Ladybug, Ladybug Fly Away Home

Finally

2011-06-02T07:06:00.002-04:00

Beatrice Elliot Ming Ge, nee Shang Guan Ming Ge (means Bright Song)
Shanggao County, Jiangxi Province
Born November 13, 2010

Finally, finally...

Yet Another...

2008-11-24T18:21:00.003-05:00

Stole this one from Michelle

Bold the items that you have done(or will admit to doing).
01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink
02. Swam with dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said “I love you” and meant it
09. Hugged a tree
10. Bungee jumped
11. Visited Paris
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to a huge sports game
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
18. Touched an iceberg
19. Slept under the stars
20. Changed a baby’s diaper
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
22. Watched a meteor shower
23. Gotten drunk on champagne
24. Given more than you can afford to charity
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
27. Had a food fight
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. Asked out a stranger
30. Had a snowball fight
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
32. Held a lamb
33. Seen a total eclipse3
4. Ridden a roller coaster
35. Hit a home run
36. Danced like a fool and didn’t care who was looking
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
39. Had two hard drives for your computer
40. Visited all 50 states
42. Had amazing friends
41. Taken care of someone who was drunk
43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
44. Watched whales
45. Stolen a sign
46. Backpacked in Europe
47. Taken a road-trip
48. Gone rock climbing
49. Taken a midnight walk on the beach
50. Gone sky diving
51. Visited Ireland
52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them
54. Visited Japan
55. Milked a cow
56. Alphabetized your CDs
57. Pretended to be a superhero
58. Sung karaoke
59. Lounged around in bed all day
60. Played touch football
61. Gone scuba diving
62. Kissed in the rain
63. Played in the mud
64. Played in the rain
65. Gone to a drive-in theater
66. Visited the Great Wall of China
67. Started a business
68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
69. Toured ancient sites
70. Taken a martial arts class
71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
72. Gotten married
73. Been in a movie
74. Crashed a party
75. Gotten divorced
76. Gone without food for 5 days
77. Made cookies from scratch
78. Won first prize in a costume contest
79. Ridden a gondola in Venice
80. Gotten a tattoo
81. Rafted the Snake River
82. Been on a television news program as an “expert”
83. Gotten flowers for no reason
84. Performed on stage
85. Been to Las Vegas
86. Recorded music
87. Eaten shark
88. Kissed on the first date
89. Gone to Thailand
90. Bought a house
91. Been in a combat zone
92. Buried one/both of your parents
93. Been on a cruise
94. Spoken more than one language fluently
95. Performed in Rocky Horror
96. Raised children - yes C counts!
97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
98. Passed out cold
99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking with the windows open
103. Had plastic surgery
104. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived
105. Wrote articles for a large publication
106. Lost over 100 pounds
107. Held someone while they were having a flashback
108. Piloted an airplane
109. Touched a stingray
110. Broken someone’s heart
111. Helped an animal give birth
112. Won money on a TV game show
113. Broken a bone
114. Gone on an African photo safari
115. Had a facial part pierced other than your ears
116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
118. Ridden a horse
119. Had major surgery
120. Had a snake as a pet
121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
122. Slept for 30 hours in a 48 hour period
123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. States
124. Visited all 7 continents
125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
126. Eaten kangaroo meat
127. Eaten sushi
128. Had your picture in the newspaper
129. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about
130. Gone back to school
131. Parasailed
132. Touched a cockroach
133. Eaten fried green tomatoes
134. Read The Iliad and The Odyssey
135. Selected one “important” author who you missed in school, and read
136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
137. Skipped all your school reunions
138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
139. Been elected to public office
140. Written your own computer language
141. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream
142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
143. Built your own PC from parts
144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you
145. Had a booth at a street fair
146. Dyed your hair
147. Been a DJ
148. Shaved your head
149. Caused a car accident
150. Saved someone’s life

Think I Was Dead?

2008-11-15T20:17:00.004-05:00

Just a brief MeMe to let you know I am still in the land of the living. Just been busy, that's all...

Where is your mobile phone? Purse

Where is your significant other? Upstairs

Your hair colour? Blonde

Your mother? Friend

Your father? Awesome

Your favourite thing? i*Pod

Your dream last night? Scary

Your dream goal? Tenure

The room you're in? Cold

Your hobby? Reading

Your fear? Death

Where do you want to be in 6 years? Alive

Where were you last night? Bed

What you're not? Thin

One of your wish-list items? Coach

Where you grew up? Mountain

The last thing you did? Talk

What are you wearing? T-shirt

Your TV? Addiction

Your pets? Shedding

Your computer? Warm

Your mood? Cranky

Missing someone? Nope

Your car? Sorento

Something you're not wearing? Bra

Favourite shop? Amazon.com

Your summer? Over

Love someone? Obsessively

Your favourite colour? Eggplant

When is the last time you laughed? Daily

When is the last time you cried? Two weeks ago

What I've Been Doing

2008-09-29T09:15:00.003-04:00

It is finished, defended, and approved. I am officially a All But Dissertation. This, my friends, is a very, very, good thing!

Really, this is the biggest news I have. Some other updates:

~ We still have no resolution with our homeowners insurance on the ceiling collapse in our dining room. A structural engineer came and did a review the same day as my portfolio defense. She seemed positive that the entire ceiling should be replaced because of the lack of plasterers in our living area. Especially a plasterer who can do horsehair plaster repair.

~ In the midst of our home improvement, I aggravated my abnormal hips (anterior tilt in my right pelvic bone), and locked up my right side. After grouting, yard work, 3 hours driving and 12+ hours in heels, I totally wrecked my lower back. I have seen my chiropractor daily, even over the weekend, and have been bed-fast since last Thursday. I can sit for 10 minutes and stand for 15. I have no idea how I am going to teach for 3 hours tonight, drive for 3 and teach for 3 tomorrow, and sit through 2 1/2 of class for me on Wed, and teach another 3 hours on Thurs. I am wearing a lovely support belt, which is SEXY, and taking 800 Ibuprofen and 1000 Tylenol. Right now, I am reclining in my bed on the heating pad. Believe me, the reclining became old about 3 hours into last Thursday. My hair is wrecked as well and I basically look like this:

Totally 80s Birthday Pics!

2008-08-14T19:50:00.006-04:00

Here they are in all the glory, a few pics from my 80s Karaoke party. Notice the pegged pants, which just looks dumb. I really don't get Katie Holmes trying to bring that trend back! B went Vanilla Ice with a 10 dollar track suit and some t-shirt iron ons. We had a most excellent time.

My brother, Brian and me singing Hold Me Now by the Thompson Twins

My friend Kevin & I sing Karma Chameleon while the peeps dance

B & me singing our encore duet of Always Something There (to Remind Me) by Naked Eyes

Billie, Arlene, and Caroline do some Belinda Carlyle

AWESOME CAKE - the flowers were a little weird, but so apropos

Has It Really Been That Long?

2008-08-13T19:46:00.005-04:00

Wow, it's hard to believe that it's been a month and a half since I last blogged about anything. I've had things going on, but I guess blogging about them hasn't really been in the forefront of my mind. I guess I'll continue my current MO of bullet updates and hopefully get back into blogging sometime in the future. Somehow I doubt this, but it sure sounds good.

~This is my last week at my current job, and truthfully, Friday can't come fast enough. I saw my last client today, and there were no bittersweet feelings associated with any of my "last" activities. I wonder what that says about me?

~The new job starts Monday and I am woefully unprepared. Not really, I am ready, but I think I'll feel this way until I get into the groove

~About every 2-3 months I have been getting these lingering sinus infections. I am currently on day 10 of my current one, and it has totally whipped my ass. Since this time last year, I have been on: 10 antibiotics, 2 decongestants, 2 cough medications, an antihistamine, a nasal spray, had 2 steroid shots, a CT scan, a chest x-ray, and use a Neti Pot regularly. I have pretty severe allergies to grasses, plants, trees, and molds. My theory is that I have this, which makes total sense, since molds and fungus cause my most severe reactions. I am currently waiting on an ENT appointment, and am at the point where I will welcome the surgical scrape to get rid of this shit.

~I finished my final course and have now entered the dissertation phase of my doctorate. I am planning to defend my portfolio in early September and will officially be a candidate.

~We have a leak in our bathtub which has caused our 80 year old horsehair plaster dining room ceiling to collapse. We have to have the plumber 'diagnose' our problem and then our homeowners insurance will pay to repair the ceiling. All of that plaster dust and leaky residue is surely contributing to my sinus issues. Dammit.

~I had an 80s Karaoke birthday party last week for my 37th birthday. We totally rocked the face off the 80s music. B and I duetted to Bon Jovi's Dead or Alive. It was awesome. I will post pictures as soon as I can. The cake alone is worth seeing.

~ The latest addition to our family was born 2 days later. Mr. Jonah Brian (JB) is now comfortably at home nursing the night away. He's the first kid in 2 generations to be born with hair, which is a pretty amazing feat considering most of us were bald until at least 2. I've only seen pictures because I have been too sick to be around him.

~ Michael Phelps is KICKING ASS!

~ Our agency told us to hold off completing the I-800. We let our 171-H expire (long story), and have to re-file. The worker told us to just wait for a while, which is pretty freaking discouraging. 25 months and counting.

A Change Will Do You Good

2008-06-24T08:05:00.002-04:00

So, remember this post a few months ago where I predicted that changes were coming? Well, it's official - my prediction that change is a comin' has finally come true. Last Friday, I resigned from my job. It wasn't a "Hey! Take this and shove it!" situation, I gave the company a lengthy notice and will be finishing mid-August and transitioning to my new position the following Monday.

A little history:

Back in December B called me at home and told me "I am emailing you something. You need to do this." He emailed me a notice from our state's largest Research I university (his employer and my former employer in a different capacity), an advertisement for a teaching faculty position in the Master's of Social Work program.

I scoffed.

"No. Seriously! You need to apply!"

So I did.

And I promptly went on with my life.

Eventually, I received a call that I was a candidate for the position and an interview was set up at the end of March. Oh friends, this was not just your average job interview - it was an interrogation of the highest form. Over the course of 2 days and 350 miles round-trip, I met with:

a 6-person visiting committee, which included the Dean of Medicine and the Division Chair of a sister university;
Developed and conducted a 2 hour teaching session on Everett Rogers' Diffusion of Innovations;
Met with the dean;
Met with the assistant dean,
Had lunch with 2 faculty;
Had an 8-person faculty round-table panel interview;
Met with the division chair.

I was exhausted by the end of day 2. I don't think I have ever slept so hard.

I start with the fall semester teaching 3 classes and revamping and applying curriculum to the university's current online learning management system. I'll also supervise students in field placement and work with our local NASW chapter on conferences, fairs, and legislative work days.

In 2000, I graduated from the program for which I will be teaching. Had anyone predicted that I would eventually teach in the program I would have scoffed. Oh wait, I did.

Good thing I don't listen to myself.

23

2008-05-27T19:52:00.001-04:00

Suddenly my favorite number isn't so fun anymore.

Buckling Down

2008-05-04T09:53:00.005-04:00

I haven't totally abandoned blogging, I just haven't had much to say. Things have been a little redundant here and I wanted to spare my 1-2 readers the boring details. I have been working extra hard and bucking down to get some things done to make some of those changes I was talking about in this post. Small successes, but there is some good news to share!

I am almost finished with my Portfolio, and definitely will defend in June. Last week, my chair returned my reflection with no revision requests! I was pretty surprised because I turned in my first draft of the paper as my rough draft. Yeah, that's how I roll - I write in my head over and over, put fingers to typepad, and turn it in. Don't judge me.

Also, I have made the first steps of getting my dissertation together. A research project in the public school system came up and the dean (who is on my committee) felt it would be a good fit with me! The topic is interesting and fits really well with my experiences as a social worker. I met with our local Board of Ed last week and was able to iron out the details some. Both the dean and my chair are very supportive of this topic and if I buckle down I should finish by next spring or summer as planned. Even though I am going about the process a little backward because I am starting some exploratory qualitative research in a couple of weeks, it has been approved and I am safe. If all goes as it should, not only will I finish my doctorate, the research will be applied and will possibly influence policy changes in our county. That's pretty major. It means I have to phase out of the other project, but those wheels are turning already.

