If You're Happy and You Know it, Clap Your...

I have to say my Mountain Girls weekend was one of the best I have ever had. I can't say much because what's said in the Mountain House stays in the Mountain House.
Top Ten Highlights include:
1. A formation of the "Tiara Girls" club. Memberships are being accepted, but the criteria for entry is fierce.
2. Shannon 1 is the CEO of the LSKs.
3. Shannon 2 and I share a deep love of reading and chatted at length about books - something I don't get to do very often.
4. If we get bad service, we don't tip.
5. Must get a pug NOW.
6. Interpretive dance is so worth watching, especially after several 16 ounce mojitos.

7. Mountain driving takes on a new meaning when you have 4 women in the car singing along to Madonna's Crazy for You.
8. Luke! You are our waiter...
9. Yes, grown ups get pimples, and even though we were together less than 72 hours, I am sure our cycles are synchronized. It was just that much bonding.
10. I have made girlfriends for life - same time next year? Count me in.
The Shannons
Susan and Me


Room of Snark
The Princesses of the Tiara Girls
Yes, I really do wear shoes like these!

Okay is it me?

Or is Joey Lawrence trying to cash in on the Chris Daughtry sultry bald man look?
Ewwwww! He looks incredibly creepy. Dead eyes, man. Serial Killer Dead.

Leave The Light On

As much as I travel for my job, you would think I wouldn't want to spend my weekend traveling. Well, most weekends you would be correct. Not so this time; I am getting ready to head down to over and down the mountains to visit my bloggy posse - Susan, Shannon 1, and Shannon 2. I am so excited I am ready to slap myself.
When I return pictures galore, bloggy news, and all about the fun, fun, fun we're gonna have!

Bunny Love

If you haven't figured it out by now, I am a TV hussy. I love evening TV and watch as much of it as I can. I have ghetto TiVo (DVR) and spend lots of time watching silly things that only I enjoy. Nevertheless, I think everyone would enjoy the 30 Second Bunny Flicks by Angry Alien that are showcased on Starz. My favorites include "Brokeback Mountain" and "Pulp Fiction." Check them out.

Relieved

See that image ladies and gents? That, my pals, means that I finally have a chair for my doctoral committee. If you are unfamiliar with the process, basically it means that I finally have a mentor that will help me navigate the dissertation process and finish the last leg of my program.
To me, asking someone to chair my committee was a little like proposing - stressful, anxiety-inducing, and immensly relieving when she said yes. All is well in the land of Deb.

Ho-Hum

Disclaimer: I am incredibly predictable and oftentimes have very little to discuss. Therefore, I have adopted the need to cut and paste memes from other people's blogs. Furthermore, I am inherently lazy and will not forward things like these to anyone; thus guaranteeing that I will most likely never be tagged by another blogger in the future. So, here we go...

1. FIRST NAME? Debra
2. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? No, my parents truly believed that I was going to be a boy and had full intentions of naming me Dwight (thank God I was female) and had not chosen a girl's name. My mother says when she looked at me she said "Debbie her name is Debbie." They chose Debra because they felt Debbie was a better nickname.
3. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY? Yesterday.
4. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? Yes I do. I have very nice print and cursive handwriting, especially for a leftie.
5. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCHMEAT? Pastrami
6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? I think so. Sometimes I am a bad friend, so my expectations for my being my friend would be low.
7. DO YOU HAVE A JOURNAL? Just the blog and sometimes it's a chore; see disclaimer
8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Yes and they are disgusting harbors of infection and other gross things I am choosing not to discuss
9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? Get real. No. Gravity is good.
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? I am not really a cereal person. Occasionally I will eat Smart Start. I do like the Fruit Cheerios, they're pretty tasty once in a while.
11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? No. There are few times I wear shoes that have laces. I have to dress for work so I wear sandals, pumps, or dressier casual shoes most of the time. On the weekends in the winter I'll wear sneakers, but I don't untie them.
12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? Physically, no. To use the words of my coworker Tami, "I have the upper body strength of a kitten." Emotionally, yes.
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR? I like Strawberry, Strawberry from Baskin Robbins. I also like Ben & Jerry's Pistachio, Pistachio. What's up with the double titles? I really love popsicles.
14. SHOE Size? Depends on the shoe. I go from 8 1/2 to 10.
15. RED OR PINK? Definitely Red
16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? My legs. I also worry constantly.
17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? My friend Alicia. We are both very busy living our lives right now, but that doesn't mean I don't think about/worry about her.
18. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? Gray gauchos, bare toes.
19. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? The hum of the laptop fan.
20. WHERE IS THE ONE PLACE YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE RIGHT NOW? Although, I'm pretty comfortable right here, I wish we were in China.
21. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Royal Purple. It is dark and rich and represents lushness.
22. FAVORITE SMELL? Sesame oil, the back of B's neck, and Wrigley's spearmint gum.
23. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? B. I called him to come out to the car and carry in groceries.
24. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE YOU ARE ATTRACTED TO? Their teeth and clothing.
25. FAVORITE DRINK? Coffee
26. FAVORITE SPORT? Not a fan. If I were forced to watch any it would be men's swimming or women's gymnastics.
27. WHATS YOUR FAVORITE COLOR? Purple, green, and red
28. HAT SIZE? I don't know.
29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? Very infrequently. I have an astigmatism and very abnormal vision in both eyes. Contacts mess with my depth perception.
30. FAVORITE FOOD? A big fat cheeseburger. My mom's Cajun chicken pasta. BLTs, and creamed tomatoes with buttermilk pan bread.
31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? Happy endings.
32. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? White Hanes
33. SUMMER OR WINTER? Winter, I love to walk in the snow.
34. HUGS OR KISSES? Hugs. Kisses are reserved for the one who is worthy.
35. FAVORITE DESSERT? Cake
36. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING? None. It's hard to believe, but I am not reading anything. I am hitting the library today before C's football game. I just finished listening to "The Cover of Night" by Linda Howard. Don't waste your time.
37. WHAT'S ON THE MOUSE PAD? My finger.
38. WHAT DID YOU WATCH LAST NIGHT ON TV? "Chicago" and parts of ''The Big Lebowski."
39. WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE SOUNDS? Mail coming through my mail slot; B & C laughing and making up silly songs.
40. THE FURTHEST YOU'VE BEEN FROM HOME? Florida.
41. WHAT ARE YOUR SPECIAL TALENTS? I am a pretty good singer. I can also cook well.
42. AND WHERE WERE YOU BORN? Charleston, West Virginia.
43. WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? I actually swiped it from Krista and Connie.
44. WHAT DAY IS IT? Sunday

All About the Idols

Thirteen Things about The American Idol Concert 1. Ace Young is so much hotter in person than he ever was on television. Oh man, he's beautiful. I needed a fan. I am a fan. 2. Don't ever assume that you'll be able to see things on the large screens most concerts provide. For some reason the most visible screen hosted pictures of flames, the moon and other nonsensical items. I would much rather have seen close ups of Ace's abs and lovely Crest smile. 3. There are people out there who love to sing, but can't. If you are one of them, do the person in front of you the courtesy of not screaming every lyric to every song. Sing softly so that people won't hear that you have absolutely no ability to hit one note in tune. 4. Katherine McPhee is just stunning. She looks like a young, thin Linda Rondstadt. She sings almost as well. 5. Taylor Hicks is awfully cute, but when standing next to Ace, he doesn't have a chance. 6. I was as giddy as C and my niece Lauryn when Elliot Yamin came on stage. He's a phenomenal performer. I heart Elliot. 7. Little girls can only handle so much excitement before they become emotional and cranky. We hit our excitement quota about 9:20. It was all downhill from there. 8. Kelly Pickler is just a shame on the face of womanhood. All I'm sayin.' 9. I loved the fact that there were people of all ages in the audience. We were surrounded by moms, dads, children, and grandparents. It was a family-style love fest. 10. Taking two pre-teens to a concert is a superior act of kindness and patience. I should be commended for both. 11. Seeing the looks of awe, excitement, and extreme pleasure on the faces of C and Lauryn was worth every dime spent. 12. Chris Daughtry is going to be a mega rock star. I have not heard that type of squealing and screaming since Duran Duran in 1983. 13. Did I mention that Ace Young is smoking hot? Oh, yeah...he is! Links to other Thursday Thirteens!1. (leave your link in comments, I'll add you here!)

