What I've Been Doing

It is finished, defended, and approved. I am officially a All But Dissertation. This, my friends, is a very, very, good thing!

Really, this is the biggest news I have. Some other updates:

~ We still have no resolution with our homeowners insurance on the ceiling collapse in our dining room. A structural engineer came and did a review the same day as my portfolio defense. She seemed positive that the entire ceiling should be replaced because of the lack of plasterers in our living area. Especially a plasterer who can do horsehair plaster repair.

~ In the midst of our home improvement, I aggravated my abnormal hips (anterior tilt in my right pelvic bone), and locked up my right side. After grouting, yard work, 3 hours driving and 12+ hours in heels, I totally wrecked my lower back. I have seen my chiropractor daily, even over the weekend, and have been bed-fast since last Thursday. I can sit for 10 minutes and stand for 15. I have no idea how I am going to teach for 3 hours tonight, drive for 3 and teach for 3 tomorrow, and sit through 2 1/2 of class for me on Wed, and teach another 3 hours on Thurs. I am wearing a lovely support belt, which is SEXY, and taking 800 Ibuprofen and 1000 Tylenol. Right now, I am reclining in my bed on the heating pad. Believe me, the reclining became old about 3 hours into last Thursday. My hair is wrecked as well and I basically look like this:

Has It Really Been That Long?

Wow, it's hard to believe that it's been a month and a half since I last blogged about anything. I've had things going on, but I guess blogging about them hasn't really been in the forefront of my mind. I guess I'll continue my current MO of bullet updates and hopefully get back into blogging sometime in the future. Somehow I doubt this, but it sure sounds good.

~This is my last week at my current job, and truthfully, Friday can't come fast enough. I saw my last client today, and there were no bittersweet feelings associated with any of my "last" activities. I wonder what that says about me?

~The new job starts Monday and I am woefully unprepared. Not really, I am ready, but I think I'll feel this way until I get into the groove

~About every 2-3 months I have been getting these lingering sinus infections. I am currently on day 10 of my current one, and it has totally whipped my ass. Since this time last year, I have been on: 10 antibiotics, 2 decongestants, 2 cough medications, an antihistamine, a nasal spray, had 2 steroid shots, a CT scan, a chest x-ray, and use a Neti Pot regularly. I have pretty severe allergies to grasses, plants, trees, and molds. My theory is that I have this, which makes total sense, since molds and fungus cause my most severe reactions. I am currently waiting on an ENT appointment, and am at the point where I will welcome the surgical scrape to get rid of this shit.

~I finished my final course and have now entered the dissertation phase of my doctorate. I am planning to defend my portfolio in early September and will officially be a candidate.

~We have a leak in our bathtub which has caused our 80 year old horsehair plaster dining room ceiling to collapse. We have to have the plumber 'diagnose' our problem and then our homeowners insurance will pay to repair the ceiling. All of that plaster dust and leaky residue is surely contributing to my sinus issues. Dammit.

~I had an 80s Karaoke birthday party last week for my 37th birthday. We totally rocked the face off the 80s music. B and I duetted to Bon Jovi's Dead or Alive. It was awesome. I will post pictures as soon as I can. The cake alone is worth seeing.

~ The latest addition to our family was born 2 days later. Mr. Jonah Brian (JB) is now comfortably at home nursing the night away. He's the first kid in 2 generations to be born with hair, which is a pretty amazing feat considering most of us were bald until at least 2. I've only seen pictures because I have been too sick to be around him.

~ Michael Phelps is KICKING ASS!

~ Our agency told us to hold off completing the I-800. We let our 171-H expire (long story), and have to re-file. The worker told us to just wait for a while, which is pretty freaking discouraging. 25 months and counting.

Blogger's Strike

I guess I decided to take a little hiatus there for a while. Just like the WGA's neverending strike, I decided to walk the picket line of blogging. No writing for me, and I am okay for it. I have been reading other blogs regularly (addiction is hard), but I haven't had a whole lot to say that's been positive. Truthfully, I still don't have a whole lot to say that's positive, except, maybe, I'm back?

Regardless, I haven't abandoned the whole blogging "thing," I've just been a little down, a little lazy, and a little busy. The bottom line is that I've been up to a whole lot of Woe and not enough Awesome.

Since I am subjecting you anyway, I'll alternate the Woe with the Awesome.