The professor for my class made another student cry a few weeks ago. The person couldn't hide it or hold it in (like me) and had a mini-meltdown right in the middle of her presentation. Oh yeah, it was rough. I hate it that my classmate had the same experience as me, but I am glad it happened for 2 reasons:

1) It wasn't just a personality clash between the two of us; I was worried that it was "just me."

2) She got a real glimpse of how hard she pushes and has backed down significantly.

We have had one hit over the last month that kinda bites, but we're not letting it bring us down too much. In this post, remember how I discussed our I-1600 renewal and how B's HR person was holding us up? Well, she held us up enough that we now have to file the new I-1800 and pay all of the fees (870 bucks). Our homestudy update was still free, but those fees hurt. It also scares me that because we have to fill out the new form, we won't get approved or it will mess things up for us. So scared that I haven't contacted our agency to tell them. Any thoughts or experiences that can make me feel better about this are welcome. They did send us a fingerprint appointment, so that makes me feel like it's going to be okay. Regardless, you never know how the Federal Govt. will handle things.

I noticed a while back that since I quit participating in Secret Pal exchanges that I no longer buy or look at anything baby related. I am removing myself from this process and don't feel connected to it anymore. We're 22 months post LID with no foreseeable future. Nice, 3 days, dudes. I am beginning to settle into acceptance and resignation that this may not happen for us, and I am really bothered about it. People no longer ask about the adoption, and I've noticed that days will go by without any thought or discussion of Ruby. It's breaking my heart because our hope is dying and I don't know how to get the adoption mojo going.

Because denial is a wonderful emotion, I am running away with little trips and adventures. On the books are:

* A trip with my mom and C to see The Lion King in September.

* A family weekend to Ced@r L@kes with 2 other families (B's cousin and his BF from high school). B, Matt, and Dan will take all 6 kids to the park while Missy, Shar, and I shop at the outlets. I see a Co@ch outlet in my future.

*And tonight, I am going to see these guys with my brother. Yeah!

How Many More? *UPDATED

2008-03-27T08:13:00.007-04:00

If you can see the number 21 in this circle, not only will you know how many months since our LID, you are also color-blind.

*21 months today

Land of the Living

2008-03-18T17:04:00.004-04:00

Hello?...

Anyone out there?...

I know, I know, it's been a while, and for that I am sorry. Things have been a little hectic around here, and blogging just hasn't been at the forefront of my priority list. The past month has been a doozy, so pull up a chair and enjoy the reasons why I haven't been blogging.

Reason #1: School is whipping my ass. I am taking one class this semester, but the workload is overwhelming. I am currently reading my SEVENTH text book, planning for interviews and focus groups with 3 area schools, and really, really disliking the class as a whole, especially my professor due to rank negativity and supreme narcissism. Yes, it's a joy. The good news is that I am pulling together my artifacts and writing my reflection as part of the admission to candidacy process in order to move on to dissertation. Required artifacts is 5+, and I have 13. Woot! I should defend in May or June.

Reason #2: B bought me a 4gig Gen3 N@no for Valentine's Day. Whenever I have had a free moment, I will download a CD or browse some music and/or audiobooks. I am an apple addict and I am okay with it. B totally despises M@c and I can't believe he even bought it, but I guess my whining go to him and has paid off. I am in love with my new gadget, and combined with my noise-canceling headphones, it was a lifesaver on the plane ride to and from Las Vegas (nice segue, Deb).

Reason #3: I went to Las Vegas a few weeks ago and didn't have as good a time as I wanted because of the company I kept. I have decided that I am a terrible traveling/living companion and should not travel/live with anyone who is not bound to me by blood or law. I can co-exist with others who are not bound to me by blood or law for around 2-3 days as long as I have my own room. Otherwise, it's a bust. I spent a 24/7 week with a school colleague and, by day 3, I was taking my 10 minutes of stolen alone time to call B in a snit. I should be ashamed because my colleague is an incredibly nice, devoutly religious, non-judgmental person. It was just too much contact time with someone who doesn't know the real me. You know, the non-religious, crass, foul-mouthed, foodie who lives for a great meal and is willing to pay for it both literally and figuratively? The laziest person alive, who will also gladly tell you that you have a booger, pick your zit, and offer scathing, judgemental opinions about fashion faux pas on every street corner? Well, the true colors of my personality couldn't shine through for fear of offending or scandalizing the poor woman. It was too much time with a person who is fundamentally different on every level. Personally, I didn't plan to go to the city that never sleeps to find ways to save money, hit the sheets by 10:30, and spend hours walking in order to avoid paying for a cab - but I did. Oh the shows were good and the lights were amazing, but with a crappy hotel, only one really good meal, no privacy to poop, and no opportunity to see any showgirls, real gamblers, or drunk celebrities, I was ready to snap and thanked B profusely for my only escape (See Reason #3).

Reason #5: There is a really good chance that I am going back to Las Vegas with B in June. He's headed out for a conference and my goal is to wipe the slate clean. I plan to eat at good restaurants, gamble a good bit, see some showgirls, and stay at a hotel where the latest update took place in this century. I cannot wait to experience Vegas with B, my soul mate in filth.

Reason #6: Month 21 of LID is approaching on the 27th, and the discouragement and depression about our adoption is a consistently hovering black cloud. What's to say? At least the PTB have finally moved into 2006 - by 4 days. So, I am wondering if this means we should go ahead and renew our paperwork? We have put it off because, really, what's the point? Motivation to pursue anything adoption-wise is at an all-time low. This past weekend we gave C's old twin bed to my niece, Chubs, and ended up cleaning out a significant space in Ruby's to-be nursery. Sadly, doing this neither encouraged nor inspired B and me to begin planning how to decorate her nursery. In truth, we just shifted the Rubbermaid containers, extracted the bed, and shut the door on an almost empty room. A room that will stay that way for at least another year.

Don't know when I'll blog again, but next up will be an in-depth discussion of why I like Wednesdays best of all - just for Walternatives!

Happy Birthday!

2008-02-13T07:54:00.003-05:00

Happy Birthday, Special K!

Stolen

2008-02-10T19:24:00.000-05:00

I should be doing homework but instead, I stole this Blog Meme Deluxe from Ms Lisa

FAVORITES:

Favorite Color: Purple
Favorite Food: Mexican - mainly chips & salsa
Favorite Month: August - my birthday and usually a vacation
Favorite Song: I don't have an all time favorite. Right now - David Bowie's Man Who Sold the World and Daughtry's What About Now
Favorite Movie: A Room with a View
Favorite Sport: None to play; basketball or men's swimming to watch
Favorite Season: Fall
Favorite Day of the week: Wednesday
Favorite Ice Cream Flavor: Pistachio
Favorite Time of Day: Early Morning

CURRENTS

Current Mood: Grumpy - I am sick from my third sinus infection in 6 months. My ears hurt.
Current Taste: Stirfry - B's cooking and it smells yummy
Current Clothes: Dark gray velour lounge pants, black turtleneck, and white sneaker socks.
Current Desktop: A cartoon from this website. JAM!
Current Toenail Color: Umm... getting that taken care of next week
Current Time: 7:37 pm EST
Current Surroundings: Our bedroom surrounded by textbooks
Current Thoughts: I need to quit dicking around and type up the notes for this, I need to eat that stirfry, my ears hurt, what am I going to wear tomorrow for work

FIRSTS

First Best Friend: First Real Best Friend was Kathy. Kathy and I were BFFs through junior high and high school, and we had great fun together. We were pretty competitive with each other, which was healthy and inspiring. We hung out all the time talking about boys, gossiping about everybody, making up interpretive dances, writing in slam books, and owning our local Children's Theatre. She's married to a great guy and has 2 beautiful boys, and is extremely successful in her field. She still inspires me today.
First Kiss: First closed lips - Charlie V. in sixth grade. I think he managed to kiss every girl in our class. First open lips - David F. in eigth grade following the Brian Adams concert. It wasn't good, sorry David.
First Screen Name: DMBFan. I am still a fan.
First Pet: We always had pets, so I don't remember the first.We had Stupid (yes, the dog's name was Stupid), Oscar, Dottie, and Albert. All are now chasing rabbits and eating large soup bones in the sky.
First (and only) Piercing: Earlobes
First Crush: Jason C. in sixth grade. He had perfectly feathered blondehair, which was groomed repeatedly by the small comb he kept in the back pocket of his Lee jeans.He would wear those white crew socks with stripes at the top and pull at them constantly. His favorite song was Jack and Diane by John Cougar (Mellencamp), and every time I hear it, I think of him.
First CD: Ahem, do you mean Album? That would be Prince and the Revolution - Purple Rain.

LASTS

Last Cigarette: About a year and a half ago. I was a social smoker, and never really was addicted. Since B quit, I have no one to bum a few puffs from.
Last Drink: Can't really remember. Maybe a Dos Equis at the Mexican place about a year ago.
Last Car Ride: I don't ride - I drive. Last drive was to and from the gas station to fill up my vehicle for a long drive in the am.
Last Kiss: Real one last night from B before bed.
Last Movie Seen: 3:10 to Yuma. I fell asleep. I have really been into Dexter lately. I just finished season I and I am now watching Season II on demand. I have also starting watching back episodes of BBC's Spooks.
Last Phone Call: My mom calling to say goodnight.
Last CD Played: Daughtry

HAVE YOU EVERS

Have You Ever Dated One Of Your Best Guy/Girl Friends: I married my best guy friend.
Have You Ever Broken the Law: Probably. Okay, yeah, but nothing too criminal. Petty things that karma will pay me back for someday.
Have You Ever Been Arrested: Nope. Petty things only.
Have You Ever Skinny Dipped: No, I can't swim and I would only skinny dip at night, so I can't see this ever happening.
Have You Ever Been on TV: Yes, but only local access.
Have You Ever Kissed Someone You Didn't Know: Oh yeah. But only kissing.

5 THINGS

Thing You're Wearing: Pigtails because my hair is dirty.
Thing You've Done Today: Homework and Work-work. Yawn.
Thing You Can Hear Right Now: C in the shower and B clicking through the channels on the TV.
Thing You Can't Live Without: Family & coffee
Thing You Do When You're Bored: Surf the Internet.

4 PLACES YOU'VE BEEN TODAY

In bed
In my recliner
My mother's house
On the toilet

PEOPLE YOU CAN TELL ANYTHING TO

B
My mom
Rachael

CHOICES

Black or White: Black
Hot or Cold: Hot coffee; cold everything else

No.1 THING YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE: I can think of several things I want to do - finish my doctoral program and get my pointy hat, lose weight and be healthy, go to New York City, watch C graduate from school and have a good life, wake up every morning next to B, and many, many more. But the No. 1 thing I want to do before I die is hear my Ruby calling me Mama.

Blogger's Strike

2008-02-02T18:29:00.000-05:00

I guess I decided to take a little hiatus there for a while. Just like the WGA's neverending strike, I decided to walk the picket line of blogging. No writing for me, and I am okay for it. I have been reading other blogs regularly (addiction is hard), but I haven't had a whole lot to say that's been positive. Truthfully, I still don't have a whole lot to say that's positive, except, maybe, I'm back?

Regardless, I haven't abandoned the whole blogging "thing," I've just been a little down, a little lazy, and a little busy. The bottom line is that I've been up to a whole lot of Woe and not enough Awesome.

Since I am subjecting you anyway, I'll alternate the Woe with the Awesome.

WOE ~ I have gained weight, which is something I could not afford to do. I just saw a picture of myself holding Caroline's new baby (AH!), and it wasn't so pretty (EW). Gravity and chins don't mix. I believe it's my thyroid acting up. I have lost a considerable amount of hair, which is distressing in itself, and I have the energy of a garden slug. Too bad, a nice dip in beer wont shrivel me some.