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The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. ItÂ’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!
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Warming Up for Tomorrow's Concert

C had a brief brush with fame this evening. While out dining with her mom and brother, she noticed this cute boy down the way. Well, being any red-blooded pre-teen she immediately was in his business. Autographs, pictures, and giggling excited phone calls ensued.

I guess she's ready for the concert tomorrow, huh?

Welcome Back

New Season of Nip/Tuck. Hello Lovah.

The Dictator in my Head

I am still being a state traveler, so blogging may be sporadic. Actually, that's just an excuse for being lazy and somewhat discouraged with the whole referral process. 9 Freaking Days. All I'm saying. Grrrrr.

I try to fill my time with work, school (which is going well, thanks), prepping a proposal to hopefully present at this conference, getting excited for my trip to meet Shannon 1, Shannon 2 and to see Susan again, reading other people's blogs, thinking about gifts for my Secret Pals, and making lists of the things I need to do before my surgery in November. But it's still there. A constant whisper in my ear

... 9 days, new restrictions, 9 days, years of waiting, 9 days, rejection, 9 days, what if? 9 days...

It's in my head when I travel, when I shop, when I am driving and listening to this (which is terrible) and this (which is great). It's my mantra. Over and over, the broken record of a little Chinese devil that unfortunately looks like this guy, who's not even Chinese!

I am taking suggestions for anything else that can fill my time and get this guy off my back. Any takers?

Revelations from the Road

I just wanted to let everyone know I have been traveling out and about my great state. I can't really discuss work, but in general I have been forced to enjoy the pleasure of my own company.
During this time I have learned that...
~I have become comfortable eating in restaurants alone. In the past, I have had some anxiety about this because I felt like people are watching me/feeling sorry for me. Now I know bringing a book helps pass the time. Eating alone is no longer a big deal. Besides, these people will never see me again, so who really cares?
~I enjoy going to movies by myself. One evening last week I went to the dollar movies and had a blast! It was a weeknight, so there weren't too many people in the audience. I bought a drink, sat back, and enjoyed absorbing myself in the flick for 2 hours. No worries about bathroom breaks, conversation, or sharing popcorn.
~Chatting on the hotel phone is pretty fun. No one to interrupt your conversation with their commentary. Thanks to Shannon for making the evenings go by a little more quickly and a lot more fun.
~The Hampton Inn is a sure thing. They are always clean, have 24 hour fresh coffee in the lobby, and they have new beds; you get to sleep in a mound of comfort.
~I can go hours without making a sound. When I have to answer the phone or say something after this respite, my voice sounds like I have been napping. It's kind of breathy and scratchy. Weird.
~Wireless connection keeps you sane.
~I miss B terribly. We would have loads of fun if we were traveling together, but he's at home and I am out. After a day, I am ready to be back home with him. Being away has brought appreciation for my marriage and our relationship to the forefront of my attention. My love for him gets stronger every day I am away.

Kickin' It

Yesterday was the Chemical Valley's Midget League Football Association's Annual Kick-off Classic. Yes, we live in a chemical valley. We could experience a Bopal, India incident at any time; yet we choose to live here with hundreds of thousands of other people. Wonder what that says about all of us?

Basically the Kick-off Classic is the beginning of the midget league football season, as well as C's first foray into the world of cheerleading. She did a great job practicing and participating despite the incredible heat. Unfortunately, she and I both got too hot and had to bail before the second game. Nevermind the fact that the games were running over an hour behind and it was 1000 degrees hot. Sunburned and sweaty, I made the call when she polished off her fifth bottle of water. She felt terrible leaving her only other teammate, Madison, but we were all sick from the sitting in the hot sun all day. As you can see in the pictures she's giving it her best.

13 Things You Were Dying to Know

Thirteen Things about Debra Sue 1. Sue is no longer my middle name. I dropped it when B and I were married and assumed my maiden name as my middle name. 2. I am a reality TV show whore and I am not ashamed. I watch Treasure Hunters, Big Brother All-Stars, Rock Star: Supernova, Project Runway, and Hell's Kitchen. I can't wait for the new season of The Apprentice. 3. I refuse to live in a house in which someone has died - this is an extreme phobia of mine. 4. I am bitter and disappointed that having a child has been 7-8 years in the making. 5. I really don't like chocolate candy. I will eat chocolate cake and ice cream, but a piece of chocolate candy makes my throat feel full of phlem. Gross. 6. I have extreme flatulation issues. I have never consciously passed gas in front of B. It is the one thing in the world that can totally embarrass me, so please don't fart in my presence. 7. I love B's hands. They are my favorite part of his body. They are wonderful. 8. Audiobooks are the best. I love listening to them while I am driving. I travel an incredible amount and listening to a book on CD helps pass the boring driving hours. 9. When I was 5 I was diagnosed with ADHD. My pediatrician wanted to medicate me, but my parents refused. I did not make my first A until I was in the 10th grade. I have learned to cope. As an adult I have developed my career around working with people who have mental illness or mental retardation. I think my childhood issues have had a direct effect on every aspect of my life - for the best. 10. There is something in my brain that helps me memorize insane amounts of celebrity and pop culture trivia like a savant. What's worse is I will talk about celebrities and their lives as if they are close friends of mine. 11. I am crushing so hard on Julian MacMahon from Nip/Tuck. My God that man is beautiful. 12. I would really love to know who should play me in a movie of my life. I already know who would play B, C, my mom, my dad, my brother, and my SIL. I just can't get who will play me. If you say Camryn Manheim I will never, ever speak to you again. 13. I will not drink milk. To me, milk tastes metallic like blood. I will drink half & half in my coffee, but sometimes I can taste the metallic blood flavor. The colder it is, the more metallic it tastes.

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. ItÂ’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!
View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

Traveling

So the "extensive travel" part of my job starts this evening. I'll be out on the road for the next 4 days.

My Secret Pal Rocks!

How cool is my Secret Pal? I am especially smitten with the "My Daddy is a Rock Star" onsie. B is going to flip when he sees it! Apparently my Secret Pal has been paying attention.

It was so great to come home from a exhausting week of traveling and working to find this package on my porch. At first I thought it was some books I ordered from Amazon, but low and behold a box of goodies, a lovely poem and a birthday wish for me! Thanks Secret Pal, you're awesome!

I cannot even begin to tell you how hard it is not to look at that postmark. The box is in the garbage and there it shall remain!

Those Partridges Have Nothin' on Us!

One of the traits B and I share is the family value of eating at the dinner table. Every night, whether C is home or not, we sit and share a meal. Well, tonight was no different even though the last 2 weeks have been hard. My work has been insane, B is gearing up for fall semester and a new crop of freshly minted M.D.s, fragile egos and all, and C has cheer practice 4 nights a week. So tonight we were all slap-happy tired. Toward the end of the meal, C decided she wanted the pepper from the pizza box and asked me to hand it to her. I handed it over, and said, "Here, take it." Well, from that point it was on, because another common trait B and I share is the ability to find a song in every situation. B immediately jumped up from the table and began singing REO Speedwagon's Take it on the Run. I promptly followed suit, and soon we were dancing around the kitchen like we were in junior high, singing at the top of our lungs. C was torn between cracking up and being totally mortified. REO Speedwagon segued right into Lights by Journey, then onto Renegade by Styx (at which point C was begging us to a) stop embarrassing her and b) pleading with us to stop before the sisters next door called the police). Nevertheless we persevered and had her singing right along for the grand finale of We are the Champions by Queen. Breathless, we all collapsed at the table and laughed our butts off. Now that's what I call a family dinner.

Late Birthday Highlights

I've been a little busy lately. So busy in fact, I forgot to post about my birthday! Last Thursday, August 3, was my 35th birthday and I finally wrapped up the celebration on Sunday. Once I find my cord to download pics, I'll post some. Until then, here are some highlights...

~Got a surprise cake at work from my pal Arlene. I was so excited by said cake, I forgot about taking a picture until it was 2/3 way gone.
~Received 2 copies of the same CD from Lori and Caroline. It's refreshing to know they listen to me when I am obsessing.
~Got a super-duper handmade crafty card from my pal Shannon.
~Did not get my awesome bike. It's retired. Dammit! B worked diligently to find it to his great disappointment and mine.
~Got a new game to take with me on my upcoming trip to N.C. to see my e-pals Shannon 1, Shannon 2, and Susan. It is on, ladies.
~My momma made me my favorite breakfast, creamed tomatoes and biscuits, and my favorite cake, Sunshine Cake on Sunday.

