfolio. The RP is a capstone experience that each student must complete prior to acceptance to candidacy. I am pretty far into the process. I have developed an online course, taught said course for the last 2 semesters, and presented at our bi-annual student seminar. With this conference, I added 2 more artifacts to my RP - a published paper and a presentation at an international conference. My presentation was part of an 8 person symposia about the RP process and multimedia integration. My piece was about the mentoring relationship during the development of my course. It went off without a hitch, and I was especially flattered because one person (who wasn't B) came just to hear me speak! How cool is that?

On to the trip...

Weather: San Antonio is beautiful, clean and breezy. When the weather was good, it was great. However it managed to rain all day on Monday, and spit in fits on Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday. Wednesday was perfect.

Flight: No big deal. The flights down were cramped and we were seated in the very back of a small plane across from the toilets. Nice. The return flights were just as cramped, but we were farther up the plane. Lots of turbulence from the storms, but otherwise okay. Dramamine is my friend.

Food: Everyone I've met who's gone to San Antonio says that the food is wonderful. To me, it was okay. We had good meals and bad meals.

~On Sunday and Tuesday we ended up at this place, it wasn't on purpose, it just happened that way. The best things were the margaritas and the chicken flautas.

~On Wednesday we went out with our group to this place, and I had my best meal in San Antonio - penne with chicken, spicy chilies and tomato cream sauce. Dang, it was awesome.

Wednesday we ate at this crap place because we were stuck in the Riverwalk Mall and later had junk food at the Spurs game. Wednesday was a bad food day all around.

~Thursday those of us left at the conference had our last supper at this place. Meh. Not my favorite. You can swing a cat in our state and hit a steakhouse. This was my worst meal.

~Breakfast was in the hotel. I loved the chef; he made me tomato and cheese omelets every day. It didn't hurt that he was really cute and had sexy tattoos on both forearms.

~I also discovered these, and I am sad, sad, sad because they are not offered in my state. Actually, it's probably a good thing. If I ate these all of the time, I would have cankles and probably weigh 4000 lbs.

Fun:The Riverwalk that winds through the city is beautiful and relaxing. We walked our legs off every day.

~Before we took our car back on Monday, we went to the Quarry Market and shopped, but it was like any other mall.

~Wednesday was perfect, and was Big Fun Day. We shopped at the Riverwalk mall on Wednesday, and I ended up bringing home many T-shirts and lots of this stuff, which smells like a dream. After shopping we went to the Alamo and then took a River Taxi back to our hotel. Later the entire group of us went to the San Antonio/New Orleans NBA game and were so far up in the arena I got vertigo! Check out the pics if you don't believe me!

Filler

B and I got back from San Antonio late yesterday, and I'll blog as soon as I download pictures. So, because I know you've been missing me, here's a little meme...

1. Can you cook? Yes, which is a large part of my weight problem. My specialities are ribs, pulled pork BBQ, macaroni and cheese, mashed potatoes, and a mean pot of chicken chili stoup.

2. What was your dream growing up? To be famous. I would (and continue to) fantasize about walking the red carpet with a really sexy guy (lately it's been James Spader - shut up!) in a rad black dress.

3. What talent do you wish you had? Taking a good photograph either as the photographer or as the subject. I would love to be able to take creative photos with accurate lighting and neat content. As the subject, I would like to not look like I was smelling something, which is what I look like in most pictures of me.

4. Favorite place? In my bed with fresh sheets, my head in B's lap, a big glass of ice water, and the remote control.

5. Favorite vegetable? Brussels Sprouts. Yum.

6. The last book you read? I have read 2 over the last week. Speak No Evil by Allison Brennen, #2 in a trilogy. It was somewhat disappointing. She's done better. I also read Lover Revealed by J. R. Ward, #4 in the Black Dagger Brotherhood series. Very, very good. Can't put down good. Oh how I love me some vampires.

7. What zodiac sign are you? Leo

8. Any Tattoos and /or Piercings? No tattoos, and just the 1980s requisite 2 ear piercings. I rarely wear earrings, but will occasionally poke some through all 4 holes to make sure I still have the option of wearing 2 pairs at the same time.

