Has It Really Been That Long?

Wow, it's hard to believe that it's been a month and a half since I last blogged about anything. I've had things going on, but I guess blogging about them hasn't really been in the forefront of my mind. I guess I'll continue my current MO of bullet updates and hopefully get back into blogging sometime in the future. Somehow I doubt this, but it sure sounds good.

~This is my last week at my current job, and truthfully, Friday can't come fast enough. I saw my last client today, and there were no bittersweet feelings associated with any of my "last" activities. I wonder what that says about me?

~The new job starts Monday and I am woefully unprepared. Not really, I am ready, but I think I'll feel this way until I get into the groove

~About every 2-3 months I have been getting these lingering sinus infections. I am currently on day 10 of my current one, and it has totally whipped my ass. Since this time last year, I have been on: 10 antibiotics, 2 decongestants, 2 cough medications, an antihistamine, a nasal spray, had 2 steroid shots, a CT scan, a chest x-ray, and use a Neti Pot regularly. I have pretty severe allergies to grasses, plants, trees, and molds. My theory is that I have this, which makes total sense, since molds and fungus cause my most severe reactions. I am currently waiting on an ENT appointment, and am at the point where I will welcome the surgical scrape to get rid of this shit.

~I finished my final course and have now entered the dissertation phase of my doctorate. I am planning to defend my portfolio in early September and will officially be a candidate.

~We have a leak in our bathtub which has caused our 80 year old horsehair plaster dining room ceiling to collapse. We have to have the plumber 'diagnose' our problem and then our homeowners insurance will pay to repair the ceiling. All of that plaster dust and leaky residue is surely contributing to my sinus issues. Dammit.

~I had an 80s Karaoke birthday party last week for my 37th birthday. We totally rocked the face off the 80s music. B and I duetted to Bon Jovi's Dead or Alive. It was awesome. I will post pictures as soon as I can. The cake alone is worth seeing.

~ The latest addition to our family was born 2 days later. Mr. Jonah Brian (JB) is now comfortably at home nursing the night away. He's the first kid in 2 generations to be born with hair, which is a pretty amazing feat considering most of us were bald until at least 2. I've only seen pictures because I have been too sick to be around him.

~ Michael Phelps is KICKING ASS!

~ Our agency told us to hold off completing the I-800. We let our 171-H expire (long story), and have to re-file. The worker told us to just wait for a while, which is pretty freaking discouraging. 25 months and counting.

Land of the Living

Hello?...

Anyone out there?...

I know, I know, it's been a while, and for that I am sorry. Things have been a little hectic around here, and blogging just hasn't been at the forefront of my priority list. The past month has been a doozy, so pull up a chair and enjoy the reasons why I haven't been blogging.

Reason #1: School is whipping my ass. I am taking one class this semester, but the workload is overwhelming. I am currently reading my SEVENTH text book, planning for interviews and focus groups with 3 area schools, and really, really disliking the class as a whole, especially my professor due to rank negativity and supreme narcissism. Yes, it's a joy. The good news is that I am pulling together my artifacts and writing my reflection as part of the admission to candidacy process in order to move on to dissertation. Required artifacts is 5+, and I have 13. Woot! I should defend in May or June.

Reason #2: B bought me a 4gig Gen3 N@no for Valentine's Day. Whenever I have had a free moment, I will download a CD or browse some music and/or audiobooks. I am an apple addict and I am okay with it. B totally despises M@c and I can't believe he even bought it, but I guess my whining go to him and has paid off. I am in love with my new gadget, and combined with my noise-canceling headphones, it was a lifesaver on the plane ride to and from Las Vegas (nice segue, Deb).

