What I've Been Doing

It is finished, defended, and approved. I am officially a All But Dissertation. This, my friends, is a very, very, good thing!

Really, this is the biggest news I have. Some other updates:

~ We still have no resolution with our homeowners insurance on the ceiling collapse in our dining room. A structural engineer came and did a review the same day as my portfolio defense. She seemed positive that the entire ceiling should be replaced because of the lack of plasterers in our living area. Especially a plasterer who can do horsehair plaster repair.

~ In the midst of our home improvement, I aggravated my abnormal hips (anterior tilt in my right pelvic bone), and locked up my right side. After grouting, yard work, 3 hours driving and 12+ hours in heels, I totally wrecked my lower back. I have seen my chiropractor daily, even over the weekend, and have been bed-fast since last Thursday. I can sit for 10 minutes and stand for 15. I have no idea how I am going to teach for 3 hours tonight, drive for 3 and teach for 3 tomorrow, and sit through 2 1/2 of class for me on Wed, and teach another 3 hours on Thurs. I am wearing a lovely support belt, which is SEXY, and taking 800 Ibuprofen and 1000 Tylenol. Right now, I am reclining in my bed on the heating pad. Believe me, the reclining became old about 3 hours into last Thursday. My hair is wrecked as well and I basically look like this:

Buckling Down

I haven't totally abandoned blogging, I just haven't had much to say. Things have been a little redundant here and I wanted to spare my 1-2 readers the boring details. I have been working extra hard and bucking down to get some things done to make some of those changes I was talking about in this post. Small successes, but there is some good news to share!

I am almost finished with my Portfolio, and definitely will defend in June. Last week, my chair returned my reflection with no revision requests! I was pretty surprised because I turned in my first draft of the paper as my rough draft. Yeah, that's how I roll - I write in my head over and over, put fingers to typepad, and turn it in. Don't judge me.

Also, I have made the first steps of getting my dissertation together. A research project in the public school system came up and the dean (who is on my committee) felt it would be a good fit with me! The topic is interesting and fits really well with my experiences as a social worker. I met with our local Board of Ed last week and was able to iron out the details some. Both the dean and my chair are very supportive of this topic and if I buckle down I should finish by next spring or summer as planned. Even though I am going about the process a little backward because I am starting some exploratory qualitative research in a couple of weeks, it has been approved and I am safe. If all goes as it should, not only will I finish my doctorate, the research will be applied and will possibly influence policy changes in our county. That's pretty major. It means I have to phase out of the other project, but those wheels are turning already.

The professor for my class made another student cry a few weeks ago. The person couldn't hide it or hold it in (like me) and had a mini-meltdown right in the middle of her presentation. Oh yeah, it was rough. I hate it that my classmate had the same experience as me, but I am glad it happened for 2 reasons:

1) It wasn't just a personality clash between the two of us; I was worried that it was "just me."

2) She got a real glimpse of how hard she pushes and has backed down significantly.

We have had one hit over the last month that kinda bites, but we're not letting it bring us down too much. In this post, remember how I discussed our I-1600 renewal and how B's HR person was holding us up? Well, she held us up enough that we now have to file the new I-1800 and pay all of the fees (870 bucks). Our homestudy update was still free, but those fees hurt. It also scares me that because we have to fill out the new form, we won't get approved or it will mess things up for us. So scared that I haven't contacted our agency to tell them. Any thoughts or experiences that can make me feel better about this are welcome. They did send us a fingerprint appointment, so that makes me feel like it's going to be okay. Regardless, you never know how the Federal Govt. will handle things.

I noticed a while back that since I quit participating in Secret Pal exchanges that I no longer buy or look at anything baby related. I am removing myself from this process and don't feel connected to it anymore. We're 22 months post LID with no foreseeable future. Nice, 3 days, dudes. I am beginning to settle into acceptance and resignation that this may not happen for us, and I am really bothered about it. People no longer ask about the adoption, and I've noticed that days will go by without any thought or discussion of Ruby. It's breaking my heart because our hope is dying and I don't know how to get the adoption mojo going.

Because denial is a wonderful emotion, I am running away with little trips and adventures. On the books are:

* A trip with my mom and C to see The Lion King in September.