WOE ~ I have gained weight, which is something I could not afford to do. I just saw a picture of myself holding Caroline's new baby (AH!), and it wasn't so pretty (EW). Gravity and chins don't mix. I believe it's my thyroid acting up. I have lost a considerable amount of hair, which is distressing in itself, and I have the energy of a garden slug. Too bad, a nice dip in beer wont shrivel me some.

AWESOME ~ I am going to Vegas in a few weeks. I am pretty excited since I've never been. I have tickets to see Mama Mia and I am hoping to get my classmate to go to Mesa Grill. I know my boyfriend Bobby won't be there, but it's close enough.

WOE ~ C is doing somewhat better. The outbursts have been farther apart, which means the medication cocktail is working. She has also gained some weight, well her's has been considerable, which is sadly a side-effect of her meds. Grades have improved, but her friendships have tanked. She has made 2 "best friends" this year so far, and both have bailed on her because she's so pushy/intrusive. She and I talk about giving space and growing friendships A LOT, but she just doesn't get that best friendships need time and space to develop. Being friends with C is a little like that cartoon where the little dog keeps jumping over the big dog. I think you know which one she is. She's just trying way too hard.

AWESOME ~ We have decided to join our local Y because of this Winter Bear packing we've all gone through, and we're making it our Valentine's to each other. We've been talking about it for a while now, and it is definitely time for all of us to go. My final inspiration was this gal - if she can get up at 4:00 to swim, I can get up at 6:30 to do the elliptical.

WOE ~ We have to take our taxes to an accountant for the first time ever. I am not excited about it even though she seems perfectly pleasant and we have nothing to worry about.

AWESOME ~ I am working on an amazing international project for my qualitative research class. I don't want to say too much about it here, but trust me it's awesome. I am so flattered to be a part of such a big deal.

WOE ~ We just had our 19 month LID anniversary. Could this one be the halfway mark? What got me in the gut was when I had to change my email/Yahoo signature from "LID 6/27" to "LID 6/27/06." That was hard.

AWESOME ~ Finally, I am hopefully making some changes in my life within the next few months, and I'll be blogging all about it. I don't make New Year's resolutions, but I am hoping a change is gonna come.

Still Kicking

I'm not going to lie and say that things around here have gotten any less stressful, because they haven't. I am limping through trying to get back on track.

~The fever issue turned out to be a pretty serious case of strep, which I've never had in my life. Not the Strep Throat kind, but a systemic kind. Weird, I know. The massive dose of antibiotics seems to be helping, and I am starting to fell less like a zombie in the evenings. I am glad, bacause I was really starting to worry.

~C is still being a total shit, and this weekend was no exception. She and her mom were doing better for a while, but this weekend was a bust. On Friday, C's mom and her got a wild hair up their asses to dye her hair hot, electric pink. Yeah. It was supposed to be highlights, but turned into a Run Lola Run look that was pretty freaking nasty. It ended up frying her hair and, because I'm always the bad guy, on Saturday I ended up taking her to the salon for repair. Well, I am not shelling out 100+ bucks for her mom's stupid ass mistake, so she left the salon with a very short, Kiera Knightly type do, which was a shock to her system because her hair was past her shoulders. Many tears have occurred since then, but I believe a lesson was learned by C, which is this (I hope) "My mom has no sense of socially appropriate fashion/beauty, so listening to her wild schemes to 'do something cool' should be weighed heavily before I agree to them." Personally, I think the cut, which got out a lot of the pink along with copious shampoos with Dawn dish liquid, looks uber-cute and is she finally looks like the adolescent she's supposed to be.

~School is still whipping my ass. I completed my phenomenology presentation with my group. We lost some points (14) because we didn't do the juvenile "Let's play Jeopardy!" type presentation and felt that since the class has critiqued and reflected on the topic, they wouldn't need a regurgitation of theorists. He offered us an opportunity to make a chart for the class (like the other two groups have already done) and we turned it down. We are standing together on this one. Besides, we all have bonus points in the bank, so our grades weren't affected. I moved onto postructuralism, which was even more confusing than the other, but must have gotten something from it, because I did well on my critique. One more to go.

~ I am insanely jealous because the Georgia Bloggy Bash is coming up, and I am saving the bulk of my leave time for our beach trip in August and for a fall weekend get together of the Tiara Girls. I just couldn't take an extra 3-4 days off. Boo. Hiss. It would have also been a 2-for-1 because I could have gone to see/visit my friend Kathy and her family (including the newest addition of Mr. S.). Dang. So, I am taking a day trip with my mom to see Wicked in Columbus. We leave today and come back tomorrow. We always have a good time, and I am stoked to see the musical. I think I need a little break.