Reason #3: I went to Las Vegas a few weeks ago and didn't have as good a time as I wanted because of the company I kept. I have decided that I am a terrible traveling/living companion and should not travel/live with anyone who is not bound to me by blood or law. I can co-exist with others who are not bound to me by blood or law for around 2-3 days as long as I have my own room. Otherwise, it's a bust. I spent a 24/7 week with a school colleague and, by day 3, I was taking my 10 minutes of stolen alone time to call B in a snit. I should be ashamed because my colleague is an incredibly nice, devoutly religious, non-judgmental person. It was just too much contact time with someone who doesn't know the real me. You know, the non-religious, crass, foul-mouthed, foodie who lives for a great meal and is willing to pay for it both literally and figuratively? The laziest person alive, who will also gladly tell you that you have a booger, pick your zit, and offer scathing, judgemental opinions about fashion faux pas on every street corner? Well, the true colors of my personality couldn't shine through for fear of offending or scandalizing the poor woman. It was too much time with a person who is fundamentally different on every level. Personally, I didn't plan to go to the city that never sleeps to find ways to save money, hit the sheets by 10:30, and spend hours walking in order to avoid paying for a cab - but I did. Oh the shows were good and the lights were amazing, but with a crappy hotel, only one really good meal, no privacy to poop, and no opportunity to see any showgirls, real gamblers, or drunk celebrities, I was ready to snap and thanked B profusely for my only escape (See Reason #3).

Reason #5: There is a really good chance that I am going back to Las Vegas with B in June. He's headed out for a conference and my goal is to wipe the slate clean. I plan to eat at good restaurants, gamble a good bit, see some showgirls, and stay at a hotel where the latest update took place in this century. I cannot wait to experience Vegas with B, my soul mate in filth.

Reason #6: Month 21 of LID is approaching on the 27th, and the discouragement and depression about our adoption is a consistently hovering black cloud. What's to say? At least the PTB have finally moved into 2006 - by 4 days. So, I am wondering if this means we should go ahead and renew our paperwork? We have put it off because, really, what's the point? Motivation to pursue anything adoption-wise is at an all-time low. This past weekend we gave C's old twin bed to my niece, Chubs, and ended up cleaning out a significant space in Ruby's to-be nursery. Sadly, doing this neither encouraged nor inspired B and me to begin planning how to decorate her nursery. In truth, we just shifted the Rubbermaid containers, extracted the bed, and shut the door on an almost empty room. A room that will stay that way for at least another year.

Don't know when I'll blog again, but next up will be an in-depth discussion of why I like Wednesdays best of all - just for Walternatives!

Why I Suck

Here's why I suck...

~I've been a little blue lately. This past week was our 15 month LID aniversary. I keep trying to tell myself that 15 is the halfway point, but it just seems like an endless stretch. The only really good news is that the Review Room is on a roll and has approved up through August DTC. With June, July, and August going through review in around 2 months, I am hoping that referrals start to encompass many more days.

~ Well, obviously the blog has not been updated with any relevant information in months.

~ It took me 2 months to mail out Secret Pal gifts. For one Secret Pal, the exchange had ended Aug 1. Yeah, I mailed it last Thursday.

~I also haven't thanked my SP for my latest gift - a book about mom being great, a drum, a rattle toy, and some pretend rattle keys. If you're reading SP, I think you're the bomb, and thanks for all of the goodies.

~ I can't find my camera cord to download any pictures of my SP gifts. I also received an awesome gift from Shelba today, and would love to display the super cool Icky bib and the Rock Star Pediped shoes. Goddammit. I love them both by the way.

~ I have been crappy sick for 2 weeks. I am finishing my second antibiotic and finally feel a little better. At least I don't sound like Froggy from the Little Rascals anymore.

~ I believe I bought a lemon. I have had my new car since May 7th, and so far I have had a flat tire, two scratches, a leak in the air conditioning, and replaced an inside door panel. Monday we are dropping it off to have another door panel replaced. It's getting old, people.

~ My nephew told me that I am the "coolest aunt ever," and then proceeded to point out my forehead wrinkles. He said they were "really big."

~ I went to see this movie with my friend Caroline today, and I made it through the first hour before hot footing it to the bathroom to puke up my popcorn and coke. The cinematography and editing was sped up, choppy, and basically looked like B's grandpa, who had Parkinson's, made a home movie. My motion sickness hit like a wave and I was gone. I had puke on my shirt, face, and in my hair. No, that's not embarrassing. Smelling like vomit I not only had to slink into the theater to tell Caroline I was leaving, I had to slink through the lobby. It was great. I cried for 20 minutes in the car before driving home to shower and brush my teeth.

Okay that's enough whining.

Here's a funny story...

The other night we (B, C, and me) were having a nice dinner at Rio when this family comes in and sits down in the front of the dining room. The only reason I noticed them was because it was a family with 4 boys.

As we were leaving B said, "Hey look whose here!"

C walked up behind the oldest boy, smiled, and said "Hi."