AWESOME ~ I am going to Vegas in a few weeks. I am pretty excited since I've never been. I have tickets to see Mama Mia and I am hoping to get my classmate to go to Mesa Grill. I know my boyfriend Bobby won't be there, but it's close enough.

WOE ~ C is doing somewhat better. The outbursts have been farther apart, which means the medication cocktail is working. She has also gained some weight, well her's has been considerable, which is sadly a side-effect of her meds. Grades have improved, but her friendships have tanked. She has made 2 "best friends" this year so far, and both have bailed on her because she's so pushy/intrusive. She and I talk about giving space and growing friendships A LOT, but she just doesn't get that best friendships need time and space to develop. Being friends with C is a little like that cartoon where the little dog keeps jumping over the big dog. I think you know which one she is. She's just trying way too hard.

AWESOME ~ We have decided to join our local Y because of this Winter Bear packing we've all gone through, and we're making it our Valentine's to each other. We've been talking about it for a while now, and it is definitely time for all of us to go. My final inspiration was this gal - if she can get up at 4:00 to swim, I can get up at 6:30 to do the elliptical.

WOE ~ We have to take our taxes to an accountant for the first time ever. I am not excited about it even though she seems perfectly pleasant and we have nothing to worry about.

AWESOME ~ I am working on an amazing international project for my qualitative research class. I don't want to say too much about it here, but trust me it's awesome. I am so flattered to be a part of such a big deal.

WOE ~ We just had our 19 month LID anniversary. Could this one be the halfway mark? What got me in the gut was when I had to change my email/Yahoo signature from "LID 6/27" to "LID 6/27/06." That was hard.

AWESOME ~ Finally, I am hopefully making some changes in my life within the next few months, and I'll be blogging all about it. I don't make New Year's resolutions, but I am hoping a change is gonna come.

Behold the Beauty that is an After-Christmas Sale

2007-12-27T07:41:00.000-05:00

Christmas at the Bug house was its usual flurry of presents and family. We had a wonderful time opening and exchanging gifts, learning of my brother and sister-in-law's 4th pregnancy, and eating way too much good food.

As the years go by, B seems to know me better and better. He still needs an Amazon wishlist and still needs some direction, but otherwise he does really well. This year he and C went together to buy my gifts, something that normally doesn't happen. While roaming the mall, C kept insisting that I wanted diamond earrings (I didn't), and that I really needed a pair (I don't, I already have a pair, and very rarely wear earrings anyway). B ignored his gut feeling about the earrings and went ahead and bought a pair. When he came home and emptied his pockets on our dresser, he looked down and saw the earrings I already had lying in the jewelry box. What to do? Well, he gave them to me, along with the receipt and said, "I want to take these back and get something else, but I want you to go with me." Okay. So, along with the return of the ill-fated earrings and my Christmas money from my FIL and my parents, I got this...
for 50% off. Oh, how I love the after-Christmas sales.

P.S. Guess who who ended up with CZ earrings and thinks she's the bomb?

Secret Pal

2007-12-24T06:19:00.000-05:00

For the last 18 months I have participated in a Secret Pal exchange with my June 2006 DTC group. In the beginning, the exchange was exciting and fun, but after 18 months and no end in sight, we decided to put an end to the SP exchange and support each other in different ways.

I have been a truly awful Secret Pal. Although I am grateful, my thanks have been sporadic, and I am beyond tardy with my part of the exchange. My poor Secret Pal hasn't received a gift since September. My heart just quit and the excitement about wrapping tiny dresses and tights, mini cardigans, and baby supplies that gather dust was just gone. This is my public apology to my poor Secret Pal who probably thinks we've dropped the program. We haven't dropped, I just dropped the ball while wallowing in my own self-pity.

Nevertheless, my Secret Pal, the one who sends to me, has never succumbed to the numbing depression and rage that surrounds this interminable wait. She has been a light of hope and kindness throughout these months of pining; a real trooper, you might say. My Secret Pal knows me. She took the time to pay attention to my likes and dislikes, my interests, and the things I value for my daughter-to-be. She acknowledged my hope that Ruby will be a reader and love books as much as I by including book in every package. My Secret Pal gave us Ruby's first trick-or-treat bag, memory book, and toys to be packed for China. She included B in the exchange by sending adorable onsies, T-shirts, and leggings that announce to the world that Ruby's daddy is a rocker and one cool dude. Her conscientious kindness to C's role of jie jie was always heartfelt, and is much, much appreciated. C proudly wears the "Adoption is Love" jelly bracelet, sent almost a year ago, every single day. I would love to post pictures, but my camera cord has been missing since April or May and I haven't replaced it. Take my word for it - she knows me.

Along the way, I began to have an inkling of who My Secret Pal was. Her gifts were too spot on, too close to home. I was amazed at how well she knew me. I figured she visited here, but some of her letters and poems would hit me in the gut and make me think - we've met or should meet, we've talked beyond this exchange. Needless to say, I wasn't too surprised to open my last package to see a flurry of these all over the wrapping paper surrounding a penguin bowling set, a book about penguins, and some awesome penguin pajamas (you are so getting a Christmas picture of Ruby in these!):

Krista, aka Special K, you have been more than a "pal" during these last 18 months, you have become my friend and oftentimes an anchor in this process. Every month your reminders that someone else is out there going through this, that we are not alone was at times, the only acknowledgement outside of B, C and me, that Ruby is coming. You have been my champion, my monthly remembrance, my reality check, and a never-say-die supporter, and I am eternally grateful.

Someday, we will meet, and when we see each other for the first time face-to-face, there will be no awkwardness, no "am I really going to like her" anxiety, and no hesitancy to hug tight and hold on.

Thank you my friend.

ARGH...but There's Good News too

2007-12-05T12:30:00.000-05:00

ARGH:

~Brian and I have been trying to renew our I-171H renewal since August. Yeah. August. We are waiting on one person - Brian's HR bitch. Since our original home study, Brian was promoted and received a considerable raise which impacted our financial status. Because of this, our SW asked for a new letter to verify employment/salary. Every week he has asked his HR bitch for a letter, and every week the promises keep coming. NO letter. He can't go over her head because she's THE Head. Goddammit. I finally emailed our SW and told her the story, because I am sure she thinks we're giving up. She was totally cool about it. But still, how long does it take to write a freaking letter?

~ I have been crap sick for the last week. My doctor and I finally caved and tried a short Rx for 3-5 days of decongestants. I haven't taken a decongestant in probably 20 years because they make my heart beat erratically and make me incredibly hyper. Also, decongestants can cause a raise in blood pressure, so we've avoided them. Can we say Miracle Drug? Granted, I haven't slept more than 3-5 hours at a time in the last 3 days and my entire body is vibrating, but I Can Breathe.

~ I am having a baby shower for my friend Caroline in January. Since this little girl will probably be her one and only, I decided to do it up and ask my cousin to cater. Don't think I didn't pull the family card, because I so did. If not, looks like I'll be up to my elbows in meatballs and pasta salad next month.

Good News:

~ We do not have to pay any fees for our homestudy update!

~ I had a wonderful time at Biltmore with my bloggy posse. I don't think I want' to post more than that. Just good times with good, good friends. Oh how I love them.

~ C is doing really well (Knock Wood Now). The second medication has been in her system for a month, and we see a marked difference. Plus she has her incentives - Alex & Christmas.

~ My last class for the semester is tomorrow. Woot! In the spring, I am only taking one class so I can focus on my Residency Portfolio, which is my admission to candidacy and one giant step closer to dissertation and graduation.

~ Shannon leaves tomorrow to go to China to meet Miss Emily. I can't wait!

Blessings

2007-11-22T16:10:00.000-05:00

Happy Thanksgiving, blogosphere. We've had some blessings over the past few weeks for which I am grateful.

~We introduced a second medication to C's treatment, and after 2 weeks of monitoring, we are starting to see some improvement. She also has an incentive to try harder; an incentive goes by the name of Alex. Alex is her "crush," and if she doesn't get to go to the next dance she, "Might.Just.DIE!" After I patiently explained to her that good behavior (no temper outbursts, better grades) warrants good things (movies with Alex, B & me, slow dancing at the Christmas dance with Alex), we've since seen a complete 180. Seriously. I remind her daily of her goal - Christmas dance, new outfit, Alex, Alex, Alex - and she manages to get it together. Unfortunately, she feels she cannot talk with her mom about Alex, so that makes it a little difficult. Her mother thinks she just wants to go to the dance. C is pretty open with me about her feelings about boys and friendships. Recently, she and I had a very frank discussion about boys and all the hormones, during which C politely informed me that, "Kissing is gross at my age." B was relieved.

~The conference proposal I wrote with two of my peers in my Doc program was submitted a few weeks ago, and we found out yesterday it was accepted. Looks like we will be traveling in March to present in VEGAS - Woot! With this acceptance, I get my second paper published in an international conference proceeding, get to go to Vegas for a week, and only have to present for 15 minutes. How awesome is that? Sadly, B will not be going with me this time. I think he's a little happy because I was definitely going to make him go to several cheesy shows. I am trying to talk my mom into going with me, but I don't think she's up for it. Too bad, we would have great fun.

~ I am currently cooking up a storm and packing like a fiend for my weekend adventure with the Tiara Girls - Susan, Shanny, and Shannon. Yes, Shannon is coming with us. She's on a giddy high because she finally, finally got her referral for Emily and she got a new nephew to boot. The referral was a little shaky for a second, but it's all good now. Go on over an take a gander at the cuteness. Tomorrow morning my very pregnant friend Caroline and I are heading out for the drive down to a little cabin in Asheville, NC. We're leaving early because (from what I hear) pregnant people need lots of pee stops, I tend to get lost in unfamiliar places after dark, and we have to stop for postcards at the WV and VA Welcome Centers per Susan's request. Plus, I am just so damn excited for a weekend of Christmas at Biltmore, junk food, mojitos, board games, and quite possibly some interpretive dancing to hits of the 80's, I would leave today if I could could get by with it.

Bullets

2007-10-27T16:19:00.001-04:00

We are still alive, and to take a page from this gal's book, you're getting the bulleted list of what we've been up to.

* We are still struggling. I eliminated the previous bullet because it's just too painful to read. I believe I jinxed myself. Yesterday was rough. C had an appointment with the pediatrician who not only got to witness the violence, but finally (finally) stood up to C's mom. C needed a flu shot, and even after a mild sedative and numbing cream, she still managed to kick B in the chin, smack his face, bite him 3 times, and kick him in the hand. Yeah, it's bad. The 5 nursing staff who were there to help could not control her, and were freaked. On the Walk of Shame out of the office, the receptionist actually had the balls to tell B, "She really needs some discipline." I'm glad I wasn't there, because I believe I would have lost it. C's pediatrician finally said, "You're medication choice isn't working, you really need to consider ADHD and ODD." B and I have always believed that C has ADHD, and whenever we would go there, C's mom would lose it. Thank god someone else finally said it. Her pediatrician is very proactive and will collaborate with the psychiatrist and therapist. Now, if only her mom will cooperate with them. Keep your fingers crossed that this helps.

* I just finished a major proposal for a conference in Vegas this spring. I worked collaboratively with two other students, and hopefully we'll get in. I have never been to Vegas before. Keep your fingers crossed that we are accepted. Any tips on where to go, eat, and sight see are welcome.

* I've been going to the movies a lot with my friend Caroline. We have started to have a set Sunday movie date. Last week, along with my mom, we saw The Heartbreak Kid. It totally sucked. You know a movie's bad when you have to explain to your mother what a "queef" is. Yeah, it was awesome.

* Speaking of Caroline, she and I are headed down to Biltmore in a few weeks to meet up with the Tiara Girls - Susan and Shanny. Shannon may or may not join us. We are hoping she doesn't, because that means she's gotten her referral for Emily! She will be greatly missed, but we totally understand - her girl comes first. We can't wait for that referral, so we will take pictures. I can't wait to see my bloggy posse. I need the break.