9. Worst Habit? I have many. The two that happen the most now are: Interrupting and biting my cuticles.

10. Do we know each other outside of this blog? I got this from Krista whom I've not had the pleasure of hanging with, but know that I will someday. She's the bomb, yo.

11. What is your favorite sport? To play? None. To watch? I am not a sports fan. I will watch soccer and men's swimming. I will also watch basketball, which you will read about when I post about my recent trip to San Antonio.

12. Negative or Optimistic attitude? Dude, when it comes to self matters, I am so negative. I am a "glass if full of poison" girl. However, I try to be optimistic with my friends and family. Stiff upper lip and all.

13. What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator? Go through my purse. Balance my checkbook. File my nails. Write a grocery list. Sing.

14. Worst thing to ever happen to you? I've had bad things happen. I've been in a bank robbery, 14 car accidents, had surgery complications and almost lost my right breast, had a too-close-for-comfort situation with a murderer (I will blog about this), and recently lost 3 dogs and 3 family members in the last 3 years. I have bad ju-ju, man. So far though, nothing has been worse than going through the pain of infertility and getting my ass dragged through the slowest adoption ever.

15. Tell me a weird fact about you: Oh where to begin? I have to either have my butt rubbed or rub my own butt every night as I am going to sleep. I love Mexican/Spanish food but will die of starvation before I'll eat guacamole. I cannot touch a cotton ball - the sensory overload is too much to handle. B and my friend Alicia really get off on torturing me about this by leaving little cotton balls on my chair. I hate whistling with a passion. Fingernails on a blackboard passion.

16. Do you have any pets? Yes, two cats - Darwin and Eliza.

17. Do you know how to do the Macarena? God no. I also refuse to learn the Electric Slide.

18. What time is it where you are now? 11:10 am

19. Do you think clowns are cute or scary? Clowns scare the shit out of me. I had a boyfriend in college who wanted to be a clown. He would drag me to the circus every time they came to town. He would totally dress up in clown gear, get his face painted, and act like an idiot. What a dork.

20. If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be? I would lose weight. Duh.

21. What color eyes do you have? Green

22. Ever been arrested? No

23. Bottle or Draft? Ice cold bottle. I am not a beer drinker, so I really don't care.

24. If you won $10,000 dollars today, what would you do with it? Pay off my car, then stick the payment amount in savings.

25. What kind of bubble gum do you prefer to chew? Hubba Bubba bubble gum. I especially like Original and Grape/Berry. I chew lots of Hubba Bubba when I drive, and I blow huge bubbles popping it the whole time.

26. Which is your favorite bar to hang at? Get real. That would cut into my TV time.

27. Do you believe in ghosts? Hell yeah, and they scare the pee out of me.

28. Favorite thing to do in your spare time? Duh - watch TV! I also read trashy books (see #6).

29. Do you swear a lot? Umm, yes.

30. What is your favorite swear word? Goddamn.

31. Biggest pet peeve? People who bring their children to Rated R movies.

32. In one word, how would you describe yourself? Driven

Killer

Meet Darwin

Darwin is our 7 year old, 15 pound beast, who frequently stalks, attacks, and kills my rolled socks, beats down his sister Eliza, and very loudly lets me know when it is time for his nightly snack. He is a total drag queen who grooms so much that brushing his 3-4 inch fur is not an option; even the bottoms of his paws are snowy white. In B's mind his voice sounds very much like Eddie Izzard's - a British accent with a little girlie squee thrown in just to make you wonder.

He proved his queenliness last night.

Around 11:00 I wandered down to the kitchen to refresh my monster glass of ice water that must be by my bedside every. single. night. I flipped the light switch, and right by my left foot was this huge water bug. That sucker was at least as long as my pinkie finger. Holy shit! My first thought was to pick it up with a paper towel and squish it, but it was just to big. I knew that the guts would go everywhere, and they really stink when you kill them. They crunch. So I decided to let the cats out to let them chase it and kill it. Survival of the fittest and all.

After about a minute of calling and cooing, Darwin came sauntering up the basement steps. He plopped down in the doorway and looked at me. I swear if that cat had eyebrows, one would have been raised. I pointed to the water bug and told him to go kill it.

He didn't move.

I then picked him up, placed him in front of the water bug, and said, "Kill it."