* A family weekend to Ced@r L@kes with 2 other families (B's cousin and his BF from high school). B, Matt, and Dan will take all 6 kids to the park while Missy, Shar, and I shop at the outlets. I see a Co@ch outlet in my future.

*And tonight, I am going to see these guys with my brother. Yeah!

Land of the Living

Hello?...

Anyone out there?...

I know, I know, it's been a while, and for that I am sorry. Things have been a little hectic around here, and blogging just hasn't been at the forefront of my priority list. The past month has been a doozy, so pull up a chair and enjoy the reasons why I haven't been blogging.

Reason #1: School is whipping my ass. I am taking one class this semester, but the workload is overwhelming. I am currently reading my SEVENTH text book, planning for interviews and focus groups with 3 area schools, and really, really disliking the class as a whole, especially my professor due to rank negativity and supreme narcissism. Yes, it's a joy. The good news is that I am pulling together my artifacts and writing my reflection as part of the admission to candidacy process in order to move on to dissertation. Required artifacts is 5+, and I have 13. Woot! I should defend in May or June.

Reason #2: B bought me a 4gig Gen3 N@no for Valentine's Day. Whenever I have had a free moment, I will download a CD or browse some music and/or audiobooks. I am an apple addict and I am okay with it. B totally despises M@c and I can't believe he even bought it, but I guess my whining go to him and has paid off. I am in love with my new gadget, and combined with my noise-canceling headphones, it was a lifesaver on the plane ride to and from Las Vegas (nice segue, Deb).

Reason #3: I went to Las Vegas a few weeks ago and didn't have as good a time as I wanted because of the company I kept. I have decided that I am a terrible traveling/living companion and should not travel/live with anyone who is not bound to me by blood or law. I can co-exist with others who are not bound to me by blood or law for around 2-3 days as long as I have my own room. Otherwise, it's a bust. I spent a 24/7 week with a school colleague and, by day 3, I was taking my 10 minutes of stolen alone time to call B in a snit. I should be ashamed because my colleague is an incredibly nice, devoutly religious, non-judgmental person. It was just too much contact time with someone who doesn't know the real me. You know, the non-religious, crass, foul-mouthed, foodie who lives for a great meal and is willing to pay for it both literally and figuratively? The laziest person alive, who will also gladly tell you that you have a booger, pick your zit, and offer scathing, judgemental opinions about fashion faux pas on every street corner? Well, the true colors of my personality couldn't shine through for fear of offending or scandalizing the poor woman. It was too much time with a person who is fundamentally different on every level. Personally, I didn't plan to go to the city that never sleeps to find ways to save money, hit the sheets by 10:30, and spend hours walking in order to avoid paying for a cab - but I did. Oh the shows were good and the lights were amazing, but with a crappy hotel, only one really good meal, no privacy to poop, and no opportunity to see any showgirls, real gamblers, or drunk celebrities, I was ready to snap and thanked B profusely for my only escape (See Reason #3).

Reason #5: There is a really good chance that I am going back to Las Vegas with B in June. He's headed out for a conference and my goal is to wipe the slate clean. I plan to eat at good restaurants, gamble a good bit, see some showgirls, and stay at a hotel where the latest update took place in this century. I cannot wait to experience Vegas with B, my soul mate in filth.

Reason #6: Month 21 of LID is approaching on the 27th, and the discouragement and depression about our adoption is a consistently hovering black cloud. What's to say? At least the PTB have finally moved into 2006 - by 4 days. So, I am wondering if this means we should go ahead and renew our paperwork? We have put it off because, really, what's the point? Motivation to pursue anything adoption-wise is at an all-time low. This past weekend we gave C's old twin bed to my niece, Chubs, and ended up cleaning out a significant space in Ruby's to-be nursery. Sadly, doing this neither encouraged nor inspired B and me to begin planning how to decorate her nursery. In truth, we just shifted the Rubbermaid containers, extracted the bed, and shut the door on an almost empty room. A room that will stay that way for at least another year.

Don't know when I'll blog again, but next up will be an in-depth discussion of why I like Wednesdays best of all - just for Walternatives!