* My niece Evie is talking more and more, and it's pretty hilarious. Last week my brother called the cat, "Fat Ass." Immediately Evie started saying, "Fat Ass, Fat Ass" My brother redirected her and asked her to call the cat by his name, T. J. She said okay, and he didn't think anything about it again. Later that day, she walked over to my SIL, Kim, Evie touched her on the knee and said, "Hey Fat Ass, lookit my boo-boo." Sweet.

* I have a fierce crush on Anthony Bourdain. Fierce. No Reservations is my new favorite show. I am also loving Chuck. Next week Nip/Tuck begins, and soon Project Runway. TV has been my salvation.

* Today marks month 16 of waiting for Ruby.

Being a Mom

2007-10-09T09:27:00.000-04:00

There are many reasons for a lag in my blogging lately. There's a new season of TV to watch, it's conference proposal semester and I am diligently working for a trip to Vegas in the spring, I am depressed about the wait for Ruby... you get the point. Regardless of my regularly scheduled life, the main reason I have not been blogging is because I have been too busy being a mom.

Yeah, you read that correctly.

I am not C's mom, and have never had the delusion that I could ever take the place of her mother. My relationship with C has been one of stepmother - close, but not a decision maker. Nevertheless, I have been playing the role of mom due to the Summer of Hell she has had with her biological mother. Since May, C has been an absolute tyrant with her mother, and truthfully, it's a little embarrassing to talk about.

C has become an asshole. There I said it out loud.

My stepdaughter has become that image of the terrible teenager that all parents dread to think about - moody, tearful, raging, violent, hurtful, deceitful, lying and mean. The weird thing about it is that even though this mood swing has hit across environments (school, home, life), the really violent stuff only happens with her mother. Don't get me wrong, we have our moments where I get the "Stare of Death," but never to the level of destruction that happens at her mother's home. C has hit, kicked, punched, and thrown things at her mother. She has broken the woman's leg, torn ligaments in her thumb, and punched her repeatedly. We are seeing a therapist and a psychiatrist, and have consulted with her pediatrician, and have met with both school personnel and the police. And finally, we have done the one thing we said we wouldn't do - medicated our child.

I am not writing these things to elicit sympathy or advice, I am just passing along the facts of my life as it has unfolded over the past few months. Also, keep in mind, C is compassionate toward most, fun, silly, loving, and has a great sense of humor. Right now she's possessed by hormones and possible mental illness that has been passed down generationally; it says something when 4 generations of women (maternal) in your family have bipolar disorder.

We have also flipped the script with living situation, which is why I haven't been blogging. In the past, C has spent the majority of time with her mother and would come to us 2-3 times a week, depending upon her schedule. For the last 2 months, C has spent most of her time at our house. She goes to her mother's house 2x during the school week, and weekends (aka downtime) is spent here. So far, we have only had one meltdown and one potential meltdown. The one true meltdown was about not wanting to nebulize (whatever) and she almost hit me. Fortunately for us both, she reconsidered. But I am waiting.

99% of the time, it's been good. Very good. We have a routine and it works. We have an unspoken contract that is becoming a written contract where she can earn reward daily. Grounding long-term has never worked with her, and she's too big to spank. We are taking it one day at a time, and are working incredibly hard to stabilize her.

So that's why I have fallen off the face of the earth. That's why I haven't been blogging about my crush on Anthony Bourdain, my loathe of Lynette from Desperate Housewives, and my irritation that Hung won Top Chef. My life is C., because in the face of this emotional chaos, she has turned to me for some reason. Our relationship has grown stronger and stronger, and we are together constantly - day in and day out. C has turned to me for help, and looks to me as that port in her storm. Right now, I have a responsibility to pick up and carry her for a while, and right now that's what I am doing.

I am being a mom, whether I am ready or not.

Why I Suck

2007-09-29T19:29:00.000-04:00

Here's why I suck...

~I've been a little blue lately. This past week was our 15 month LID aniversary. I keep trying to tell myself that 15 is the halfway point, but it just seems like an endless stretch. The only really good news is that the Review Room is on a roll and has approved up through August DTC. With June, July, and August going through review in around 2 months, I am hoping that referrals start to encompass many more days.

~ Well, obviously the blog has not been updated with any relevant information in months.

~ It took me 2 months to mail out Secret Pal gifts. For one Secret Pal, the exchange had ended Aug 1. Yeah, I mailed it last Thursday.

~I also haven't thanked my SP for my latest gift - a book about mom being great, a drum, a rattle toy, and some pretend rattle keys. If you're reading SP, I think you're the bomb, and thanks for all of the goodies.

~ I can't find my camera cord to download any pictures of my SP gifts. I also received an awesome gift from Shelba today, and would love to display the super cool Icky bib and the Rock Star Pediped shoes. Goddammit. I love them both by the way.

~ I have been crappy sick for 2 weeks. I am finishing my second antibiotic and finally feel a little better. At least I don't sound like Froggy from the Little Rascals anymore.

~ I believe I bought a lemon. I have had my new car since May 7th, and so far I have had a flat tire, two scratches, a leak in the air conditioning, and replaced an inside door panel. Monday we are dropping it off to have another door panel replaced. It's getting old, people.

~ My nephew told me that I am the "coolest aunt ever," and then proceeded to point out my forehead wrinkles. He said they were "really big."

~ I went to see this movie with my friend Caroline today, and I made it through the first hour before hot footing it to the bathroom to puke up my popcorn and coke. The cinematography and editing was sped up, choppy, and basically looked like B's grandpa, who had Parkinson's, made a home movie. My motion sickness hit like a wave and I was gone. I had puke on my shirt, face, and in my hair. No, that's not embarrassing. Smelling like vomit I not only had to slink into the theater to tell Caroline I was leaving, I had to slink through the lobby. It was great. I cried for 20 minutes in the car before driving home to shower and brush my teeth.

Okay that's enough whining.

Here's a funny story...

The other night we (B, C, and me) were having a nice dinner at Rio when this family comes in and sits down in the front of the dining room. The only reason I noticed them was because it was a family with 4 boys.

As we were leaving B said, "Hey look whose here!"

C walked up behind the oldest boy, smiled, and said "Hi."

The boy looked at her from head to toe, turned blood red, and said "Wow, you've...you've changed."

C turned blood red and said, "Um, yeah."

Then they just stood there looking at each other and blushing. It took me a minute to realize that this was P, C's 'boyfriend' from her old school, which she left after second grade. The two of them hadn't seen each other for several years. B made small talk and I walked over to pay. I really didn't want C to see me cracking up at the middle school hormone surge.

A few minutes later, on our way to the car, C went on and on about seeing P; she was giddy with the gush/crush.

Finally she walked ahead of us and B turned to me and said. "What the hell was that? It was just so awkward!"

I started laughing and said, "The look on his face?"

B said, "Yeah, did he not recognize her?"

I said, "No honey, that was the 'Oh! You got your Boobies!' look."

Shameless

2007-09-20T10:11:00.000-04:00

I know I've been out of it for a while, and the excuses keep racking up. The big picture is that when we returned from the beach, I basically hit the ground running and didn't stop until yesterday when my doctor gave me an antibiotic, an inhaler, and some serious narcotic cough syrup to knock out the bronchitis and sinus infection that is beating me down.

I have several prolific posts in draft - a love letter, a conversation, and another TV rant, but right now I just can't get my fingers and brain to work well enough to string together very coherent thoughts. Perhaps it's the hydrocodone....

So, for now, a MeMe lifted from The Boob. Thanks buddy!

1. The phone rings, who do you want it to be? Ed McMahon... No one. I hate to talk on the phone.

2. When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart? Depends. If someone is watching or if the cart return is close enough, I will. If I am feeling lazy or the weather is crappy, I will park it next to the car next to me.

3. In a social setting, are you more of a talker or a listener? Total talker. B says that I "hold court."

4. Do you take compliments well? Yes and no. I will accept a complement and say thank you, but it's usually followed up with something self-deprecating or a discounter like, "Oh, this? I got it at Target."

5. Do you play Sudoku? No. I love crossword puzzles, pencil pointers, and logic puzzles, but I hate sudoku.

6. If abandoned alone in the wilderness, would you survive? Reading this made me think of the Styx song Man in the Wilderness. I feel abandoned in this adoption process, and although I am surviving, I feel very alone. Literally stranded and surviving would be questionable; I might make it one night.

7. Do you like nipple rings? No.

8. Did you ever go to camp as a kid? Yes. I went to 4H camp for two consecutive summers. I loved going to camp! It felt like I was hundreds of miles away from my parents, when in reality I was only about 35.

9. What was your favorite game as a kid? My family and I were into board games like Life and Monopoly. I was also a Centipede freak and remember playing it at the Roller Rink Arcade. I would skate in, drop a few quarters, spin the roller ball, kick ass, and skate out. Good times.

10. Could you date someone with different religious beliefs than you? Yes. I dated a lapsed Mormon for a year. We had some pretty interesting conversations.

11. Do you like to pursue or be pursued? Being the aggressive female I am, I am definitely a pursuer. I pursued B and got him. In retrospect, anytime I was the pursued, the guy was usually a creep or a weirdo.

12. Do any songs make you cry? No, not really. If I do tear up, it's usually because the vocal is so pure and beautiful, as well as the circumstances surrounding the listening. The last time this happened was when my mom and I went to see Wicked. Being there with my mom and overwhelmingly excited to see the show was what made me emotional, not just the singing.

13. Are you continuing your education? Yes. Sometimes it seems like that's the only thing that defines me.

14. Do you know how to shoot a gun? No, and I don't want to learn.

15. If your house was on fire, what would be the first thing you grab? Besides my family? The cats and my purse.

16. Do you think more about the past, present or future? Sadly, the past. I tend to relive things in my mind and often think of alternative ways I could have handled myself or the situation. I reflect on my past mistakes and triumphs quite a bit. Perhaps too much.

17. Favorite children's book? Mrs. Piggle Wiggle by Betty MacDonald, illustrations by Hilary Knight.

18. What color are your eyes? Green.

19. How tall are you? Short. 5’6”

20. Have you ever taken pictures in a photo booth? Yes.

21. Where was the furthest place you traveled today? In my mind? China. In reality? The bathroom and back.

22. Do you like mustard? I love yellow mustard and will eat it on just about any meat.

23. Do you look like your mom or dad? I look like my dad in drag. However, I have many facets of my mom's personality that give me away as her daughter - the same spazziness, the same laugh, the same command-your-attention attitude.

24. How long does it take you in the shower? 15 minutes, sometimes less if I am in a hurry.

25. Can you do splits? No. I am pretty flexible for a big girl, but that's too flexible for me.

26. What movie do you want to see right now? 3:10 to Yuma

27. What did you do for New Year's? The same thing I do every year - sleep.

28. Do you think The Grudge was scary? Get real.

29. Do you own a camera phone? Technically no. My work owns the phone I use, but it does have a camera.

30. Was your mom a cheerleader? Yes, until it was discovered that she eloped with my dad. Once they found out she was married, they made her quit.

31. What's the last letter of your middle name? This may be a surprise, but it is not 'S.' It is 'H.'

32. How many hours of sleep do you get a night? On the average between 4-6. Last night I slept 12 - thank you hydrocodone.

33. Do you like care bears? No. I hate Care Bears, sappy characters like Strawberry Shortcake, and most Disney. I also hate dolls. So far, Ruby has 2 stuffed that we have purchased: This Gal and This Guy. As you can see, we're not into cute.

34. What do you buy at the movies? Tickets. Snacks depend on the theater. One of our local theaters has the best nachos. At the others, it's usually popcorn for B and C, and gummy bears or smarties for me.