I am so Hot the Back of My Head is Throbbing

So today I walked into the house after dropping C off at cheerleading practice and almost had a heart attack when I felt the heat slap me in the face. Panic set in as I waded through the heat and humidity to look at my thermometer. 80 degrees - in the house. I immediately thought, "Oh shit, the air is out." I decided to try to push the button down to see if it would kick on. As I did, the set temperature flashed 86. What the hell? We never, ever, ever adjust the thermometer in the house. It stays on 72 all summer and 70 in the winter. I learned this from my best friend's mom when we were kids. Connie instilled the fear of her wrath if Kathy or I were to ever touch the gauge. Connie could sense it from 15 miles away if that needle moved even 1/16th of an inch.
As I am resetting the thermometer and the air kicks on at warp speed, both cats run to a respective vent and crash, dizzy from the heat. I call B at work who proceeds to tell me that C said she was cold this morning so she reset the temperature "a little bit." Yeah right. Now I am sitting here in a t-shirt and panties in my living room because it's so hot upstairs it's hard to breathe. She'd better be thankful I have BB7 on Ti-vo and she's spending the night with her mom (in the air-conditioned comfort of her bedroom, of course). Punk ass kid. A little bit, my sweaty ass.

My Summer of Reality (T.V.)

I know, I know I have been MIA lately. Well, I've been busy dammit. So far this month I have...

1. Driven over 2000 miles - all within my state.
2. Just spent 2 hours in the sweltering heat watching 52 little girls do cartwheel after cartwheel. Cheerleading season has begun.
3. Ate at a restaurant where a woman was eating with her right hand and swatting flies with a lime green flyswat with her left hand. She never stopped eating. This is totally true!I.Swear.My.Hand.To.God.And.The.Baby.Jesus.
4. Finished all assignments for my summer class, but have not finished writing/developing the class I am creating for my portfolio.
5. Saw Clerks II and laughed so much I think I peed a little.
6. Have made a decision about school - if the person I have asked to chair my committee refuses, I am either a) dropping out or b) switching programs to a Master's in Teaching and calling it a day. Okay, she's really the only person I have asked sincerely, but it's so stressful. It's like being in 4th grade and telling [insert hottest boy name here] to "go with" you.
7. Written copious amounts of emails to Shannon.
8. Joined several Yahoo DTC groups and will probably be spending 50+ bucks a month on Secret Pal gifts. What was I thinking?
9. Broke up with my hairdresser and went to the salon under my office. Nice job. No pics yet.
10. Watched way too many episodes of BB7, Rock Star Supernova, Project Runway, What Not to Wear, and Hell's Kitchen.
11. Researched bicycles to find the perfect present for B to buy me for my birthday. I am really stuck on this one.

The Electra June

I Have Been Tagged

I have been tagged by wzgirl for the first time in the year I have been blogging! So here goes...

7 THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE I DIE:
1. Sing the Blues in a smoky bar
2. Go to Ireland
3. Plan my daughter's wedding
4. Finish my doctorate
5. Retire to Alaska
6. See the Pyramids
7. Write a novel

7 THINGS I CAN NOT DO:
1. Swim
2. Run a mile
3. Kill a person or animal
4. Knit
5. Compromise my personal ethics
6. French braid
7. Read music

7 THINGS I CAN DO:
1. Sing well
2. Cook well
3. Roller skate
4. Answer questions about celebrities and pop culture like a freaking savant
5. Flirt
6. Public speak with ease
7. Grow roses

7 THINGS THAT ATTRACTED ME TO MY HUSBAND:
1. He's a great dad
2. He makes me laugh every day
3. He let's me be the center of attention
4. He calls me on my shit
5. He's my best friend
6. He's a really great kisser
7. He's the kindest person I know

7 THINGS I SAY MOST OFTEN:
1. I know...
2. Does that make sense?
3. I am so hot, cold, hungry, tired...[fill in whine here]
4. I love you too
5. What the hell?
6. Goddammit
7. What do you think?

7 BOOKS I LOVE:
1. To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
2. All Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle books - Francis McDonald w/ Hilary Knight illustrations
3. Catcher in the Rye - J. D. Salinger
4. Crows - Charles Dickens
5. Wicked - Gregory Maguire
6. Contemporary romance novels - the trashier the better!
7. Practical Magic - Alice Hoffman

7 MOVIES I LOVE:
1. A Room With a View
2. Grease 1 & 2
3. Sixteen Candles
4. Garden State
5. All Kevin Smith movies
6. Hustle and Flow
7. The Transporter

I so don't know how to tag anyone, and I am really kinda lazy, so if you're reading this then, TAG! You're It!

Random Questions

~Why is it that at least 2 times a year I forget the nausea and subsequent vomit-in-my-mouth taste I get every single time I eat anything from Capta'n D's? I'll get this wild hair that I really need to eat some greasy, deep-fried fish and end up inhaling it like a Hoover. Within minutes it all comes rushing back.
~ Why have I had the weirdest songs in my head lately? Two days ago it was "Valerie" by Steve Winwood, whom I greatly dislike. Today's hit - "It's Only Natural" by Crowded House.
~When did I decide not to shave any higher than right above my knee? For some reason, the razor stops there and I've never really thought about it before now.
~Why do I have a mental block about important things like answers to test questions or remembering important facts about my job, but yesterday I answered fifteen questions about this 5 years after it happened and had such an effect world events?
~What is my fascination with James from Big Brother 7? He's scrawny, has a lisp, and wears sleeveless T-shirts (which no man should EVER WEAR). I had one of "those dreams" about him and since then he makes me a little breathy when he's on the TV.
I just don't get me sometimes.

20th Reunion

Last Friday, B had his 20th reunion. His band, Whistlepunk, was supposed to play and it was a big deal. B was not looking forward to the trip down memory lane, but was a little bit excited about playing. Well, at the last minute, the singer (the small guy in the sunglasses) decided he didn't want to play for a group of people who know every word to Hank Williams Junior's Family Tradition. I can't say I don't blame him. Dude, they know every. single. word.

Anyways, after S bailed, B didn't want to go anymore. What the Hell? After many conversations of "I'm too fat, old, [insert self-degrading adjective here]... and one argument later, B and I gussied up and made our way to The Blue Parrot, a local bar owned by one of B's classmates. The room was spinning with disco lights, and the synthtic sounds of Roxette's The Look was blaring over the speakers. I have never seen that many desperately tanned bodies and bleached teeth in my life.

After a couple of beers and the arrival of the other bandmate, B finally loosened up and relaxed. He didn't say much about anything or anybody, and more often than not, I had to just jump in and introduce myself. We left after about 3 hours, came home, and went to bed. I thought that was it. Oh no, all I have heard about for the last few days is this reunion - who was there, what they looked like now, etc... For somebody who didn't want to be there, he sure has a lot to say about it.

Ironic

Today I got the email from our agency saying "Congratulations, your dossier has been logged into CCAA!"
How bizarre is it that our LID was 6/27/06 - the same day I wrote this post?
Off to celebrate~

Snoogans

I'm ready. Bring on the Mooby's

Asphalt Summer

Happy 4th of July!

Not the 4th

Even though today was a workday and not the 4th of July, my city decided to celebrate. B's brother Allen and his three children were in from Nashville, and it's always good to see them. In the picture are Carlie and Peyton in the front and Ethan and C in the back. Ethan and C are six months apart. Yeah, puberty's a real bitch. She's not only a foot taller, she's twice his weight. I'm thinking some of it may have to do with the fact that the only food he eats are hot dogs (no bun), chicken fingers, and pepperoni pizza. Occasionally he'll eat macaroni and cheese. Fortunately C got some of her mom's DNA and doesn't have that Children of the Corn pasty skin, light hair, and light red-rimmed eyes look that her cousins do.

As you can see, C's hair is a lovely shade of plum. Her mom's hippy friends came in last week and taught her how to dye her hair with vegetable dye. She loves it. My FIL almost had a stroke. C dyes her hair and Ethan let his grow out. My FIL eats-lives-breathes fifties mentality. It wears me out.

So they all had to try the Mentos & Diet Coke Experiment. As you can see from the picture, C had to put it in her mouth and let it foam.