Blessings

Happy Thanksgiving, blogosphere. We've had some blessings over the past few weeks for which I am grateful.

~We introduced a second medication to C's treatment, and after 2 weeks of monitoring, we are starting to see some improvement. She also has an incentive to try harder; an incentive goes by the name of Alex. Alex is her "crush," and if she doesn't get to go to the next dance she, "Might.Just.DIE!" After I patiently explained to her that good behavior (no temper outbursts, better grades) warrants good things (movies with Alex, B & me, slow dancing at the Christmas dance with Alex), we've since seen a complete 180. Seriously. I remind her daily of her goal - Christmas dance, new outfit, Alex, Alex, Alex - and she manages to get it together. Unfortunately, she feels she cannot talk with her mom about Alex, so that makes it a little difficult. Her mother thinks she just wants to go to the dance. C is pretty open with me about her feelings about boys and friendships. Recently, she and I had a very frank discussion about boys and all the hormones, during which C politely informed me that, "Kissing is gross at my age." B was relieved.

~The conference proposal I wrote with two of my peers in my Doc program was submitted a few weeks ago, and we found out yesterday it was accepted. Looks like we will be traveling in March to present in VEGAS - Woot! With this acceptance, I get my second paper published in an international conference proceeding, get to go to Vegas for a week, and only have to present for 15 minutes. How awesome is that? Sadly, B will not be going with me this time. I think he's a little happy because I was definitely going to make him go to several cheesy shows. I am trying to talk my mom into going with me, but I don't think she's up for it. Too bad, we would have great fun.

~ I am currently cooking up a storm and packing like a fiend for my weekend adventure with the Tiara Girls - Susan, Shanny, and Shannon. Yes, Shannon is coming with us. She's on a giddy high because she finally, finally got her referral for Emily and she got a new nephew to boot. The referral was a little shaky for a second, but it's all good now. Go on over an take a gander at the cuteness. Tomorrow morning my very pregnant friend Caroline and I are heading out for the drive down to a little cabin in Asheville, NC. We're leaving early because (from what I hear) pregnant people need lots of pee stops, I tend to get lost in unfamiliar places after dark, and we have to stop for postcards at the WV and VA Welcome Centers per Susan's request. Plus, I am just so damn excited for a weekend of Christmas at Biltmore, junk food, mojitos, board games, and quite possibly some interpretive dancing to hits of the 80's, I would leave today if I could could get by with it.

Still Kicking

I'm not going to lie and say that things around here have gotten any less stressful, because they haven't. I am limping through trying to get back on track.

~The fever issue turned out to be a pretty serious case of strep, which I've never had in my life. Not the Strep Throat kind, but a systemic kind. Weird, I know. The massive dose of antibiotics seems to be helping, and I am starting to fell less like a zombie in the evenings. I am glad, bacause I was really starting to worry.

~C is still being a total shit, and this weekend was no exception. She and her mom were doing better for a while, but this weekend was a bust. On Friday, C's mom and her got a wild hair up their asses to dye her hair hot, electric pink. Yeah. It was supposed to be highlights, but turned into a Run Lola Run look that was pretty freaking nasty. It ended up frying her hair and, because I'm always the bad guy, on Saturday I ended up taking her to the salon for repair. Well, I am not shelling out 100+ bucks for her mom's stupid ass mistake, so she left the salon with a very short, Kiera Knightly type do, which was a shock to her system because her hair was past her shoulders. Many tears have occurred since then, but I believe a lesson was learned by C, which is this (I hope) "My mom has no sense of socially appropriate fashion/beauty, so listening to her wild schemes to 'do something cool' should be weighed heavily before I agree to them." Personally, I think the cut, which got out a lot of the pink along with copious shampoos with Dawn dish liquid, looks uber-cute and is she finally looks like the adolescent she's supposed to be.

~School is still whipping my ass. I completed my phenomenology presentation with my group. We lost some points (14) because we didn't do the juvenile "Let's play Jeopardy!" type presentation and felt that since the class has critiqued and reflected on the topic, they wouldn't need a regurgitation of theorists. He offered us an opportunity to make a chart for the class (like the other two groups have already done) and we turned it down. We are standing together on this one. Besides, we all have bonus points in the bank, so our grades weren't affected. I moved onto postructuralism, which was even more confusing than the other, but must have gotten something from it, because I did well on my critique. One more to go.