35. Do you know how to play poker? No not really.

36. Do you wear your seat belt? Is it really an option?

37. What do you wear to sleep? Men's Hanes V-neck and panties.

38. Is your tongue pierced? No, that's nasty.

39. Do you like Liver and Onions? Thanks for making me throw up a little in my mouth.

40. Are you in love? Yes I am.

41. Do you like funny or serious people better? Both.

42. Ever been to L.A.? No, and I don't think I want to go to LA. I'd rather go to NY.

43. Do you steal or pay for your music downloads? I pay because B makes me.

44. Are you a gullible person? Not really. I can get a pretty good read on people.

45. Do you need a boyfriend/girlfriend to be happy? No. I am perfectly happy all by myself.

46. If you could have any job (assuming you have the skills) what would it be? I would like to review trashy books.

47. Are you easy to get along with? For the most part. I am a pretty dynamic person, so my intensity may drive some away (this is a nice way to say I am a spaz).

48. What is your favorite time of day? Early morning with my Darwin and coffee.

49. Would you rather sleep alone or with someone? Alone, which is why B and I have a gigantic bed. We sleep together, but apart.

50. Would you give up the one you love/care for the most to become immortal? No way. I would grieve too hard to be able to enjoy it. What's an everlasting life if B's not there to share it? We chose to grow old together.

51. What animal are you most like? An elephant. I am loyal, dedicated, nurturing, and like to take my time to process.

52. What kind of tea do you like the most? Constant Comment, iced; Earl Grey, hot.

53. Do you laugh at peoples' stupidity? Depends. Usually, yes. I am a terrible fun-maker, especially when it comes to bad fashion.

54. Do you feel guilty for doing so after you're done laughing? Only if the person turns out to have a disability. Otherwise, no. If they're dumb enough to sport that bad fashion, then they need to own it when someone makes fun.

Back

2007-08-29T17:09:00.000-04:00

So, we made it back Saturday from our week-long exile in West Virginia's #1 vacation spot - Myrtle Beach, SC. We were able to be on the ocean or at the pool every day, which is pretty awesome considering it's the beginning of hurricane season.

I won't bore you with the day-to-day itinerary, but will share some highlights:

Fondue rocks, and we wish heartily we had a Melting Pot near home.
Beach chairs are great when sitting in the surf watching the waves roll in.
Sand in your crotch from said beach chair in the surf is not so great.
Assholes who monopolize the pool, play horseshoes in over your stuff so that it's trampled into the sand, and are drunk (excluding the pregnant-but-I-still-wear-a-string-bikini-to-show-my-stretch marks-and-tramp stamp) by 11:00 am, do not make the best neighbors; we were grateful for the "quiet time" policy.
Screened-in porches are the best place to watch nighttime thunderstorms over the ocean.
My mama makes a mean shrimp boil with fresh shrimp, smoked sausage, onion, lemon, corn, new potatoes, and enough spice to slap your grandma. We licked our plates.
I love having vacation with my parents now that we take separate cars to and from our destinations.
C is a total chicken and we wasted 50 bucks on a Haunted Adventure attraction.
Having no access to the Internet is both empowering and crippling at the same time.
C is a terrible liar. She was caught red-handed (or should I say, 'red-gummed'?) in a super doozie about flossing the gunk out of her nasty-ass red, white and blue braces. This one took a bit of forethought and effort; thus resulting in the wrath of me, and the subsequent "Life is Hell" attitude she unleashed on everyone.
Sand does bizarre things to your feet, and my pedicurist Jenny cussed me in English and in Vietnamese the entire time she repaired the damage to my soles and polish.

Sayonara Sweethearts...

2007-08-18T06:28:00.000-04:00

~ 10 minutes until we pack the car

~ 9 months planning

~ 8 hours driving

~ 7 Sun & Fun-filled days

~ 6 Novels

~ 5 Beach Towels

~ 4 Pairs of shoes

~ 3 thick fashion magazines

~ 2 swimsuits

~ 1 Industrial strength spray sunscreen...

~See you on the flip side! We're off to the beach!~

Voila!

2007-08-10T20:23:00.000-04:00

1. Yes it is true that I was recruited by the Marines when I was in high school. To the point where they tracked me down at home and then showed up at the school to meet me and a couple other students. Seriously. Even then, I was curvy and (at the time) was in a 36DD bra. Can you imagine me running at Boot Camp? The only running I did in high school was treading the boards of our local theater's stage. Obviously, they really didn't want me; I so did not enlist.

2. When I was 5, I was diagnosed with ADHD. My pediatrician wanted to medicate me, but my parents refused. I did not make my first A (outside of Drama and Choir classes) until I was in the 10th grade. I have learned to cope. As an adult I have developed my career around working with people who have mental illness or mental retardation. I think my childhood issues have had a direct effect on every aspect of my life - for the best.

3. I am so left-handed it's sick. I cannot drive a stick shift, knit, crochet, shuffle cards, or twirl a baton. So, if you haven't figured it out, this is the Stinkin' Lie!

4. Yes I have had some brushes with death..

a. I have been in 14 car accidents, 2 of which I had to be "assisted" from the vehicle by firefighters.

b. I was a bank teller in college and was robbed at gunpoint.

c. My college fiance's stepdad was re-habbing a house for us to live in when we were married. My fiancee lived there with a roommate, and the plan was that after we married he and I would live in the house for free, and my fiancee would manage the small apartment building across the driveway. My fiance's stepdad was a total slum lord and he would hire ex-cons on Work Release to do construction and maintenance around his rental properties. One guy was a known murderer. I knew this because he was my dad's best friend's step-brother, and when he killed and was jailed the first time, my family was freaked. I tried to tell my future FIL about him, but he didn't check him out. My fiancee and I had a huge fight over the whole situation, because he thought I was being reactionary and accusatory. I knew the truth! I refused to go to the house or stay there as long as that man was employed. About a month into the guy's employment he murdered a woman who lived in one of the apartments across the driveway. He stabbed her with my fiance's roommate's diving knife, planted my fiance's watch in the kitchen, and stole her jewelry, money, credit cards, and car. She was a social worker and knew him from where he was doing construction on our house. He went to her door and asked for her help. She trusted him and he killed her. To me, that's a little too close for comfort.

5. I am extremely ticklish and cannot stand for someone to touch the backs of my legs, especially on the backs of my knees. It's been like this for years. I don't know why, but I believe it's a visceral reaction to too much sensation. It's a total sensory overload, and as soon as someone touches me there, it automatically makes my stomach roll and I feel queasy. I will physically react by kicking out and gagging from the nausea. During my annual exam a couple of years ago, my GYN put his hand around my knee to check my reflexes and I almost took out his teeth. He doesn't check my reflexes anymore. I know. I am a freak.

Thanks for playing along!

I Ain't No Stinking Liar

2007-08-07T09:34:00.000-04:00

So A&MG started this, and Connie and wzgirl have followed suit. Now, because I am such a MeMe 'ho, I have to participate.

Four of these fascinating facts are true, and one is not. What's your guess?

1. I was recruited by the Marines when I was in high school.

2. I was diagnosed with ADHD as a child, and it was predicted that I would not make it through high school.

3. I am ambidextrous.

4. I have had many too close for comfort brushes with death, but have managed to come out physically and emotionally unscathed.

5. If someone touches the backs of my knees, it makes me physically sick; I get nauseous and I gag.

So, which one of these is a big fat lie? You tell me!

36 Follow Up

2007-08-04T08:21:00.001-04:00

So, I have no idea what caused my birthday post to come up as August 2nd, my birthday is the 3rd. Anyway, it's corrected.

Walternatives - you were not bleated or belated. I had my own damn date wrong! Whoops!

I guess I am just getting old.

Our dinner was great. Lots of good Italian food. Even though my entree was delish, the olive bread was probably my favorite part of the dinner. We had good fun, and it was hilarious watching Noah dive into a meatball as big as his fist.

C elated us with the good news that her mom finally allowed her to shave her legs! Progress, people, progress!

All in all it was a good birthday. Lots of good wishes and some pretty sweet loot. On the gift front:

~My parents and my brother/SIL went together and bought me a new set of cookware. My pots and pans were totally ghetto and desperately needed replaced.

~Caroline gave me some Fiesta, a planter in turquoise and a groovy devilled egg platter in red. She also gave me a very soft, comfy nightgown, which I am wearing right now.

~My pal Lori gave me a funny card and a gift card to one of our local bookstores, Taylor Books, which is right down the street from our office. I think I am going to buy this.

~Finally, my sweet boy, B surprised me with this. It is glorious.

36

2007-08-03T08:24:00.000-04:00

Today's my birthday. Huzzah! I love, love, love my birthday. Tonight the family, a few friends, and I are celebrating at Sohos, an lovely Italian restaurant located in our city's Farmer's Market. The city rehabbed an old train station to create the inside shops of Farmer's Market, and it's really quite lovely. I am so excited!

Here are 36 things about me:

1. My birthday is my favorite day of the year.

2. B & I knew each other 11 months before we eloped; I knew I would marry him on our first date.

3. B is my best friend - He lets me be the boss.

4. I am a doctoral student, and I am extremely competitive about grades.

5. I am a pretty good singer, and I sing very loudly in my car. My car is my stage.

6. I am a child of the 1980s and love 80s music.

7. I am hoping to change my career.

8. We are adopting from China - duh.

9. I have met wonderful people through the Internet, and I love my Tiara Girls posse: Shanny, Shannon and Susan; they are the best bloggy buds.

10. Television is my crack.

11. I think the best book ever written is To Kill a Mockingbird even though thinking that makes me cliched and pretentious.

12. I have had surgery every three years or so since 1996. In 2003, I had a breast reduction and because of complications, I almost lost my right breast. I have terrible scarring where the sutures busted open because my breast abscessed. Twice.

13. I will not drink milk. I think it tastes like blood.

14. I do not like chocolate. I know this makes me weird.

15. I have an unnatural obsession with celebrity gossip, especially reading about them in magazines and on the Internet. I often talk about them like they are personal friends.

16. Coffee is my favorite drink. Hot with non-dairy creamer. No sugar.

17. I could eat chips and salsa from our local Mexican restaurant at least 5 times a week and never get tired of it.

18. I am crazy in love with my nieces and nephews. They are the best kids in the world.

19. My hands often look like they've been mauled by a dog. I never use lotion because I hate the way it feels, and I bite my cuticles too much. I do not bite my nails, but I keep them cut very short because I type for hours every day.

20. Sometimes I feel like I was never meant to be a parent.

21. I finished the latest Harry Potter and was happy to see the series end. It was time.

22. I think about my or someone in my family's death every day. This does not mean I am suicidal or wish them dead. I just think about what it will be like. It stresses me out.

23. I am a worrier (if you haven't figured it out by now).

24. While on vacation about 15 years ago with a friend, I met and was smitten by a sailor from Australia. He was an incredible amount of fun, and occasionally I wonder how he's doing over on the other side of the world.

25. All of my ex-boyfriends moved out of state after we broke up. Only one moved back. I wonder what that says about me?

26. We are taking our first family vacation in 4 years (that's longer than a weekend) later this month. I think about it every day.

27. I listen to audio books in the car and when I am cleaning house.

28. I am a total procrastinator and put all things off until the last minute. I plan, write, scheme, etc... a million times in my head before anything ever comes to fruition.

29. I am flatulaphobic. Please don't ever fart in my presence. I will leave immediately.

30. I want a bigger diamond. I am not sentimental about my engagement ring, and would like to see it grow as my marriage grows. I am ready to trade up.

31. B and I planned on taking an Alaskan cruise in 2009 for our 10th anniversary and to celebrate my completion of my doctorate. I think we'll be in China.

32. I am addicted to salt, even though it makes my entire body fill up like a sponge.

33. I am not loving my new car. I wish I did, it's much nicer than my old one.

34. I only shave my legs 1x a week. I have little to no body hair, but I have very thick hair on my head. Weird.

35. I can't stand the smell of vanilla it triggers migraines.

36. I have to work on my birthday, so I am off...

Lucky 13

2007-07-27T17:15:00.000-04:00

So how cool is it that we got the good news on our 13 month LID anniversary?

The stress and worry about making it through this last, big hoop is over.

No more crying in the Macy's baby dept...

No more restraining my lust for baby things that call to me...

Definitely allowing for more major purchase excuses...

Off to celebrate!

Give Her a Holla!