The boy looked at her from head to toe, turned blood red, and said "Wow, you've...you've changed."

C turned blood red and said, "Um, yeah."

Then they just stood there looking at each other and blushing. It took me a minute to realize that this was P, C's 'boyfriend' from her old school, which she left after second grade. The two of them hadn't seen each other for several years. B made small talk and I walked over to pay. I really didn't want C to see me cracking up at the middle school hormone surge.

A few minutes later, on our way to the car, C went on and on about seeing P; she was giddy with the gush/crush.

Finally she walked ahead of us and B turned to me and said. "What the hell was that? It was just so awkward!"

I started laughing and said, "The look on his face?"

B said, "Yeah, did he not recognize her?"

I said, "No honey, that was the 'Oh! You got your Boobies!' look."

I Should be Packing

I've been a little enmeshed in school and work lately. I should be packing for an overnight business trip for which I have to leave at the crrrack tomorrow, but instead I am typing and surfing.

The stress levels are pretty high. As a matter of fact I can feel the cortisol pumping up my abdomen as I type. When I get like this, I usually whip out a MeMe or a list. This time, you get a list of what's been happening...

1. Remember this post when I talked about how I ended up with a fever after buying my car? Well the fever's still lingering. I have been tracking it for over a month now and almost every evening around 5-6 I carry a low grade fever (99-100) for a few hours. Oh, and guess what? My doctor (the one I like) has moved out of the county! WTF? So when I went in about my fever a few weeks ago, I saw one of the other partners in the practice. He appears to be a very competent doctor, but he is so incredibly short. Short people don't bother me, but this guy is wee. So wee, that even though I was sitting on the reclining table and he was standing next to me, I had to bend over so he could look in my ears. I am only 5'6". I go back next week with my fever diary and we go from there. It's not my thyroid or my hormone levels, so we don't know what it may be. My gut says that it's arthritis. I hope it's arthritis and not something else. We'll see.

2. School is wearing me down, man. I have a pretty hardcore class this summer - Curriculum Theories. The dude who teaches this course has a rigid timeline - critique due one week; reflection due the next. Each critique of the individual theory is approximately 20-25 pages long with at least 15 resources, and the reflections are between 6-8 pages. It sucks hard. This week I am on a bit of hiatus because my group presents (for 3 hours) about our selected theory - Phenomenological Curriculum Theory. ZZzzzzzzzzzzzz....

3. C has been an absolute terror to her mother over the last few months. It's ugly and we are struggling to keep an even keel. Lots of crisis intervention and spending more time with her than usual. C's a very big 11 1/2 year old (5'4" and 14olbs - size 10 women's shoe!), and she's pretty much taken the bully route with her mom. Now, her mom's no petite wilted flower, but the woman is still recuperating from a pretty nasty bout of thyroid cancer. C's mom is also a weak disciplinarian; a yeller who never follows through with groundings or punishments. We don't have these issues at our house because C has always known the layout of our family dynamics from the beginning: We are a team, but I am the captain. Period. I refuse to mediate between the two, so B gets stuck in that role (too much lately). We just have to wait and see how things pan out.

4. I have only had my new car for a month and it already has a scratch. I don't know how it happened, but I am pissed. B's car was vandalized Friday night and now he's missing a back window on the driver's side. I am pissed about that as well, but not for the same reason. The scratch I know I did not do; however, B should know better to leave an empty laptop case in the backseat. GRR.

5. My niece Evie (aka Chubs, who is no longer chubby) has really warmed up to me lately. Every time I see her we have a blast with her latest - shaking hands. She'll come up and say, "Hi Debbie. Watch you doin'?" or "Hi Debbie, I Evie, Friend." I also get really sweet snooches when we say goodbye.

6. I am quite happy about the new seasons of Hell's Kitchen and Top Chef. Let's just say that Gordon Ramsey and Tom Collichio can be added to my Sexy Ugly Boys list.

I just noticed the "Aren't I a badass?" chin grasp they both have going on.

Consuming My Life, For Christie

I haven't been too busy to blog, I am just a little blue about this whole wait. Dang, it's discouraging. Our 7 month LID anniversary was this weekend, and we celebrated in the same fashion as the other months - not doing a damned thing. Matter of fact, I worked for about 4 hours.