We live about 50 yards from the riverbank where the city's fireworks are set off, and they all walked down to watch. I stayed back and started cleaning up from the havoc wreaked by Thing 1, Thing 2, and Thing 3, otherwise known as C's cousins. About 30 minutes later, instead of hearing fireworks booming overhead, the entire house lights up with lightening and I hear a huge clap of thunder. That storm hit so hard and fast, everyone was soaked to the skin within seconds. I was amazed at how fast they ran the 50 yard dash! Needless to say, the fireworks were cancelled

Family Cookout

Nothing says summer better than a boy swimming in his underwear. God, I hate to think how many hits I'll get because of that statement. Anyways, after getting up at the butt-crack-of-dawn (6:30 am) to finish writing a narrative about "schools being key institutions in creating social change," slaving over homemade hot dog chili (which I don't eat), and making macaroni salad (which I do eat), B and I sludged over to the Parents to have a "just us" family cookout. B had a hangover and I was working on about 4 hours sleep, so sludged is the word. The only person who wasn't a part of our immediate family was my SIL's grandmother, Thelma. She's pretty cool and fits right in. C was at her mom's house playing "mommy;" her mom still can't lift the baby, so she's keeping C in her clutches tighter than Anusol suppositories.

We had gigantic cheeseburgers - my favorite, drank gallons of water, and ate all fruit popsicles. My SIL, who works for a major children's retail chain that's not Baby Gap or Children's Place, and I made plans to shop for Ms. Ruby next weekend. Several "collections" are on sale and I am starting to cave on the "No Shopping Till LID" big time. We had a great time.




















Evie loves her some cupcakes!

I'm With the Band

I finally bought new furniture for the living room. For the three or so who follow along, you may remember I tried this once back in January and it was a bust. Well, I tried a different furniture store and ended up buying a sofa, chair 1/2, ottoman, and 4 tables. Whoo hoo! Here's my mom hanging in the chair. It's not quite as yellow and green in real life.
We then went to Applebees and I had the new Grilled Greek Chicken Salad and it rocked. We shopped some and I bought Ruby this and this from LeapPad.
Later I went to the Vandalia Lounge to see Brian's band, Whistlepunk with Thea, Caroline, and my brother-in-law Allen. The Vandalia Lounge is a swanky little joint that has a kick ass drink menu. I had a java martini and it was fabulous. Oh yeah, the band was cool too. Don't tell anybody, but I took the drummer home with me!

Welcome Elizabeth W.

Blue Suede Beauties - FR: Caroline, Me, Karen. BR: Susan, Tracy, and Cindy - who finally got her girl!

Congratulations to Cindy and the boys on their referral of the newest addition to the family, Elizabeth!

Waiting and Worrying

We are now waiting on our LID. To me, in my mind,this will be the final step that will confirm that we are going to get Ruby. I worry about being turned down. A lot. I want reassurance, I want a "done deal." I want to be able to register for baby gifts and buy pretty things and not get nauseated thinking I may have to return them, "Sorry, no baby."

At my annual exam last year, my GYN recommended an endometrial ablation. Ironically my virtual twin, Shannon, just went through this a few weeks ago. My GYN and I decided to wait until B and I returned from China. I distinctly remember saying, "We'll travel next year." That was a year ago. In March. Now, we are looking at least another year after we get our LID, which could be now or a month from now. I have decided to go ahead with the surgery. I can't wait another year for this. I know I can wait on Ruby, albeit not patiently, but I don't want to put this off for another year or more. I am at the point where I am either in PMS mode, bleeding, or recuperating from the endless period. They are lasting around 10 days now, and are debilitating.
The deal with endometrial ablation is sterility. Granted, B and I are as barren as they come, but this surgery will make it an in-your-face reality. My GYN will also perform a tubal ligation just to safeguard, you know, just in case pigs fly and people in Hell drink ice-water. I will be going in on the Friday before Thanksgiving, and will be taking that entire next week off. I decided November for reasons. 1) My job should be in a groove by then and I'll have a better sense of scheduling clients, 2) I really want Thanksgiving week off to hang out with my mom to cook and shop, and 3) We will know for sure by then if we are definitely going to China because we'll hopefully be 5 months LID. Hopefully.

Bottom line? I want to quit worrying. I want to enjoy shopping for my girl. I want to do all of those things that make me want to puke. I want my LID.

Quiet House

C and her brother went home today. The weekend was rough, B pulled his back on Saturday morning and it basically went downhill from there.

B and I learned quite a bit from this experience:

1. Having a baby in the house can be a lot of fun. We laughed a lot.
2. Having a baby in the house can be very stressful. We bickered a lot.
3. Soy formula really stinks. That smell, like instant mashed potato flakes, permeates everything.
4. Babies need to have their teeth brushed. You know, from the beginning, we have been on C like white on rice about this. Religiously. Don't ask me why we kept bailing on this poor kid. If he develops massive tooth decay, we're pleading the fifth and deleting this post.
5. Sam's Choice wet wipes are crap. They smell awful, no sweet baby smell from these and they shred when wiping copious amounts of poo. We won't be purchasing this brand. Ever.
6. Speaking of copious poo, I have a history of poo related issues. This weekend did not help me overcome them.
7. B and I are very different types of parents; I stress and he sleeps. We have a lot of middle ground to find.
8. We are both incredibly out of shape. We have a year (or more) to remedy this.

It was a good week, but I am happy to have my house back. Next we need to get to work on Ruby's nursery, we're going to need the space.

Shhh...We Don't Know Yet!

I just checked our Parent Access page on our agency's website. Guess what? We were DTC Monday June 19! We haven't received the official email yet, so keep it to yourself, 'kay?

Awesome Gifts

Ruby's first Ladybug book. Thanks Secret Pal!

Ducky T-shirt and "Quack Quack" from my bloggy pals! Ruby's gotta represent the Blue Suede Beauties!

Cutting Off My Nose

C's mom had her second thyroid surgery today. As of yesterday, we are keeping C and her 13 month baby brother, M while mom recuperates. It's looking like we are going to be the home base for these two for the next two weeks, maybe more. Unfortunately, C's mom doesn't get any support from family or M's father. She has to rely on friends to help her out. B and I debated the issue of keeping him (and being his guardian should something happen) for a long time. It's kind of strange, and many wouldn't understand, but we couldn't say no.

It's not always been easy being a stepmom. From the beginning, I have been hyper-aware of my place. I am not C's mom. Oh, more times than not I call her my "daughter," I don't love her any less, and I discipline regularly just like any parent would. Nevertheless, there have been too many times to count when C's mom would remind me of my place. Over the years, I have been told "no" to requests to take her places, not allowed to spend time with her one-on-one because she "needs to be with a parent," denied access to school activities or parent-teacher conferences, had new clothes returned or destroyed, and received parenting and nutrition magazine subscriptions as gifts so I can "learn and understand" what it's like to be a conscientious parent. No I am not exaggerating. But honestly, I wasn't at all surprised when she asked if we would adopt M if she dies of cancer. Why? Because despite all of her spite, I love her daughter. I always have and I always will. No, I am not the "better" person, and I am positive our animosity toward each other is only on hiatus, I am just a person who will not hurt these children because their mother and I don't get along.

So far, my house looks like a bomb dropped, I have been spit-up on twice, endured a 2 am diaper change, I smell like soy formula and laughed till I cried more than once. It doesn't matter though, because if being with Ruby is half this much fun, we've got it made in the shade.

Lost in Translation

As of June 15, we are currently in translation and almost ready to be DTC. I had to get an additional letter from my doctor telling CCAA that because I have hypertension I can still parent a child. This is letter #3. 3! Regardless, we were pushed back et another week and now we are just hoping to be DTC before July. AAARRRRGGGGG!

Bright Light City Gonna Set My Soul...

Oh, how to describe my recent trip to Memphis to meet some of my bloggy pals? It was a fantastic time. I would love to include pictures with my narrative, but blogger is not being cooperative. I downloaded some, but they are lost in space. I'll try again later, or maybe they'll just pop up. We'll see. Anyways...