~B and I marked one year LID on the calendar on the 27th. To us, it was just another day in hundreds that are slowly moving along. I think I would feel better if we could just hear something positive. Send good vibes for a clean Review Room evaluation. Perhaps if we get through the RR, I can begin to see a pinpoint of light at the end of this long tunnel.

Victim

I work for a private company that contracts with public programs. A little confusing, but it works. Prior to this job, I never had to deal with performance evaluations and merit increases. The state or non-profit company I worked for at the time would do an across the board cost-of-living increase every year or so and everyone got the same thing. Now, I go through a 3 step process that involves self-evaluation, discussion, and eventual merit increase based on performance. I just had my final meeting last week and did better than I expected, so the mood was high when I called the automatic teller to check my direct deposit amount. The AT gave a balance first. I have been a little lax in the checkbook balancing, so I opted to hear the last 10 transactions because I had no idea how much of that balance was my paycheck and how much was left over from last time. Here's what I heard:

Withdraw 4/19 10.59
Withdraw 4/19 10.59
Withdraw 4/19 10.59
Withdraw 4/19 10.59
Withdraw 4/19 10.59
Withdraw 4/19 10.59
Direct Deposit 4/19 $$$$$$$ (Did you really think I was going to tell you how much I get paid?)
Withdraw 4/19 23.05
Withdraw 4/19 10.59
Withdraw 4/19 10.59

After the first couple of repeats of, "Withdraw 4/19 10.59," I thought maybe the computer had a glitch. Wrong. I called my local branch and found out that someone used my debit card to purchase copious amounts of memberships to a couple of different online retailers. The bank immediately blocked the card and told me to come in to take care of the paperwork. We discovered that the bulk of the transactions took place with 2 retailers I never use (they shall remain nameless because I will not promote them even negatively). One would think that after 17 purchases on the same day, using the same credit/debit card number, someone would be suspicious. Nope. They pushed them all through.

Between Friday, Saturday, and Tuesday I filled out 35 affidavits for 35 transactions and I am currently waiting for the bank to refund around 400 bucks. Everyone at the bank knows me by name now, due to the serious amount of quality time I spent with Brent, the bank manager. I believe Brent may name his second child after me.

You know what made me the maddest? The fact that the criminal didn't go for the big stuff. Penny-ante shit at 10 or 6 dollars a shot x 35. What a waste of time.

My theory is - If you're going to violate someone, be a real criminal, not a petty thief. At least when you go to jail, you'll have something to brag about.

Random Ramble**updated

I am sick. Again. I really don't want to be one of those bloggers who bitches about how crappy they feel and how sick they are all the time, but I really am sick. Again. I didn't think the human head had the capacity to hold gallons of snot. Gallons. Well, I was wrong. My nose is completely raw and cracked and bleeding. Yes, I am lovely. One good thing about it is that the appetite is gone. Never thought I would say that. I really believe it is viral, so it just has to run it's course. And run. And run. And run. You get the point.

As you can see from my previous post, I am crushing pretty hard on John Mayer right now. I loved his Ryan Seacrest slam on the pre-Grammys show when RS quizzed him about Jessica Simpson. Those lips, that voice, those lips, the sense of humor, the tattoo, those lips... Oh yeah, I also love his music. It's not just a physical love. My friend Thea and I saw him with Maroon 5 a few years ago. He is awesome live. Better actually.

I am currently waiting on the cable guy. Our cable company can't make set appointments, so it's an all day appointment or nothing. Basically I have to hang out all day and wait for this guy (or girl) to show up. Not that I mind, I am feeling rotten. I just hope he isn't repulsed by the state of my nose or the ten thousand used tissues that have multiplied faster than Gremlins and have exploded around the house. The VS channel (some sports thing) is bleeding through on Food Network. That's bad. I only watch daytime TV when I am sick, and I only watch the Food Network. I hate all of those crappy daytime talk shows and soap operas, so having some dudes playing tennis superimposed over Giada is not a good thing. **Two dudes arrived and over the course of an hour and a half they replaced all of our cable lines and our modem. They said our cable lines were incredibly old and starting to fray. Also, because it was them and not us - the call was free. Cool. Ina's kitchen is so bright and shiny, I might have to wear shades!