~ I am insanely jealous because the Georgia Bloggy Bash is coming up, and I am saving the bulk of my leave time for our beach trip in August and for a fall weekend get together of the Tiara Girls. I just couldn't take an extra 3-4 days off. Boo. Hiss. It would have also been a 2-for-1 because I could have gone to see/visit my friend Kathy and her family (including the newest addition of Mr. S.). Dang. So, I am taking a day trip with my mom to see Wicked in Columbus. We leave today and come back tomorrow. We always have a good time, and I am stoked to see the musical. I think I need a little break.

~B and I marked one year LID on the calendar on the 27th. To us, it was just another day in hundreds that are slowly moving along. I think I would feel better if we could just hear something positive. Send good vibes for a clean Review Room evaluation. Perhaps if we get through the RR, I can begin to see a pinpoint of light at the end of this long tunnel.

San Antonio

Per Johnny's recommendation, I decided not to blog about our recent trip to San Antonio until we returned. I hinted several times on the blog that we were headed to Texas, but never said when we were going to be gone. Not that I believe any of the few readers I have were going to rob our house.

B and I had a wonderful week in San Antonio at the 2007 SITE conference. Instead of comprehensive exams, my university requires doc students to complete a Residency Portfolio. The RP is a capstone experience that each student must complete prior to acceptance to candidacy. I am pretty far into the process. I have developed an online course, taught said course for the last 2 semesters, and presented at our bi-annual student seminar. With this conference, I added 2 more artifacts to my RP - a published paper and a presentation at an international conference. My presentation was part of an 8 person symposia about the RP process and multimedia integration. My piece was about the mentoring relationship during the development of my course. It went off without a hitch, and I was especially flattered because one person (who wasn't B) came just to hear me speak! How cool is that?

On to the trip...

Weather: San Antonio is beautiful, clean and breezy. When the weather was good, it was great. However it managed to rain all day on Monday, and spit in fits on Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday. Wednesday was perfect.

Flight: No big deal. The flights down were cramped and we were seated in the very back of a small plane across from the toilets. Nice. The return flights were just as cramped, but we were farther up the plane. Lots of turbulence from the storms, but otherwise okay. Dramamine is my friend.

Food: Everyone I've met who's gone to San Antonio says that the food is wonderful. To me, it was okay. We had good meals and bad meals.

~On Sunday and Tuesday we ended up at this place, it wasn't on purpose, it just happened that way. The best things were the margaritas and the chicken flautas.

~On Wednesday we went out with our group to this place, and I had my best meal in San Antonio - penne with chicken, spicy chilies and tomato cream sauce. Dang, it was awesome.

Wednesday we ate at this crap place because we were stuck in the Riverwalk Mall and later had junk food at the Spurs game. Wednesday was a bad food day all around.

~Thursday those of us left at the conference had our last supper at this place. Meh. Not my favorite. You can swing a cat in our state and hit a steakhouse. This was my worst meal.

~Breakfast was in the hotel. I loved the chef; he made me tomato and cheese omelets every day. It didn't hurt that he was really cute and had sexy tattoos on both forearms.

~I also discovered these, and I am sad, sad, sad because they are not offered in my state. Actually, it's probably a good thing. If I ate these all of the time, I would have cankles and probably weigh 4000 lbs.

Fun:The Riverwalk that winds through the city is beautiful and relaxing. We walked our legs off every day.

~Before we took our car back on Monday, we went to the Quarry Market and shopped, but it was like any other mall.

~Wednesday was perfect, and was Big Fun Day. We shopped at the Riverwalk mall on Wednesday, and I ended up bringing home many T-shirts and lots of this stuff, which smells like a dream. After shopping we went to the Alamo and then took a River Taxi back to our hotel. Later the entire group of us went to the San Antonio/New Orleans NBA game and were so far up in the arena I got vertigo! Check out the pics if you don't believe me!