Friday we drove all day. My friend Caroline went with me to offer moral support and conversation on the long way down and back. Caroline is quiet and unassuming and calls me on my shit when I'm being a spaz. The drive wasn't bad, just long. There's just not a lot to see on the Blue Grass Parkway. Ironically when we arrived, Traci was in the car in front of us, and Karen pulled up in a taxi right behind. We met up with Cindy, who'd arrived earlier, and all went to Bahama Breeze. It was wild to see these women that I felt like I knew, but really didn't know at all. We had a great dinner and went back to the hotel. Susan had arrived while we were out, but Caroline and I were so tired we just said hello and made plans to meet in the lobby the next morning.

Saturday, Karen, Susan, Caroline and I hit Graceland with a vengeance. After a breakfast at the secret I-Hop, we ran around like tourists snapping pictures, getting temporary tattoos and giggling like we were in high school. Caroline and I hit the car museum, while Susan and Karen admired the airplanes. We dashed back to the hotel, freshened up and met up with Susan and Traci to head to downtown Memphis. We had lunch and the waiter was a hoot. He called me "love" and was gracious enough to snap pictures with 5 different cameras. We started a trends and 2 other tables whipped out digitals and hit him up for some snaps.

We had reserved a carriage ride through the city and once we piled into the seats, I bailed. Too tight a squeeze, and 20-30 feet into the ride my butt was asleep. I jumped out and tooled around the air conditioned Peabody hotel while the rest of the ladies toured Memphis. I am sure Chester the carriage pony was appreciative, and I had a great time. I shopped and talked Pencil Pointer puzzles with a Russian storekeeper who was whizzing through one in his native language (v. v. cool, btw), watched a very young wedding party in very expensive attire swig Bud out of the bottle, and watched the Peabody Ducks do their evening parade to their private penthouse. All in all, my hour alone was really fun.

After the carriage ride, we shopped a little more, and the ladies all chipped in and bought Ruby a gift, which was really sweet. If blogger wasn't being a bitch, I would proudly share a picture of her ducky t-shirt and puffy "Quack, Quack" Little Golden Book. Soon, soon. Thanks again, pals.

We walked to Beale St. and ended up BB King's Blues Club. We listened to music, Karen and Susan were Ikettes, drank a blue cocktail called "Lucille" and finally ate BBQ. Cindy split to shop without 3 boys clinging and pleading for mercy, and the rest of us hung out and rested our dogs. After a while, Susan, Caroline and I walked the length of Beale St looking at the bars and shops. I was amazed to see children running around, but the most shocking sight was seeing a pregnant woman chugging an industrial sized beer. Nice. We looked into the grimy windows of Coyote Ugly and saw the bartenders dancing stripper-style on the long bar, and a skinny Elvis impersonator that was kind enough to let Susan snap his picture. Around 11:00 we caught a cab and headed back to the hotel. I sat up front because I get carsick and chatted with our driver, Gregory. On the way out of the taxi, he handed me his card saying, "Here's my card. Give me a call if you're ever back in Memphis or you get a divorce." Wow, I haven't been hit on in forever. Thanks, Gregory, for capping off a great day.

The next morning Caroline and I dropped Susan off at the airport and headed home. I was exhausted, but would do it again in a heartbeat. I met some wonderful women who gave me a little bit of hope during this bleak time of waiting for Ruby. What a bunch of great broads. We have to do this again.

More on Memphis tomorrow

Man, photos + me + Blogspot = headache and hours of irritation.
It took over an hour just to get those pictures lined up.
I'll post about our awesome trip tomorrow. Yawn.

Takin' on the King

Self-portrait in Elvis' mirrored stairwell





Karen of Gwenblog (password protected) and my very quiet friend Caroline getting ready for a rocking day at the home of the King - Graceland!


Susan getting her "Burning Love" shimmer temporary tattoo by Sequoyia, a very sweet Graceland employee.



The final resting place of the King

I Hope No News is Good News

Well, everything has been submitted to CCAI for a week now. We are officially in critical review and translation. If all goes well, we should be DTC in the next 5 to 10 business days. That's all I'm saying because I don't want to jinx it.

The Story of We

A few days ago one of our directors was discussing her daughter's wedding. It's planned for May 2007, and they have budgeted 25K for the whole shebang. Firstly, knowing this person, I wasn't surprised. Secondly, I thought, damn, that would pay for another adoption. Thirdly, the conversation got me thinking about my own wedding 7 years ago today.

B and I had only been together 11 months. We were living together, to the chagrin of both our parents. Memorial Day weekend, I was supposed to have surgery to determine what was making my period so crazy. The day before the surgery, Friday, I came down with tonsillitis which caused the doctor to cancel. That night, as we were getting ready for bed,B asked me what I was going to do with my time. My response, "Clean the house." His rebuttal? "Well, let's get married." I said okay, rolled over, and passed out in a medication-induced coma. Romantic, huh?

Because it was a holiday weekend, we had to wait until a Tuesday. We loaded C into the van and headed to Catlettsburg Kentucky to get married. Our parents followed us down and we the whole thing was complete by 12:30, because the minister had a root canal scheduled at 1:00. C was very excited and somewhat disillusioned as to why we were there, When we arrived, she asked me, "Where is she?" When I asked about whom she was talking, she said "Married? We're here to get Married!" To this day, this is one of her favorite "when you were little" stories.
We all had lunch and came home. B and I gave C a nap, took her to her mom, and went to see Star Wars: Episode I. I'll never forget sitting in that empty theatre running my thumb absently over his wedding band, thinking to myself that this is it, he's the one.

I still feel that way. We had a good day. I got the requisite flowers and gifts, and we also had dinner at Cafe Cimino, a lovely Italian restaurant owned and operated by our neighbor's father and stepmother. The food and atmosphere were romantic and delicious, respectively, but the best part was the drive up and back. For an hour each way - the pleasure of each other's company. Seven years, and we have yet to run out of things to say.

Holiday Hell

Man, today was rough!

1. Using my new chef's knife Rachael Ray style, I almost sliced off my right pinky. Let's just say I filleted it, and it is continuing to seep as the rest of my finger turns bluish-purple. Still. 12 hours later. Yes, I know I should've had a stitch or at least some of that human super glue stuff, but no. I didn't realize how much you use your pinkies when you type.
2. I have to make a big decision. C's mom has another child, who's only a year old. She has asked us to help out with him while she's recuperating from her next surgery. She has no family willing to help, and her best friend just said no. I don't know if I can do it for many, many reasons I can't discuss here.
3. Said bio mom came to my parents picnic with said baby. It was hard, not because of the baby, he's a baby, what's not to like? C on the other hand has assumed the "mommy" role because she's doing the bulk of the lifting. It's nerve-wracking and frustrating, plus she's really annoying about it. I guess that's one reason I am discussing here.
4. B and I were talking about this as we were leaving my parents, and I backed my Sorento into my father-in-law's new Chevy Trailblazer. Big crunch, but no major damage. My truck barely has a scratch. We have decided to get an estimate and go from there.
5. I had to come home and write a paper that was due on a freaking holiday. The hell?

How Bizarre

I just noticed that in the picture of B and me and in the picture of Elliot, they are holding their heads the same way. B is way cuter!

Here's the Deal, Pickle

So, B and I made this big trek to D.C., went through the harrowing process of fighting with the State Dept, relyied on strangers, and all-in-all had a pretty good weekend. I mean, we had fun, I got a Nine West purse for 12 bucks, and we ate really good Italian and really bad Mexican food.
Well, amidst all of this fun, we didn't realize was that we took 2 copies of B's police clearance reports and none of mine. Basically, when CCAI got our dossier, it was one document short. Plus, they wanted more pictures of us with friends and family.
Pictures I could do - that's easy I have a new camera. Getting that document authenticated was another story. Prior to crying tears of frustration and embarrassment, I called our dossier rep Amanda who confirmed the news and led me in the direction of an Adoption courier. Now, I really wasn't sure if I wanted to trust a stranger with our precious cargo, but what choice did I have?
I contacted Laura of The Assistant Stork, and she took care of us. Although it cost us a little more, she had it taken care of in less than a week. As of yesterday, CCAI has the last of our dossier documents, and I hopefully can say we are in critical review. My hopes for being DTC in May are shot, but my DTC group hasn't kicked me out, so I guess that's okay. Besides, with the wait, what's another week?

Yes, We Are

Just wanted to let everyone know that C, my mom, and I are gonna be on the floor at the September 14 show.