2007-07-26T22:28:00.000-04:00

As of today, or maybe last night, our single Tiara Girl, Shannon, got engaged to Mustachio (Tony) and she'll soon be a Smug Married like the rest of us old broads.

Skip on over there and check out the rock and give Shannon and Tony a big congrats!

Milestone

2007-07-20T20:19:00.000-04:00

C started her period today.

Now we have an answer to the Linda Blair mood swings, greasy nose outbreak, and all around lousy disposition. Well, maybe not an answer, perhaps an excuse.

I was out of town for work and right in the middle of an assessment with a family when my phone started vibrating. I ignored it. I knew C was with B at the house; she loves it when I am out of town overnight, she and her dad will lie around like slugs watching movies and eating Ramen noodles. Whenever I am out of town, B will call me throughout the day to update me on his daily itinerary - whether I want it or not. When it began vibrating again less than 5 minutes later, I began to worry. I excused myself, and answered with, "What's wrong?"

C very excitedly told me the lowdown and when I said, "You know you need to..." she cut me off and proceeded to tell me how she took care of business by getting herself taken care of, finding the pads, telling her dad, calling her mom, my mom and my sister-in-law to let them ALL know that she finally started. We have had many discussions about where the pads are in the bathroom and the process she needs to take, so she was totally prepared. I am so proud of her. It's been slow, but I think she's finally growing up a little. I like it.

Now if only we can convince C's mom that it is So. Not. Cool. to have Sasquatch legs when 6th grade starts next month, and allowing C to shave her legs is in everyone's best interest.

Wish us luck.

Still Kicking

2007-07-04T07:36:00.000-04:00

I'm not going to lie and say that things around here have gotten any less stressful, because they haven't. I am limping through trying to get back on track.

~The fever issue turned out to be a pretty serious case of strep, which I've never had in my life. Not the Strep Throat kind, but a systemic kind. Weird, I know. The massive dose of antibiotics seems to be helping, and I am starting to fell less like a zombie in the evenings. I am glad, bacause I was really starting to worry.

~C is still being a total shit, and this weekend was no exception. She and her mom were doing better for a while, but this weekend was a bust. On Friday, C's mom and her got a wild hair up their asses to dye her hair hot, electric pink. Yeah. It was supposed to be highlights, but turned into a Run Lola Run look that was pretty freaking nasty. It ended up frying her hair and, because I'm always the bad guy, on Saturday I ended up taking her to the salon for repair. Well, I am not shelling out 100+ bucks for her mom's stupid ass mistake, so she left the salon with a very short, Kiera Knightly type do, which was a shock to her system because her hair was past her shoulders. Many tears have occurred since then, but I believe a lesson was learned by C, which is this (I hope) "My mom has no sense of socially appropriate fashion/beauty, so listening to her wild schemes to 'do something cool' should be weighed heavily before I agree to them." Personally, I think the cut, which got out a lot of the pink along with copious shampoos with Dawn dish liquid, looks uber-cute and is she finally looks like the adolescent she's supposed to be.

~School is still whipping my ass. I completed my phenomenology presentation with my group. We lost some points (14) because we didn't do the juvenile "Let's play Jeopardy!" type presentation and felt that since the class has critiqued and reflected on the topic, they wouldn't need a regurgitation of theorists. He offered us an opportunity to make a chart for the class (like the other two groups have already done) and we turned it down. We are standing together on this one. Besides, we all have bonus points in the bank, so our grades weren't affected. I moved onto postructuralism, which was even more confusing than the other, but must have gotten something from it, because I did well on my critique. One more to go.

~ I am insanely jealous because the Georgia Bloggy Bash is coming up, and I am saving the bulk of my leave time for our beach trip in August and for a fall weekend get together of the Tiara Girls. I just couldn't take an extra 3-4 days off. Boo. Hiss. It would have also been a 2-for-1 because I could have gone to see/visit my friend Kathy and her family (including the newest addition of Mr. S.). Dang. So, I am taking a day trip with my mom to see Wicked in Columbus. We leave today and come back tomorrow. We always have a good time, and I am stoked to see the musical. I think I need a little break.

~B and I marked one year LID on the calendar on the 27th. To us, it was just another day in hundreds that are slowly moving along. I think I would feel better if we could just hear something positive. Send good vibes for a clean Review Room evaluation. Perhaps if we get through the RR, I can begin to see a pinpoint of light at the end of this long tunnel.

Good Times

2007-06-24T08:04:00.000-04:00

In the midst of all my stress, I was able to take a break and ventured out last night to see B's band, Whistlepunk playing at the Vandalia Lounge. The guys have added a lady to the mix, Miss Karen, and she does a stupendous job. Before, the guitarist Spencer was singing, and although nice, his voice doesn't carry the richness of Karen's. Check them out and have a listen here. I don't get to see B play as often as I'd like because they usually start way past my bedtime (midnight or later) at some pretty skeevy places, so it was good to hear them live.

I Should be Packing

2007-06-17T20:38:00.000-04:00

I've been a little enmeshed in school and work lately. I should be packing for an overnight business trip for which I have to leave at the crrrack tomorrow, but instead I am typing and surfing.

The stress levels are pretty high. As a matter of fact I can feel the cortisol pumping up my abdomen as I type. When I get like this, I usually whip out a MeMe or a list. This time, you get a list of what's been happening...

1. Remember this post when I talked about how I ended up with a fever after buying my car? Well the fever's still lingering. I have been tracking it for over a month now and almost every evening around 5-6 I carry a low grade fever (99-100) for a few hours. Oh, and guess what? My doctor (the one I like) has moved out of the county! WTF? So when I went in about my fever a few weeks ago, I saw one of the other partners in the practice. He appears to be a very competent doctor, but he is so incredibly short. Short people don't bother me, but this guy is wee. So wee, that even though I was sitting on the reclining table and he was standing next to me, I had to bend over so he could look in my ears. I am only 5'6". I go back next week with my fever diary and we go from there. It's not my thyroid or my hormone levels, so we don't know what it may be. My gut says that it's arthritis. I hope it's arthritis and not something else. We'll see.

2. School is wearing me down, man. I have a pretty hardcore class this summer - Curriculum Theories. The dude who teaches this course has a rigid timeline - critique due one week; reflection due the next. Each critique of the individual theory is approximately 20-25 pages long with at least 15 resources, and the reflections are between 6-8 pages. It sucks hard. This week I am on a bit of hiatus because my group presents (for 3 hours) about our selected theory - Phenomenological Curriculum Theory. ZZzzzzzzzzzzzz....

3. C has been an absolute terror to her mother over the last few months. It's ugly and we are struggling to keep an even keel. Lots of crisis intervention and spending more time with her than usual. C's a very big 11 1/2 year old (5'4" and 14olbs - size 10 women's shoe!), and she's pretty much taken the bully route with her mom. Now, her mom's no petite wilted flower, but the woman is still recuperating from a pretty nasty bout of thyroid cancer. C's mom is also a weak disciplinarian; a yeller who never follows through with groundings or punishments. We don't have these issues at our house because C has always known the layout of our family dynamics from the beginning: We are a team, but I am the captain. Period. I refuse to mediate between the two, so B gets stuck in that role (too much lately). We just have to wait and see how things pan out.

4. I have only had my new car for a month and it already has a scratch. I don't know how it happened, but I am pissed. B's car was vandalized Friday night and now he's missing a back window on the driver's side. I am pissed about that as well, but not for the same reason. The scratch I know I did not do; however, B should know better to leave an empty laptop case in the backseat. GRR.

5. My niece Evie (aka Chubs, who is no longer chubby) has really warmed up to me lately. Every time I see her we have a blast with her latest - shaking hands. She'll come up and say, "Hi Debbie. Watch you doin'?" or "Hi Debbie, I Evie, Friend." I also get really sweet snooches when we say goodbye.

6. I am quite happy about the new seasons of Hell's Kitchen and Top Chef. Let's just say that Gordon Ramsey and Tom Collichio can be added to my Sexy Ugly Boys list.

I just noticed the "Aren't I a badass?" chin grasp they both have going on.

He's Back!

2007-06-06T18:51:00.000-04:00

Well, at least for tonight. Marcel and the other 3 members of the Season 2 Top Chef Final Four are on tonight at 10:00. Woot!

Next week, Season 3: Top Chef Miami begins.

Oh BTW, B surprised me with a 37 inch flat screen as an 8 year anniversary gift (he so knows the way to my heart)! Now I can watch Marcel and all of his freakalicious hair in technicolor glory.

Overheard

2007-05-31T23:03:00.000-04:00

Conversation between My mom, Noah, and C on Memorial Day

N: Hey, my birthday's coming up. It's June 25th

C: Yeah I know.

My Mom: C's birthday is the same day as Jesus' - Christmas Day.

N: (turning to C) Are you married to Jesus?

C: No, that was Mary Mandolin and her birthday's in the summer.

XXOOXX

2007-05-28T17:50:00.000-04:00

Let me extend a big snootchy thank you to all of my bloggy peeps who showed me the love on my last post. Yep, I was a big old Debbie Downer.

Y'all are awesome.

11 Down

2007-05-27T09:39:00.000-04:00

How many more to go?

Although this blog was supposed to be a journal of our wait time for Ruby; a catalogue of the trials and tribulations of our adoption journey, it has become so much less. A venue for memes and way too much discussion about TV shows that do little more than rot my brain and unproductively fill my time. Unfortunately this won't be changing because I just wont talk about anything else.

Really, what more is there to discuss?

Should I provide a detailed description of how I have begun to take all of my Secret Pal gifts and place them in Rubbermaid containers in the basement because I don't have the energy/wherewithal/heart to decorate and look at an empty room?

Shall I discuss my inability to walk through children's departments without feeling like I have a gaping hole in my chest and my empty hands aching to hold onto the smaller grip of my daughter?

How about I tell you how I get physically sick whenever someone asks me, "What's happening with the adoption? When will it happen?"

Or finally, let's talk about how I worry daily that we'll be questioned or booted during Review and have to start the clock all over again, or (worst case scenario) watch a year's worth of time, emotion, and hope swirl down the drain?

I can't talk about it. I won't.

Happy LID anniversary to me.

Interview

2007-05-19T20:45:00.000-04:00

Shanny offered the crack pipe and sent me some interview questions. I am such a MeMe 'ho, I couldn't resist!

1. If you were forced to give up one of your five senses, which would you pick?

More than likely my sense of smell. Especially right now, because B just farted and I am throwing up a little in my mouth. No seriously, smell. I have a hyper-sensitive nose, and even slight scents bother me and tend to trigger migraines. Vanilla-based scents are the worst. Also, if I gave up smell, perhaps my taste would be a little off and then I would eat less. It could be a 2-for-1 bonus.

2. You win the big jackpot in the lottery. $50 million. After you give to charity, pay for another adoption, buy new houses and pay off bills, what's the first truly indulgent thing you spend your money on? And it has to be just for you.

I would get 3 things. A personal trainer/chef. I feel better when I exercise, I just need someone kicking my butt to get it together and make the effort. Having someone pushing me through would be a huge help. I would also buy a couple of miniature Boston Terriers to be my sidekicks. Because I work/travel so much, having a dog isn't really an option. I would definitely get my pups. I would name them Boo Radley and Calpurnia.

3. If a movie was made based on your life, who would play you and your husband & why?
Well, there's no doubt that Phillip Seymour Hoffman would play B. He is B's brother of another mother, and the resemblance is somewhat disconcerting. Especially in MI:III where PSH is heavier. Now me? That's hard. On this site, my celebrity match is The Hoff; however, I don't think I want The Hoff to play me. So I think I'll go with Sara Rue. She's funny, curvy, and cute. A little bit like me.

4. Would you walk naked down your street, with all your neighbors watching, for $1 million?

Absolutely. I'd be smiling and waving, thinking to myself I will never have to see these people again. Ever. I am soooo moving outta here.