He laid down on the bug, who managed to wriggle out and run right in Darwin's line of vision and escaped into the dark underbelly of the dining room table. A place a bug and myself will never rendevouz.

I then said, "Darwin, what the hell? Go kill the goddamn bug!" and pointed to the dining room. I think I even stomped my foot a little.

Darwin slowly got up, sashayed across the kitchen, looked back at me once with a "get bent" stare, and promptly went down the basement steps to bed.

Lazy, spoiled ass cat.

*I have no idea where that bug is, but I am calling the Orkin man on Monday.

TV Rant

As y'all know, I've been a little wrapped up in TV lately. B doesn't watch as much TV as me, and I've been traveling for work and doing copious amounts of schoolwork, so discussion with my posses has been sparse; thus the attempt to spark some Internet discussion before I implode.

America's Next Top Model - This is the first season I have watched from the beginning and I am way into this train wreck. These women are crazy, and I am not talking a "Gosh, she's so crazy!" No, I am talking certifiable crazy. Especially the Russian mail-order bride, Natasha. Whoa.
So my questions -
1. What's up with Tyra overacting more than usual? That whole stepping thing in the premiere and then last night with the make-over drama. I thought her flamenco dancing last season was embarrassing, but Damn! Tyra! Take it down a notch. We get it, you are ghetto fabulous.
2. Is it me, or are some of these women cognitively delayed? Now, I am not saying models are stupid or have mental retardation, but I am questioning the cognitive abilities of Jael, Diane, and Jaslene.
3. Is Rachel a raging bitch, or what?

American Idol - I am so disappointed this season. I am having trouble mustering the will to watch. So far, I am rooting for Lakisha. She's got the pipes and she's genuine. So, I have some questions, and perhaps some of you can answer them:
1. How many of you are tired of Melinda and her "aw shucks, y'all" bullshit. I'm sorry, but I am so not buying it. How can anyone sing that well, have a decent career as a back-up singer, and be that freaking confident not have an inkling of her talent? Please.
2. What's up with Krista's boyfriend Chris and the head shaking? I get a little queasy if I watch for too long.
3. Is it me, or does anyone else get totally grossed out by Gina's nasty tongue piercing and grody white coated tongue? The woman worked in a dentist's office for Christ's sake! She should know the damage a tongue stud can do to her veneers and she should know how to "brush" her tongue. EW.
4. Sunjaya - WTF?
5. Okay, how many of you think that Phil looks like Bat Boy?

The Riches - No questions, just some thoughts. I don't know how much I am going to like this show, which is about this family of grifters that steals the identities of a man and wife they run off the road with their RV and inadvertently kill. The man and woman's name was Rich, and they were on their way to their newly Internet purchased home in Florida. Meh. Right? Perhaps, but this show features Eddie Izzard as the main character, and Oh. My. God. I love Eddie Izzard with every fiber of my being. I don't know what it is. He's not attractive in a conventional way and he's a transvestite who wears more make-up than me (not that being a transvestite is a bad thing, I just want to be the pretty one in my relationships), but I think he's dead sexy. I have probably seen Dress to Kill 10 times. He's hilarious in a cerebral, acerbic way and I *heart* him very much; therefore, I am watching this show whether I like it or not. I'll keep you posted.

Grey's Anatomy - Okay, last night really pissed me off. What the hell is Shonda thinking?
1. I love Callie, and think she's pretty awesome because she puts up with George's bullshit, especially his snarky friends. So predictable to have him and Izzie drunk then wake up together. Whatever. I guess now we are going to have to deal with the fallout in the typical predictable fashion. Yawn. The whole,"Did we have sex? I was so drunk I can't remember!" crap is so overdone. Didn't this just happen on Desperate Housewives with Gabby and the weird guy? Raise your hand if you think Izzie is a selfish bitch and needs slapped every single time she opens her stupid mouth.
2. Am I the only one who thinks that the only good plot lately is Alex and Jane Doe? He just gets better every week.
3. As soon as the Old Soap Opera guy grabbed Christina's ass, B (who rarely watches this show) said, "Whoa! She's a surgeon whore; a succubus. I see this all the time, once she learns everything from them she moves on to the next, more powerful doctor." Now, B works with residents and interns daily, but still. Can we all say Predictable?

Okay. I'm done. Talk amongst yourselves. Let the rant begin.