Don't be hatin'

Word of the Day - Antagonize

Well today we found out that C's mom definitely has thyroid cancer. She had surgery on Monday and was told she was cancer free. When she went to have her post-op check-up and have her drain removed, her doctor said, "We were wrong, you do have cancer." So it's a massive radiation treatment and a second surgery. Damn, that sucks.
C's bully situation has escalated over the past few weeks, and we can't wait for school to be out, just to get a break. The problem is, C just can't get it and she antagonizes this one boy and two girls who torture her. She gives as much as she gets. Where they are mean, hateful bullies, she is spazzy and annoying - on purpose. We've tried to work with her on calming down and recognizing that she's being a spaz/annoying/childish, but it's just not clicking. I don't even want to go into how she handled herself this week at After School Care. I won't go into the details; they're too painful for me to type and for you to read.
It's hard for B & me to see her struggle, but for very different reasons. B still sees her as an innocent, precious baby. I see it from a clinical perpective - anxiety inducing plummeting self-esteem that can scar teenage girls into making bad decisions. Before I began working in the field of MR/DD, I was a Family Preservation Specialist and worked with children exclusively for 6 years. I have seen the damage children can do to each other, especially girls her age. I can't separate from this situation the way I could then. This is my child. You can't imagine how thrilled I am that she has one more year of elementary school. The thought of her going to middle school at this maturity level makes me want to puke.

So Long, Farewell...

He deserved to win.

Pictures

B & me in the kitchen a few days ago. I was having a rough day at work, so B fixed me dinner. After, we started goofing around with the camera.









Darwin, my love



I grew this!









This too!

Chubs AKA Evie, my niece AKA
the prettiest baby on the East Coast

Obsessions - Spring

If you've been following along, you'll know I have a tendency to obsess on things I like or love. Well, I have a whole new crop for spring so here they go...

1. My new camera, the Canon PowerShot A430. I have been taking pictures like a crazy woman, but have yet to figure out how to download them. Be prepared, they're coming.
2. Elliot Yamin. In the 5 years I have watched American Idol, I have never voted. This week I did - twice. Before, I really didn't care. With the exception of the Clay Aiken upset (moment of silence here), it was always crystal clear who would win. This time, it's up in the air. I have been sweating it every week in fear that Elliot would be booted. I really want this little guy to win. He's against the odds - he's got that he's-so-homely-he's-cute-but-damn-can-he-sing! thing, a stinkeye, and he's humble. Plus, his mom is his #1 fan. I am not ashamed to admit how happy I was with Wednesday's Chris Daughtry bitch slap.
3. The Office. I was in love with the BBC version, and I bow down to the comedic genius of Ricky Gervais. Nevertheless, the American version has hooked me. The last five minutes of Thursday's season finale killed. I am pretty into Jim and Pam, but nobody does painful, heart-breaking, unrequited love as well as Martin Freeman's Tim in the original. The American version parallels the BBC version pretty well. Dwight rules.
4. Jill Winters. I just finished reading her newest, Lime Ricky, and loved, loved, loved it. Her novels are funny and always have a mystery. Great chick lit. Read.Them.NOW.
5. This blog, Smart Bitches Who Love Trashy Novels. Snark at it's finest. I have found kindred spirits, because I, too, am a smart bitch who loves me some trash. I also love their takes on romance novel covers, they are laugh-out-loud funny.
6. School. Spring semester has been out for 2 weeks, and I am so ready to get back in the groove. Who woulda thunk? I am taking one class this summer, Curriculum Development, and I am developing an online professional/continuing education class on classroom management for K-12 teachers with the professor I am praying will be my chair. She wants to work with me and/or have me in class before she agrees. Well, this summer I will be doing both. Wish me luck - she's the one that I want ooh, ooh, ooh, honey!
7. Games Magazine. I have been a fan for years. My favorite puzzle is the Pencil Pointer crossword. It's a big square crossword where the clues are in the puzzle instead of being numbered and each clue can have multiple words. A few years ago Games put out an all Pencil Pointers special edition. I couldn't stop until I finished the whole thing. Every time I go to Books-a-Million I search for another special edition. Keep your fingers crossed.
8. Baby Clothes. B & I discussed timeframes for purchasing while I was molesting this, this and this. I put them back and remembered my vow that I would not buy anything baby until we knew for sure we were going to get Ruby. To him, that means an actual referral. To me, that means a LID. Well, let me tell you it's hard. I glance longingly wherever I go. I try to avoid shopping alone. When I am with someone, it's easier to resist.
9. My upcoming trip to Graceland. I am meeting some epals for the first time for a fun-filled weekend in Memphis. I am excited, but a bit nervous. I am afraid they won't like me, I won't be cool, fun, stylish, etc... When it comes to the China adoption community, there are more times than not that I feel I am on the outside looking in. I am nervous that this will be one of those times.
10. Our dossier. It's out of my hands now and I am scared to death. Enough said.

What is in a Name?

I am really struggling with the whole name thing, and not for the reason most soon-to-be-parents have. From the beginning I have been stuck on the name Ruby. B acquiesced after much browbeating from me. I just love the name, and always have. Even during the dark days of infertility I would think to myself if we have a girl, Ruby; if we have a boy, Oliver. When we discovered we couldn't get pregnant, I chose not to retire the name. Regardless, our daughter would be Ruby. Now I am not so sure.
Lately, everywhere I turn there's a Ruby. It's like that episode of Scrubs where Turk and Carla want to keep their chosen names for their baby a secret.
I totally get it.
I realize that other people like Amy, of Amy and Ruby Cate fame, and this blog are going to name their daughters Ruby if they want. Besides, they are in Massachusetts and Florida respectively, and not in my daughter's class at school. Yet, I just discovered this book and this book which both feature protagonists who are Chinese girls named Ruby. Another blog recently talked about visiting a friend and her daughter, (surprise, surprise) Ruby. It's starting to get to me.
I am torn. I really want our daughter to have a name that is unique, yet not so weird or juvenile that when she has grandchildren, they won't be calling her "Grandma Brittany" or "Grandma Kylie" (sorry to those out there who chose those names, they're just not for us). I need to either get over it or think of something new, which won't be shared outside of B and me. Suggestions? Opinions?

Breathe Again

Ready to go a few rounds with Mother Nature, I hopped puddles and flowing streams of storm water to the post office down the street to overnight 2.5 pounds of hope to Colorado - our dossier documents and photos. While there, I was so overwhelmed and flustered, I forgot to put our photos in with our paperwork. Thankfully, the nice postal worker gently re-opened our packet and let me slide them in. As I was holding the flap closed so he could tape it, he said, "Hey, your hands are shaking." Laughter burst out, and I said, "I'm really excited and a little bit scared." He just smiled and taped my package shut, stamped it, and said, "Don't worry, it'll get there by noon." I didn't explain, there was no need.
Going back to work, I trudged across the city streets amidst the lightening and rain. The wind was so fierce, it blew my umbrella inside out. I got soaked, but I didn't care. I am getting my girl.

We're Gonna Make It After All

We received our package from the Chinese Consulate today. All sixteen documents were authenticated and ready to go. Our goal is to get the dossier to Colorado on Tuesday. We are still pawing through pictures to send, and I have to covertly make copious copies at B's office Monday evening. Hopefully we will be DTC by the end of this month. Hats off! Whoo-hoo!