5. If you could live anywhere in the world for a year (money is no object) where would you live ?

I would probably stay right where I am and just move into a different house. I would use the money-that-is-no-object to buy a tricked out RV so B and I could hit the road and see America. Also, since money-is-no-object we would have Boo Radley and Calpurnia with us. We would take the scenic route to see all of the weird and wonderful sites in our country, eat at funky diners along the way, and take pictures of the dogs peeing on every"Welcome to Our State" sign we pass.

If you’d like to participate, here are the RULES.
If you want to participate:
1. Leave me a comment saying, “Interview me”, or words to that effect.
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions, but I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You have to include this explanation, and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Yes!

2007-05-16T22:12:00.000-04:00

Go Blake!

I was incredibly excited to see that my current fave, Blake Lewis, made it to the final 2 tonight on a American Idol. No more No-Neck Dolittle!

Also, getting to see last year's fave, Elliot Yamin was an added bonus. His cd is growing on me. I am especially fond of his cover of Donny Hathaway's A Song for You.

Walking, Riding, and Wiggling

2007-05-07T20:37:00.000-04:00

I've been pretty busy lately, and this weekend was no exception. Early Saturday morning, along with several of my coworkers and friends, I walked a mile for breast cancer research. Our state hosted the Susan G Koman Race for the Cure and raised over 75,000.00. Everyone should contribute to this cause; there are 2.3 breast cancer survivors in the United States because Early Detection is the Best Protection! One of those survivors is my friend Caroline's mom, Rose. Last year she found a lump early and was able to be treated with minimal invasion.

Here we are near the finish line, walking for Rose!
L to R: Caroline, Billie, Thea, Mary, & me.

We walked our mile, now walk yours! Support Breast Cancer Research!

Later that day, B and I drove over to the Hyundai dealership and traded in my beloved Sorento for this hot little number.

A 2007 Tucson in Mesa Red.

I loved my Sorento, but 18 MPG highway at 3.09 a gallon was killing me. I spent 120.00 on gas in 2 weeks! It was any easy trade and my MPG went up to 24-25 highway. Bonus! The saleswoman was hilarious, and we rocked out to great 80s tunes while they did our paperwork. Spending big amounts of money stresses me out, and usually I get really grouchy and panicky. This time I ended up with a fever. Weird.

On Sunday we BBQed with my parents and my brother's family, which is always fun. Noah had a good time showing us his wiggly front tooth, and later that evening pulled it out. Check him out!

Victim

2007-04-27T07:56:00.000-04:00

I work for a private company that contracts with public programs. A little confusing, but it works. Prior to this job, I never had to deal with performance evaluations and merit increases. The state or non-profit company I worked for at the time would do an across the board cost-of-living increase every year or so and everyone got the same thing. Now, I go through a 3 step process that involves self-evaluation, discussion, and eventual merit increase based on performance. I just had my final meeting last week and did better than I expected, so the mood was high when I called the automatic teller to check my direct deposit amount. The AT gave a balance first. I have been a little lax in the checkbook balancing, so I opted to hear the last 10 transactions because I had no idea how much of that balance was my paycheck and how much was left over from last time. Here's what I heard:

Withdraw 4/19 10.59
Withdraw 4/19 10.59
Withdraw 4/19 10.59
Withdraw 4/19 10.59
Withdraw 4/19 10.59
Withdraw 4/19 10.59
Direct Deposit 4/19 $$$$$$$ (Did you really think I was going to tell you how much I get paid?)
Withdraw 4/19 23.05
Withdraw 4/19 10.59
Withdraw 4/19 10.59

After the first couple of repeats of, "Withdraw 4/19 10.59," I thought maybe the computer had a glitch. Wrong. I called my local branch and found out that someone used my debit card to purchase copious amounts of memberships to a couple of different online retailers. The bank immediately blocked the card and told me to come in to take care of the paperwork. We discovered that the bulk of the transactions took place with 2 retailers I never use (they shall remain nameless because I will not promote them even negatively). One would think that after 17 purchases on the same day, using the same credit/debit card number, someone would be suspicious. Nope. They pushed them all through.

Between Friday, Saturday, and Tuesday I filled out 35 affidavits for 35 transactions and I am currently waiting for the bank to refund around 400 bucks. Everyone at the bank knows me by name now, due to the serious amount of quality time I spent with Brent, the bank manager. I believe Brent may name his second child after me.

You know what made me the maddest? The fact that the criminal didn't go for the big stuff. Penny-ante shit at 10 or 6 dollars a shot x 35. What a waste of time.

My theory is - If you're going to violate someone, be a real criminal, not a petty thief. At least when you go to jail, you'll have something to brag about.

Sexy Ugly Boys

2007-04-21T10:24:00.000-04:00

Around the time of my TV Rant that contained a brief love letter and girly squee over Eddie Izzard, wzgirl said, "So you like Sexy-ugly, too?" At time I had a brief, "yeah I do" moment and let it go. Well, last night the thought about how much I like sexy-ugly boys hit home when I realized that every Friday night (EST), time stops between 9:00-10:00 so I can watch my current crush mumble through an hour of pretty bad TV.

For some reason, it's always the best friend of the sexy leading man or the weird brother of the beautiful leading woman that gets me. I do not feel the Brad Pitt love. Ever.

Now don't get me wrong, I love a pretty boy. I love Julian McMahon. Lots and lots. I also really appreciate many other handsome men. But I'm telling you, it's the SUB that crushes me. There's just something about the weird, quirky ones.

My sexy-ugly boys:

Who are yours?

One Question Answered

2007-04-19T07:57:00.000-04:00

It's about damn time.

Who, What, When, Where, and Why?

2007-04-15T10:50:00.000-04:00

Some questions I've been pondering. What are your thoughts dear reader?

What the hell is going on with this Sanjaya thing?

Why am I almost 36 and have more pimples now than at 16, and why am I compelled to pick at them and create scars on my aging, tender skin?

Where can I find really cute summer flats that fit? I have a wide ball of foot/toe area and a narrow heel. Every flat I find fits in the front and flops in the back.

What is Jay Z talking about in the song Big Pimpin', when he talks about "spinning the cheese;" is that really what he's saying, and if so, what is he referring to?

Why is it that people will release intensely personal blogs, share all of their emotions, day-by-day life events, tears, joys, fears, and turmoil then shut down? I understand the purpose of going private; to me, that's a non-issue. However, when a blogger has hundreds of readers hanging onto their daily posts, there has to be some obligation to the reader and when does that end (or start)? What obligation does a blogger have to his/her readers to keep going? Why is it that the reader feels some emotional tie to the blogger, and why are we so disappointed when it ends? Who gets the shaft - the blogger who feels compelled to be witty and produce, or the reader who invests time and emotion in this person who has let it all hang out for years then is cut off without warning?

What's going on with women today who feel like they must participate in a show like The Bachelor or Flava of Love? When did women become this desperate for a taste of fame or for a man?

Who can tell me where to find a mascara that doesn't flake or cause raccoon eye?

When does career happiness take place of career advancement or change? I spend a lot of time thinking about this, and may take a plunge into something different. My job and my doc program have 2 completely different paths. I will not advance or move in my job after I finish this program, so I am constantly wondering when and how to make the change.

San Antonio

2007-04-01T22:28:00.000-04:00

Per Johnny's recommendation, I decided not to blog about our recent trip to San Antonio until we returned. I hinted several times on the blog that we were headed to Texas, but never said when we were going to be gone. Not that I believe any of the few readers I have were going to rob our house.

B and I had a wonderful week in San Antonio at the 2007 SITE conference. Instead of comprehensive exams, my university requires doc students to complete a Residency Portfolio. The RP is a capstone experience that each student must complete prior to acceptance to candidacy. I am pretty far into the process. I have developed an online course, taught said course for the last 2 semesters, and presented at our bi-annual student seminar. With this conference, I added 2 more artifacts to my RP - a published paper and a presentation at an international conference. My presentation was part of an 8 person symposia about the RP process and multimedia integration. My piece was about the mentoring relationship during the development of my course. It went off without a hitch, and I was especially flattered because one person (who wasn't B) came just to hear me speak! How cool is that?

On to the trip...

Weather: San Antonio is beautiful, clean and breezy. When the weather was good, it was great. However it managed to rain all day on Monday, and spit in fits on Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday. Wednesday was perfect.

Flight: No big deal. The flights down were cramped and we were seated in the very back of a small plane across from the toilets. Nice. The return flights were just as cramped, but we were farther up the plane. Lots of turbulence from the storms, but otherwise okay. Dramamine is my friend.

Food: Everyone I've met who's gone to San Antonio says that the food is wonderful. To me, it was okay. We had good meals and bad meals.

~On Sunday and Tuesday we ended up at this place, it wasn't on purpose, it just happened that way. The best things were the margaritas and the chicken flautas.

~On Wednesday we went out with our group to this place, and I had my best meal in San Antonio - penne with chicken, spicy chilies and tomato cream sauce. Dang, it was awesome.

Wednesday we ate at this crap place because we were stuck in the Riverwalk Mall and later had junk food at the Spurs game. Wednesday was a bad food day all around.

~Thursday those of us left at the conference had our last supper at this place. Meh. Not my favorite. You can swing a cat in our state and hit a steakhouse. This was my worst meal.

~Breakfast was in the hotel. I loved the chef; he made me tomato and cheese omelets every day. It didn't hurt that he was really cute and had sexy tattoos on both forearms.

~I also discovered these, and I am sad, sad, sad because they are not offered in my state. Actually, it's probably a good thing. If I ate these all of the time, I would have cankles and probably weigh 4000 lbs.

Fun:The Riverwalk that winds through the city is beautiful and relaxing. We walked our legs off every day.

~Before we took our car back on Monday, we went to the Quarry Market and shopped, but it was like any other mall.

~Wednesday was perfect, and was Big Fun Day. We shopped at the Riverwalk mall on Wednesday, and I ended up bringing home many T-shirts and lots of this stuff, which smells like a dream. After shopping we went to the Alamo and then took a River Taxi back to our hotel. Later the entire group of us went to the San Antonio/New Orleans NBA game and were so far up in the arena I got vertigo! Check out the pics if you don't believe me!

Filler

2007-03-31T11:27:00.000-04:00

B and I got back from San Antonio late yesterday, and I'll blog as soon as I download pictures. So, because I know you've been missing me, here's a little meme...

1. Can you cook? Yes, which is a large part of my weight problem. My specialities are ribs, pulled pork BBQ, macaroni and cheese, mashed potatoes, and a mean pot of chicken chili stoup.

2. What was your dream growing up? To be famous. I would (and continue to) fantasize about walking the red carpet with a really sexy guy (lately it's been James Spader - shut up!) in a rad black dress.

3. What talent do you wish you had? Taking a good photograph either as the photographer or as the subject. I would love to be able to take creative photos with accurate lighting and neat content. As the subject, I would like to not look like I was smelling something, which is what I look like in most pictures of me.

4. Favorite place? In my bed with fresh sheets, my head in B's lap, a big glass of ice water, and the remote control.

5. Favorite vegetable? Brussels Sprouts. Yum.

6. The last book you read? I have read 2 over the last week. Speak No Evil by Allison Brennen, #2 in a trilogy. It was somewhat disappointing. She's done better. I also read Lover Revealed by J. R. Ward, #4 in the Black Dagger Brotherhood series. Very, very good. Can't put down good. Oh how I love me some vampires.

7. What zodiac sign are you? Leo

8. Any Tattoos and /or Piercings? No tattoos, and just the 1980s requisite 2 ear piercings. I rarely wear earrings, but will occasionally poke some through all 4 holes to make sure I still have the option of wearing 2 pairs at the same time.

9. Worst Habit? I have many. The two that happen the most now are: Interrupting and biting my cuticles.

10. Do we know each other outside of this blog? I got this from Krista whom I've not had the pleasure of hanging with, but know that I will someday. She's the bomb, yo.

11. What is your favorite sport? To play? None. To watch? I am not a sports fan. I will watch soccer and men's swimming. I will also watch basketball, which you will read about when I post about my recent trip to San Antonio.