Lately, about the only thing I am interested in is Reality TV. Not the State of the Union, not cool shows like Lost and Heroes (I watch them, but I am not on them like a starving dog on a Milk Bone). Oh, I have a lot going on with school, but as far as being interested in it? Meh. Since Christie demanded another post and I must cater to my fans, I am going to talk about the two things that are consuming my life right now...

Lets get the boring out of the way:

School
1. I have been really active in getting my committee solidified. One person did not work out, and it's for the best. In this situation, I'll believe in fate. My university has recently hired an adjunct I had for a couple of classes. Not only is this person fresh, she's really awesome. Plus she's totally quantitative, so if I have to do a mixed methods study for my dissertation, she's my man. She also bought a dozen boxes of Grrl Scout cookies from my niece. See, I told you she's awesome.

2. I have developed a very strong mentoring relationship with my chair. From the beginning I have really been into working with her, but she's an ace in the poker face. I wouldn't say she has a flat affect, but she's very, very guarded. A few weeks ago, the Dean (who is also on my committee) told me that she deliberates long and hard before agreeing to chair a committee and that she is very selective. What this means is, she likes me! She really likes me! I know that sounds a little weird, but this whole chair/committee building thing has been the bane of my existence for a while now. My confidence, when it comes to this issue, is pretty nonexistent.

3. The trip to Texas is on! I won't be telling when I am leaving, but I will post pictures when we are back. That is if I can find my cord to my camera. I had a slight panic attack over the reservation costs - B's registration was $350 alone! Yikes! My AmEx felt a serious dent to the tune of over $3000. I am so glad B is going with me. We will be reimbursed for everything but my meals. Well, I am glad he's going with me because he's supportive and a whole lotta fun, but still.

Television
1. I cannot wait for the Top Chef showdown on Wednesday. Oh yeah, Marcel is going to kick Ilan's ass! It's really a lesser of two evils situation, but I feel a little sympathy for Marcel. Yeah he's an asshole, but getting assaulted by Cliff and emotionally tortured by everyone else created a little warm spot in my heart for Marcel. I am also digging on his crazy hair. I am really digging on Tom Colicchio. He's a total Alpha Male. Has anyone noticed that Gail eats like she has peanut butter stuck to the roof of her mouth? I had to 8 second rewind the ghetto DVR twice to take a look at that action. Not so pretty. Also, the finale gets me a little closer to Project Runway 4. Come on Heidi and Tim! I'm getting antsy.

2. American Idol is killing me. Just get to the second phase already. It's so not cool to allow people with disabilities to stand there and make asses of themselves while the judges make fun of them. Granted, many of the contestants need a wake up call, and this is the place to get it. Right now I am not feeling anybody. Sundance is a good singer, but he needs to shave the pubes hanging from his chin. Gross. Oh yeah, Randy. I saw you when you toured with Journey's Raised on Radio tour. Can we say asymmetrical fade and red spandex? I remember. My eyes burned for weeks. Do. Not. Make. Fun. Big. Man. Because honestly? Red Spandex. Seriously.

3. The Apprentice: Ah, the Donald. How I love thee in a nonsexual way. Even though Ivanka is swanky and cool, I miss Caroline and her rabid dog smile. I was so sucked into the whole "An Apprentice First: Romance!" shtick. Well, basically it's Nicole thinking Tim is vibing on her. Sister, he might hit it while you're there, but outside of Apprentice La-La Land, you guys are no Rob and Amber.

4. Grease! You're the One That I Want: This show is beyond bad. Almost as bad a Celebrity Duets - I'll never forget the Hal Sparks/Wynona duet. I digress. The only reason I am watching is because my SIL K went all through school with Derek, I think he's the "Wholesome Danny." So all for keeping it real on the hometown success stories, I watched and voted. Once. Only once. Besides, his biggest competition is this freaky guy named Austin who looks like Harry Connick, Jr., has moves like David Copperfield, and is a huge narcissistic dork. I know, those two words are an oxymoron, but he really is a narcissistic dork. Another hometown success is Jen Garner. I think mom and I are going to support her massive career by seeing Catch and Release tomorrow evening at the 4 dollar flicks. I really don't give a rat's ass about Jen Garner, but I love me some Kevin Smith and Timothy Olyphant.