My new dryer was delivered Friday. The washing machine was damaged, so it had to be returned. It will be delivered in the next week or so along with the pedestals that elevate the machines and have storage space. So for now I am using my ghetto washer and fabulous dryer. The difference - one super load in the wash is a medium load in the dryer, and what used to take 2 hours to dry now takes 34 minutes. 34 minutes. I am in love.

So, The Police are touring again. I have seen Sting, but never The Police. They actually came to our little state back in 1983. The Synchronicity tour. I had a choice to see them or Duran Duran. I was 12, so take a wild guess at which concert I chose. Regrets? No. I was a Duranie and will always be a Duranie. Back off. B went to both concerts because he was spoiled. He refuses to tell anyone besides me that he went to Duran Duran. Ha! His secret is out! The Police is B's favorite band ever, so if I can get tickets, perhaps we will see you at the Philadelphia show. **Doubtful - as wzirl says, the tix are thousands of doll-hairs. Umm, we have a big old trip to China to pay for, so see you on the flip side Sting.

Finally, today is Krista's birthday. Go over and wish her well. She's snowed in, so I am sure she'll be perusing blogs and email all day in between naps. Krista is a great broad, and I mean that in the kindest, elevated to status of we-could-be-great-friends way. She's crafty, smart, supportive and kind. She's a crack shot, super investigator, penguin fanatic and has much, much love for her friends and family. Go on! Get over there and wish her a good one!

Interviewing Me

Quite often I have these weird third-person-like conversations with myself. Self-talk can be very encouraging or damaging. Most of mine consists of questions and answers that usually all end the same way. A sample...

Question (Q): Why is it that doctor's feel the need to be condescending?

Answer (A): Because you're an educated person and have enough sense to know that your doctor is being an asshole. You need to find a doctor you respect and right now, the only one is your GYN. Ask him to refer you to a less assholish doctor and you will be okay. Quit stressing over the fact that you have fired 3 doctors in the last year and a half and get a grip. *

Q: What's up with the nastiness on the WW message boards? You joined this program why?

A: You joined WW Online because you travel all the time; therefore the convenience of tracking online far exceeds any other negative factor that may be involved. You need to lose weight and this diet works for you. So far you are exercising every other day, have lost some weight, joined a better, more supportive fitness group, and physically feel better. It's a good thing, so get a grip!**

Q: How excited are you that B finally got a promotion and will be getting a significant pay increase?

A: Shitting myself excited. I am very, very proud of B, he's worked so hard for this promotion. We can pay off medical debt accumulated from infertility treatments that were not covered by insurance, get rid of our nasty aluminium siding and get vinyl, and create a budget that will allow me to eventually take a lower paying job that has less travel so I can be home with Ruby every. single. night! It's all good change, so you need to get a grip and take one thing at a time.

Q: Why haven't you been blogging?

A: I am lazy? I am busy with school and work? I just don't want to! Cant you tell I am still freaked out and nervous about the CCAI regs, even though we should be okay? I need to just get a grip and get over myself.

As you can see I spend a lot of time trying to stop my obsessing.

*Yes, I fired another doctor. I am beginning to see that a big part of the problem is me. I have a difficult personality that makes it hard for someone with a God Complex to accept. I question. Often. I believe I am getting a reputation for being a bad patient, and that's okay with me.

**I have been doing WW for 2 weeks, and I feel really good about it. For the first time, I want to stick with the plan. I am walking on my treadmill 4-5X a week and every time I do, I feel awesome. I may be singing a different tune in a few weeks, but we'll see. If I do, don't give me any shit.

6 Months - Yay (not).

Today marks 6 months that we've been Logged In with the CCAA. 6 months in a wait that is fraught with anxiety and tension now that the new regulations have been confirmed. If they go retroactive we are out. The medical regulations will slam us to the ground. This is the reason I haven't been blogging - I am way too down. Sorry for those 3 or 4 that follow our journey. It wasn't a planned break, it just sort of happened. I am scared, anxious, depressed and my fate is in unseen hands. For a control freak, that's pretty hard.

We chose China because I am a control freak. After months of research, we chose China because the process is/was so streamlined and secure. Granted this isn't the only reason, but it did play a part. We wanted as close to a guarantee as we could get. Well, hello Karma! Is that you biting me on the ass?

With the way things stand now, we could be pushed back for weeks or months, denied a referral, or granted the joy of our lives. It's all in the air and I hate, hate, hate the way it's making me feel. I just can't cry anymore. Goddammit.