The Kindness of Strangers

This past weekend B & I hauled our butts to Washington D.C. to knock out three legs of paperchasing, as well as have a little time to ourselves. Because we both work, I go to school, he has a music studio, and we are going to have C full-time for a few weeks, we really wanted some time with just us. And honestly? If this dossier doesn't get to China by the end of this month I truly believe I am going to stroke out and die.
The trip up was pretty non-eventful, so I won't bore anyone with the details. We got to the hotel, which was nice, but nowhere near the Metro station. Yes, I will be calling hotels.com to bitch about that Big Fat Lie.
The next morning we drove to the Metro station, which sucked because we had to buy one-way tickets because of morning commuters. Anyways, we got off the Metro and realized that we have piss-poor directions to the Authentications office. I went up to a very robust Homeland Security guard at a hot-dog stand and asked him for directions. Being a helpful asshole, he basically told me "No, I am not helping you," and turned his back. I guess the call of a greasy hot-dog smothered in onions at 9:30 in the morning was more important than assisting a fellow citizen.
A woman with a huge wig was standing beside him, and when she saw this guy being an asshole, she volunteered to walk us there. We were grateful, and patiently waited while she bought herself a hot-dog and BB-Q corn chips, and then walked several blocks to the Authentications office. We thanked her and she went on her way.
As we walked in, we saw two little girls playing outside in the courtyard where the Authentications office is housed. One was Caucasian and the other was Chinese. We admired their cuteness, walked in, took a number, and waited until we were called. When we handed the worker our packet, she told us that we could only authenticate 15 out of 16 pages. When I asked if I could do 15 and B could do one, she told us "No, you two are together." Okay, by this point I was getting pissed. Hearing me argue with her, a man sitting in the waiting room said, "You know what, I'm not with them. Give it to me, I'll walk it through!" He was pissed on our behalf! I said, "You know, that's a great idea," and started to hand him one of our documents. At this point, the woman said, "I'll talk to my supervisor." Shortly she came back and wiggled her fingers at me. I handed over the document and sweetly said, "Thank you so much."
As we were waiting, B struck up a conversation with two women in the waiting room. One was an adoption courier (she was also the mother of the two little girls) and the other was a professional courier. B told them we were adopting and why we were visiting D.C. After the adoption courier split, B asked the other woman for directions to the Chinese Consulate. The woman began rattling off how to get there. B then asked, "How long do you think it will take us to walk there from here?" Looking shocked, the woman said, "You cant walk to China! It's too far! I'm going there next, I'll give you a ride."
By this point we were feeling pretty discouraged. Things just weren't as hearts-and-flowers as we expected. We looked at each other, and said, "Okay." This lady didn't look like a serial killer or a freak, she looked like a mom. Besides, we knew if she tried anything, we could take her - she maybe weighed 130 pounds. We got our paperwork back, checked it, and walked with this woman, who introduced herself as "Debbie," to her van. It was obvious then she really was a mom, because that van said "kids" all over it. We strapped in and the ride began with a massive U-turn right in the middle of downtown D.C. traffic. Let's just say I held onto the "Oh Shit!" bar the entire ride.
Debbie walked us in and began walking us through the process. We could not believe how helpful this woman was being - she didn't have to help us at all. She kept saying, "You guys look so nice, there's no way I would leave you."
We had decided to leave our documents with the Chinese Consulate, because to wait for them would have cost us over 500 dollars more. As we waited, the adoption courier walked in with her daughters, and said, "Hey, you beat us here." Debbie asked her how they got to the Consulate and she told us they rode the bus. Debbie asked her where they were going after their drop-off, and she said, "We'll ride the bus back to the Metro." Debbie then said, "I'm taking them back to the Metro station, my van seats 7, so ride with us."
Amazingly, we all finished within 3 minutes of each other. We walked back to van, all piled in, and Debbie made another massive U-turn and two-wheeled it back to the Metro station. As we all got our stuff and poured out, B said, "You can't imagine how much you've helped us. Is there anything we can do? Buy you some gas? Buy you lunch?" Debbie just smiled and said, "Nope. I have a good story to tell my family. They'll probably kill me for giving a ride to strangers, but you guys looked so nice, it was fine. Good luck!" She waved, made another U-turn and sped off.
We said good-bye to the adoption courier and her children and rode down into the belly of the Metro station, shaking our heads in amazement at how wonderful people can be.

The Big "C" - Bully For You

We recently learned that C's biological mom is having some health issues. Earlier this month she had a minor car accident, and while getting X-rays, the physician discovered a goiter/mass on her thyroid. After seeing an endocronologist, getting more tests, and discovering some hinky spots on her lymphnodes, they are pretty sure she has some type of cancer. Wow, pretty scary. It is intensified by the fact that, along with C, she has an 11-month-old and is currently going through a rough divorce. She hasn't always been the nicest person, but no one really deserves to go through this alone.
B & I are trying to be as understanding and helpful as possible. She has surgery on May 15 and we'll be keeping C for at least a week - maybe two. C's brother will be staying with a friend who has a flexible schedule and can stay at the mom's house.
C is taking it pretty well, but she's really having issues at school with her nemesis M. M is an incredible bully who regularly tells C she's stupid, weird, and fat. C handles it okay, but her passivity is allowing M to beat her down daily. We have all attempted to talk with C about not taking her shit, but the benign, benevolent forgiver in C won't stand up. She even tells us how great M is and how nice she can be sometimes. C even goes as far as calling this brat "my friend." When C says these nice things, most of the time I gently remind her that this girl is a bully, and friends don't make you feel like shit on their shoe. Sometimes I just want to shake C and shout, "Get a goddamn backbone! Smack her - it's okay, we'll bail you out!"
Anyways, C came home the other day and said that M has been telling her, "Your mom has cancer and could die. My mom's gonna live - she doesn't have cancer like your mom." Whoa.
I really want to call the teacher on this one, but it's not my place. I have learned over the last 8 years that stepparents have a place to take action, and this is not my place. All I can do is coach from the locker room, dry tears, and continue to try to wipe this fog of "Please like me" from the eyes of my child.

Cookin' With Grease

As you know, I am within walking distance of the main branch of our local library. Being that B and I are driving to D.C. tomorrow, I decided to trek down to find an audiobook. My pal Tami loves the library as much as me, so she came along for the fun.
Our library has an entire media floor so she and I went in opposite directions, and met at the checkout counter. I was armed with James Patterson's The Jester (B will not listen to romance novels on audio, get real). Tami comes waltzing up with Sista Monica Parker's Can't Keep a Good Woman Down. Now Tami isn't one to pick up a gospel CD - she's probably one of the least religious people I know. Nevertheless, she checked it out. When I asked her "Why?", she pointed out two songs on the list: Cookin' With Grease and Put it in the Crock Pot. Okay, that sealed the deal for me too - I had to hear it.
We got back to the office, shut the door and put Sista Monica in, thinking we would have a good laugh. Well, color me surprised! It was pretty good. I can't say I'll ever listen to it again, but the lady's got some pipes.
I decided right then and there if Oprah does her old and fat people version of American Idol, I'm singing Put it in the Crock Pot for sure.

Johnny and Marilyn

B and I received our passports today, which is fabulous! Two weeks earlier than expected, so we're off to D.C. next weekend.
Our pictures are pretty funny. B looks like a criminal/drug runner/cartoon character. B has hair that stands straight up al-la Johnny Bravo. At the time our passport photos were taken, he was in desperate need of a trim.
I look okay, which is saying a lot. I have many pictures where my right eye is going crazy lazy. So no stinkeye, whew! However, I do have a spot on my cheek that does not belong. I told B he'd better watch out, the Visa folks may mistake me for Marilyn Monroe!

Family Weekend

This past weekend C, B, & I hauled our booties over to Cincinnati for a weekend of family fun. It's been a long time since we went on a vacation, and being that we are spending beaucoup bucks on this adoption, a week-long beach trip is not an option (sigh).
After arriving just in time for Friday-Five-O'clock-Oh-Shit-It's-a-Game Night-Traffic, we finally made it to the hotel. Saturday we got up bright and early and headed across the street to the Netherland Plaza to look around and shop. When I told C that Paris Hilton's family owned this hotel, she asked me if Paris bought it with all the money she makes from acting. B laughed so hard he almost fell over in the street.
Later that afternoon we went to see Peter Pan, part of the Cincinnati on Broadway series. It was phenomenal! Yes, that's Cathy Rigby of Olympic and Stayfree Maxi Pad fame. She's 53 years old and is as flexible as Gumby. B was amazed that someone the same age as his mother-in-law could perform a split without pulling something.
Afterward we headed over to Jeff Ruby's Tropicana restaurant in Newport, KY and paid way more for dinner than we intended. Whoops...
Sunday morning we headed over to the Newport Aquarium to see Sweet Pea the Sharkray. We visited this aquarium 6 years ago when C was 4. She doesn't remember the trip, but B & I had such a good time we decided to go back. The aquarium has expanded to include an otter den and a rainforest area that houses birds that are pretty domesticated. If you pay a buck for a cup of nectar, the birds will literally eat out of your hand. For some reason C decided she was afraid of the birds and her dad and I ended up having all the fun.


Me hanging with the birds.






C pretending to hang with the birds - notice her arm and her dad's hand.
Nice fake.






B feeding one of the more aggressive birds. The bird eventually took the nectar cup and began throwing it back like a shot of scotch.





Good weekend. Good times.

WTF?