Interviewing Me

Quite often I have these weird third-person-like conversations with myself. Self-talk can be very encouraging or damaging. Most of mine consists of questions and answers that usually all end the same way. A sample...

Question (Q): Why is it that doctor's feel the need to be condescending?

Answer (A): Because you're an educated person and have enough sense to know that your doctor is being an asshole. You need to find a doctor you respect and right now, the only one is your GYN. Ask him to refer you to a less assholish doctor and you will be okay. Quit stressing over the fact that you have fired 3 doctors in the last year and a half and get a grip. *

Q: What's up with the nastiness on the WW message boards? You joined this program why?

A: You joined WW Online because you travel all the time; therefore the convenience of tracking online far exceeds any other negative factor that may be involved. You need to lose weight and this diet works for you. So far you are exercising every other day, have lost some weight, joined a better, more supportive fitness group, and physically feel better. It's a good thing, so get a grip!**

Q: How excited are you that B finally got a promotion and will be getting a significant pay increase?

A: Shitting myself excited. I am very, very proud of B, he's worked so hard for this promotion. We can pay off medical debt accumulated from infertility treatments that were not covered by insurance, get rid of our nasty aluminium siding and get vinyl, and create a budget that will allow me to eventually take a lower paying job that has less travel so I can be home with Ruby every. single. night! It's all good change, so you need to get a grip and take one thing at a time.

Q: Why haven't you been blogging?

A: I am lazy? I am busy with school and work? I just don't want to! Cant you tell I am still freaked out and nervous about the CCAI regs, even though we should be okay? I need to just get a grip and get over myself.

As you can see I spend a lot of time trying to stop my obsessing.

*Yes, I fired another doctor. I am beginning to see that a big part of the problem is me. I have a difficult personality that makes it hard for someone with a God Complex to accept. I question. Often. I believe I am getting a reputation for being a bad patient, and that's okay with me.

**I have been doing WW for 2 weeks, and I feel really good about it. For the first time, I want to stick with the plan. I am walking on my treadmill 4-5X a week and every time I do, I feel awesome. I may be singing a different tune in a few weeks, but we'll see. If I do, don't give me any shit.

Slacker

I've been around, just not blogging. Not because I haven't thought of things to talk about and not because I am sick, or tired, or worried about various sundry. Which, truthfully, I am. Regardless, I haven't been blogging because I am lazy. Something you should know about me by now.

Things here are fine. I have healed from the surgery, and have a little lip on the bottom part of my belly button. It's weird and I am hoping the scar will relax.

About a week after the surgery, I ended up with some funky low-grade fever thing that was just hanging around like an unwanted houseguest. In fear that I had some crazy infection from the surgery, I called and received a Rx for Cipro. I took my meds like a good patient. 3 days after finishing my meds I woke up to this really swollen place behind my ear that was sore, painful, and hot to the touch. It also felt like I had an ice pick in my ear. I went to my new doctor and she said I had Mastioditis - a bacterial infection in my Mastoid bone. As you know, this shit only happens to me. Very weird, but treatable. Mastoiditis used to be the leading killer of children, but with the advent of antibiotics, it's no longer a threat or even very common. It's also common in children, not adults. Oh well, it's weird and I have it.

A positive? The Cipro probably kept it from being as bad as it could have been, which would have entailed IV or a needle aspiration of the pus. GAG.

So I am on more antibiotics and I am fine. Home today, traveling for work for the next two weeks.

In other news -

1. We are going to Texas! My group's proposal for a symposium for a conference was accepted. That's really good news, BTW. To make it better, B is going with me. His work thought that the conference would be a good way for him to get more information about online learning, so no hotel fees for me! Being a hick, I have only flown once. I am a little freaked out, but I'll fake it and pretend I am worldly. I am a good faker.
2. I am slowly building my committee and program of study for my doc program. So far, my first choices are on board. One more to go before the holiday, so keep your fingers crossed he'll say yes!
3. C will be in Florida for the entire Christmas holiday. I cried for 3 days. She's really excited, but this will be our first Christmas without her. On a good note, this will be our first (and probably only) Christmas as a couple. B is planning something romantic to try to make me feel better about C being gone.
4. I am almost finished Christmas shopping. I have a few more items for my Secret Pal and stocking stuffers. That's it. I received $100.00 in retail gift cards from AmEx Membership Rewards, so spending those will be gravy.