So today I was sitting in a very dry, very boring training with my pal Lori. We were listening to this guy drone on about how there are people in society who are devalued and, as people who are paid to work with devalued people, we need to help them find value in their societal roles. As we were lounging in our ergonomically uncomfortable chairs taking page after page of notes, the woman in front of us begins talking about her son who has disabilities. No big deal, right? Well, then she goes into how she has been at odds with her son's service agency because she does not want him to have staff who are of a different ethnicity than him. My pen skittered across the paper, and I looked at Lori who was mirroring the same WTF? look as me. Our eyes telepathically saying, "Is this bitch for real?" The woman then said, "I want him to have staff who are his ethnicity so that when he's out, like at the doctor, people will think that he's with family."
Oh hell no. She did not say this in front of 25 professionals and expect to get away with it. Neither Lori nor I could say anything to her - we were there representing our agency, which is very politically tied to our field. Inside I was screaming, "So, I guess I need to start interviewing
Chinese women my age to take my daughter to the doctor, that way they'll assume she's with 'family,' bitch?" Of course I couldn't say a word. But if she could read minds, man, she would have heard that and more.
You know what pisses me off the most, though? No one in that frigging room said a damn thing - no one. That makes me maddest of all.

Because We're A Little Bit Dumb

B and I just went to get our passports today. Yes, I know we're stupid. Honestly, though, I didn't think we would need them until we traveled. Hello! We need them to get the Chinese Consulate to authenticate our documents pre-dossier. DANG! IDIOTS!
I'll be 40 before we get Ruby.

Stinkeye

So for the past month I've noticed this bump on my outer corner of my left upper eyelid on the lash line that (unfortunately) resembles a whitehead. It's not sore or achy, just itchy when I wear my L'Oreal Paris Volume Shocking Mascara. Well, last night I fell asleep with my cosmetically enhanced lashes on, and this morning I ended up with the stinkeye. You know, the crusty, itchy, greenish, gunky eye that requires the application of a warm washcloth to open? It was even prettier because I looked like Petey from the Little Rascals.
I de-glue the lid and see that my bump is bigger and the corner of my eye is a little irritated. I do the no makeup route for work, which is good for everybody, and call my optometrist's office. They fit me in after lunch. Logically, I know the optometrist's office isn't a real hotbed of crisis and drama, all filled up with emergency eye issues. However, it is nice that they always work me in on the day I call. In my heart, I like to think it's because I have been going to this same family practice for 30 years. That's a lotta clams on exams, glasses, contacts, and bump removal.
Dr O takes one look at my stinkeye and breaks out the heavy artillery. Within 30 seconds of sitting down, I have my head at a funky angle and he has on the headwrap/headlight and the magnifier. He numbs my eyeball with stinging yellow goop, and uses gigantic tweezers to pluck out several eyelashes. OUCH. For a minute there, I started feeling a little like Dustin Hoffman in the movie Marathon Man, even though Dr. O is not a Nazi dentist, and I am not a short, Jewish method actor.
Anyway, Dr. O informs me that I have a "blocked gland" and I need to put wet heat on my lid as often as possible in order for the white gunk to "express or disperse." If my stinkeye doesn't go down in a week, he's gonna "clip it off."
Uh, hell no.
After this trauma which has taken all of 10 minutes from start to finish, I decide to call my mom on the way back to work. As I am telling her all about it, she interrupts me and says, "Oh, you used to get those all of the time when you were a kid."
Great.

One Step Closer

We got our I-171H! The federal government approved us to be adoptive parents - B's rep as a punk rock rebel just flew out the window. Ha!
B & I went out to dinner at the Rio Grande to celebrate. Those who are familiar with us know how pathetic we are in our love for some Rio. This time, however, the excuse to go was pretty damn valid.

Guilty Pleasures

The other day while my friend Tami and I were in the car for an extended period of time traveling for work purposes, we were listening to the XM Radio, cruising for the stations and hit upon Berlin's The Metro. We turned it up and sang along with every word. This got me thinking about guilty pleasures. You know, those things you just don't like to admit you love? Well, I'll tell you my top ten and just let it all hang out. What's a little honesty between friends, right?
Shhhhh... Don't tell anyone but I love...

1. All Michael Jackson songs up to the album (CD) Dangerous. Even though he's a freak and possibly molests small children, the man can sing. If he didn't have such rabid fans and could go beyond his freak stigma to tour again, I would be there. In.a.heartbeat.
2. Blue books. The steamier and raunchier the better. I will own up to reading romance novels, but wont discuss the ones that make the faint of heart have palpitations with anyone but my friend Caroline (who reads them too).
3. Laying in bed right before I go to sleep, I will picture myself walking down the red carpet waving to fans and talking to Joan and Melissa or Star Jones. It relaxes me, and it's way better than counting sheep.
4. Rubbing my butt before I go to sleep. Most of the time I make B do it, but if he doesn't, I will do it myself. Shut up and get your mind out of the gutter. Think massage. The legal kind, people!
5. Cutting my toenails in hotels. Yep, I am the nasty one.
6. The band Styx. They are cheesy, but I have a deep abiding love for Dennis DeYoung and Tommy Shaw. The Grand Illusion is one of the best albums ever, and no one can change my mind. BTW, I forced Tami to endure Mr. Roboto the day before we heard Berlin. She was appropriately traumatized.
7. Drinking my morning coffee before I brush my teeth. It tastes better that way.
8. The TV shows thirtysomething and Saved by the Bell. I will stop whatever I am doing, and like a deer in headlights, will watch either of these anytime they are on.
9. Catching C in a lie. I know it's bad of me to find pleasure in making her squirm, but in so many ways it's rewarding. She truly believes I can see and hear everything she does.
10. Popping B's zits. It's disgusting and gross, but there's a sick fascination that drives me to just grab and go. He hates it, but he endures. Man, I am really sick.

So, now that you think I am gross, have terrible taste in music, and probably a sexual freak, let me ask you this - What's your guilty pleasure?

Don't leave me out here all alone. Freak that I am.

Superstitious

Yesterday, I found myself wandering around T. J. Maxx killing time before my Curriculum Learning Theories class. It seemed like everything in the store was on sale. I was bombarded with 70% off signs on all sides as I cruised through the purses and was pretty shocked to see this bag for only $99! Not very tempted, I moved on, breezing through the shoes, socks, and panties adding black socks and pantyhose to my cart. I wheeled through home goods and debated sheets. I almost wrecked my cart in the gourmet foods section when I slid in some spilled jam. Then I caved to the sirens call of the children's section.
Like the Borg say, "Resistance is futile."
Ever the sinner I fondled, lusted, and coveted. I rubbed small marled cotton Calvin Klein sweaters marked down to $7 between my fingers. I imagined Ruby wearing navy blue $12 Ralph Lauren jumpers. I wallowed in seersucker sundresses with matching pantalettes. A sensual feast, I roamed and dreamed. As I rounded a 4-way filled with Easter frocks, my eyes were drawn to the Heavenly light bathing this...I rolled on the tide of tiny baby clothing and crashed right into that island. I inspected it from stem to stern looking in vain for a price tag. I finally located it hidden seductively in the folds of the seat and almost passed out.
$139.00
One Hundred Thirty Nine Dollars.
Oh.My.God.
A $300.00 stroller that's over 50% off!
Lust overwhelmed me as I slowly backed the cart away from the stroller. My hands trembled as I reached into my purse to grab the cell and call B. Knowing he would tell me what I wanted to hear, all I needed was the go ahead and it would be mine.
But I didn't. I resisted.
I put the phone back and immediately went to the checkout; the siren song of "Discount, you know you want this, you need this" echoing in my brain as I paid for my socks and pantyhose.
I don't buy anything baby because I am terrified. I am terrified we will be rejected. All of these rational and not so rational reasons float through my head all the time. Maybe China will say no because of my weight. Maybe because B has Lupus. Maybe they'll think we're ugly. Maybe because we don't have a religion. The list goes on and on.
I made a deal with myself way back during my infertility treatment that I would not buy any baby items until I knew for certain I was having/getting a baby. At this point, we still don't know.
Call me superstitious if you like, that's okay. I have to be safe and separated until I know for sure we are going to get Ruby (I didn't even want to talk names until B forced my hand and told me that the social worker would think I was too guarded and unsure if I didn't at least try). If I bring that into my house and my fears become reality I don't think I can handle it.