12. Negative or Optimistic attitude? Dude, when it comes to self matters, I am so negative. I am a "glass if full of poison" girl. However, I try to be optimistic with my friends and family. Stiff upper lip and all.

13. What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator? Go through my purse. Balance my checkbook. File my nails. Write a grocery list. Sing.

14. Worst thing to ever happen to you? I've had bad things happen. I've been in a bank robbery, 14 car accidents, had surgery complications and almost lost my right breast, had a too-close-for-comfort situation with a murderer (I will blog about this), and recently lost 3 dogs and 3 family members in the last 3 years. I have bad ju-ju, man. So far though, nothing has been worse than going through the pain of infertility and getting my ass dragged through the slowest adoption ever.

15. Tell me a weird fact about you: Oh where to begin? I have to either have my butt rubbed or rub my own butt every night as I am going to sleep. I love Mexican/Spanish food but will die of starvation before I'll eat guacamole. I cannot touch a cotton ball - the sensory overload is too much to handle. B and my friend Alicia really get off on torturing me about this by leaving little cotton balls on my chair. I hate whistling with a passion. Fingernails on a blackboard passion.

16. Do you have any pets? Yes, two cats - Darwin and Eliza.

17. Do you know how to do the Macarena? God no. I also refuse to learn the Electric Slide.

18. What time is it where you are now? 11:10 am

19. Do you think clowns are cute or scary? Clowns scare the shit out of me. I had a boyfriend in college who wanted to be a clown. He would drag me to the circus every time they came to town. He would totally dress up in clown gear, get his face painted, and act like an idiot. What a dork.

20. If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be? I would lose weight. Duh.

21. What color eyes do you have? Green

22. Ever been arrested? No

23. Bottle or Draft? Ice cold bottle. I am not a beer drinker, so I really don't care.

24. If you won $10,000 dollars today, what would you do with it? Pay off my car, then stick the payment amount in savings.

25. What kind of bubble gum do you prefer to chew? Hubba Bubba bubble gum. I especially like Original and Grape/Berry. I chew lots of Hubba Bubba when I drive, and I blow huge bubbles popping it the whole time.

26. Which is your favorite bar to hang at? Get real. That would cut into my TV time.

27. Do you believe in ghosts? Hell yeah, and they scare the pee out of me.

28. Favorite thing to do in your spare time? Duh - watch TV! I also read trashy books (see #6).

29. Do you swear a lot? Umm, yes.

30. What is your favorite swear word? Goddamn.

31. Biggest pet peeve? People who bring their children to Rated R movies.

32. In one word, how would you describe yourself? Driven

Killer

2007-03-24T15:10:00.000-04:00

Meet Darwin

Darwin is our 7 year old, 15 pound beast, who frequently stalks, attacks, and kills my rolled socks, beats down his sister Eliza, and very loudly lets me know when it is time for his nightly snack. He is a total drag queen who grooms so much that brushing his 3-4 inch fur is not an option; even the bottoms of his paws are snowy white. In B's mind his voice sounds very much like Eddie Izzard's - a British accent with a little girlie squee thrown in just to make you wonder.

He proved his queenliness last night.

Around 11:00 I wandered down to the kitchen to refresh my monster glass of ice water that must be by my bedside every. single. night. I flipped the light switch, and right by my left foot was this huge water bug. That sucker was at least as long as my pinkie finger. Holy shit! My first thought was to pick it up with a paper towel and squish it, but it was just to big. I knew that the guts would go everywhere, and they really stink when you kill them. They crunch. So I decided to let the cats out to let them chase it and kill it. Survival of the fittest and all.

After about a minute of calling and cooing, Darwin came sauntering up the basement steps. He plopped down in the doorway and looked at me. I swear if that cat had eyebrows, one would have been raised. I pointed to the water bug and told him to go kill it.

He didn't move.

I then picked him up, placed him in front of the water bug, and said, "Kill it."

He laid down on the bug, who managed to wriggle out and run right in Darwin's line of vision and escaped into the dark underbelly of the dining room table. A place a bug and myself will never rendevouz.

I then said, "Darwin, what the hell? Go kill the goddamn bug!" and pointed to the dining room. I think I even stomped my foot a little.

Darwin slowly got up, sashayed across the kitchen, looked back at me once with a "get bent" stare, and promptly went down the basement steps to bed.

Lazy, spoiled ass cat.

*I have no idea where that bug is, but I am calling the Orkin man on Monday.

TV Rant

2007-03-15T19:36:00.000-04:00

As y'all know, I've been a little wrapped up in TV lately. B doesn't watch as much TV as me, and I've been traveling for work and doing copious amounts of schoolwork, so discussion with my posses has been sparse; thus the attempt to spark some Internet discussion before I implode.

America's Next Top Model - This is the first season I have watched from the beginning and I am way into this train wreck. These women are crazy, and I am not talking a "Gosh, she's so crazy!" No, I am talking certifiable crazy. Especially the Russian mail-order bride, Natasha. Whoa.
So my questions -
1. What's up with Tyra overacting more than usual? That whole stepping thing in the premiere and then last night with the make-over drama. I thought her flamenco dancing last season was embarrassing, but Damn! Tyra! Take it down a notch. We get it, you are ghetto fabulous.
2. Is it me, or are some of these women cognitively delayed? Now, I am not saying models are stupid or have mental retardation, but I am questioning the cognitive abilities of Jael, Diane, and Jaslene.
3. Is Rachel a raging bitch, or what?

American Idol - I am so disappointed this season. I am having trouble mustering the will to watch. So far, I am rooting for Lakisha. She's got the pipes and she's genuine. So, I have some questions, and perhaps some of you can answer them:
1. How many of you are tired of Melinda and her "aw shucks, y'all" bullshit. I'm sorry, but I am so not buying it. How can anyone sing that well, have a decent career as a back-up singer, and be that freaking confident not have an inkling of her talent? Please.
2. What's up with Krista's boyfriend Chris and the head shaking? I get a little queasy if I watch for too long.
3. Is it me, or does anyone else get totally grossed out by Gina's nasty tongue piercing and grody white coated tongue? The woman worked in a dentist's office for Christ's sake! She should know the damage a tongue stud can do to her veneers and she should know how to "brush" her tongue. EW.
4. Sunjaya - WTF?
5. Okay, how many of you think that Phil looks like Bat Boy?

The Riches - No questions, just some thoughts. I don't know how much I am going to like this show, which is about this family of grifters that steals the identities of a man and wife they run off the road with their RV and inadvertently kill. The man and woman's name was Rich, and they were on their way to their newly Internet purchased home in Florida. Meh. Right? Perhaps, but this show features Eddie Izzard as the main character, and Oh. My. God. I love Eddie Izzard with every fiber of my being. I don't know what it is. He's not attractive in a conventional way and he's a transvestite who wears more make-up than me (not that being a transvestite is a bad thing, I just want to be the pretty one in my relationships), but I think he's dead sexy. I have probably seen Dress to Kill 10 times. He's hilarious in a cerebral, acerbic way and I *heart* him very much; therefore, I am watching this show whether I like it or not. I'll keep you posted.

Grey's Anatomy - Okay, last night really pissed me off. What the hell is Shonda thinking?
1. I love Callie, and think she's pretty awesome because she puts up with George's bullshit, especially his snarky friends. So predictable to have him and Izzie drunk then wake up together. Whatever. I guess now we are going to have to deal with the fallout in the typical predictable fashion. Yawn. The whole,"Did we have sex? I was so drunk I can't remember!" crap is so overdone. Didn't this just happen on Desperate Housewives with Gabby and the weird guy? Raise your hand if you think Izzie is a selfish bitch and needs slapped every single time she opens her stupid mouth.
2. Am I the only one who thinks that the only good plot lately is Alex and Jane Doe? He just gets better every week.
3. As soon as the Old Soap Opera guy grabbed Christina's ass, B (who rarely watches this show) said, "Whoa! She's a surgeon whore; a succubus. I see this all the time, once she learns everything from them she moves on to the next, more powerful doctor." Now, B works with residents and interns daily, but still. Can we all say Predictable?

Okay. I'm done. Talk amongst yourselves. Let the rant begin.

On the Wagon

2007-03-09T19:23:00.000-05:00

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

Check it Out!

2007-03-06T20:21:00.000-05:00

So, how do you like the newer, simpler me?
Adding that blog roll was enough work for tonight. I'll figure out how to add a masthead and email link later. Right now I am off to watch American Idol.

Idiots! Gosh!

2007-02-27T18:42:00.000-05:00

For some reason, it's not often that I experience anger or frustration over a person's ignorance. It may be because for the last 10 years I have worked with people who are oppressed and frequently have their human rights violated by ignorant people in their lives and communities. I think the main reason is because most of the time I just don't give a shit, and because I don't give a shit, a lot of the time I don't pay close attention to what many people are saying.

Well, last night I had no choice. As most of you know, I am in the midst of my doctoral coursework. I talk about it frequently because I am boring and can't talk about work. I only have so much material people! Last night, I was sitting in The Most Boring Class Ever watching Tracy (from my Doc Posse) file her fingernails, and listening to this chafe, J, prattle. She's one of those. You know, those who love to hear themselves talk? This is the second class I have had with this woman and I can't express how grateful I am that I only have one more year to endure her annoying ass. Between J and this other guy who is a former Merchant Marine, no one else can get a word in. It's actually kind of nice on those nights when you just don't feel like being there and contributing.

The topic of last night's J and Merchant Marine dude's discussion was about Goals 2000. Goals 2000 is a lame document put forth in the 1990s that outlines the federal dept of education's goals for the year 2000. One of these goals is about advancement in Math and Science, and touts that the US will be a world leader in M & S education. We haven't met any of the measurable objectives stated in Goals 2000, and we are definitely not the world leaders in M & S education; thus triggering the following, albeit brief, discussion:

Someone, maybe Tracy, asked "Why aren't we? When do you think that will happen?"

J snarkily replied, "When there's no more Asias!" Um, I thought there was only one Asia?

L, another student says, "China only educates the top 1/4th of their population, which is still more than all of the US. The US tries to educate everyone, and is persecuted because achievement scores aren't internationally competitive/high enough." Okay, I am listening, but not offended because I agree with some of what she's saying. NCLB has forced teachers to teach to the test and stifles creativity and critical thinking. Furthermore, only 1% of the special education population is exempt from achievement testing, which skews achievement test results. I understand where she's coming from.

J then says, "We're not comparing apples and apples here! China's standardized tests are so hard, and when they [students] fail, they [Chinese govt] kick them out! They just send them back to the rice paddy or something!"

Yeah, she really did.

After that statement, and the ensuing stunned silence, the instructor quickly moved on to another topic. I just sat there, aghast that someone with her level of education - she's a freaking microbiologist/geneticist could be that stupid. I couldn't say anything because I am too close to finishing to jeopardize my standing and we don't have bail money - we're saving for an adoption. ARGH!

Later, she started talking about her friend's children who attend a local Chinese school saying, "They speak Chinese and everything. They are entrenched in the Chinese culture!" All I could think was, " I wonder, if the student's fail will the administrators make them work a rice paddy in the playground out back? You stupid bitch."

Song Memories

2007-02-25T09:35:00.000-05:00

The other day I was having lunch with 2 colleagues, and we started discussing music. The older colleague said, "I really can't stand rap." In response, the younger colleague said, "Oh, I love rap, but I hate country." Then I said, "Well, I hate 90s music." It was as if the needle scratched across the record and all sound stopped. My younger colleague asked, "What? All 90s music?"

No, not all 90s music, just most because I had some rough times in the 90s. I was telling B about the conversation later at supper, and we started talking about song memories. Like scent memories, I hear a song and it immediately takes me back to that event, place, and/or time.

Highlights from my musical timeline:

Childhood:
Tie a Yellow Ribbon - Tony Orlando & Dawn: One of my earliest memories is pretending to be Tony Orlando. Even though he was a guy, I wanted to be in the spotlight. I loved TO&D and would regularly force my parents to endure my "shows." If I could harangue my brother into the "show," he would be my back-up. I would also include Donna Fargo's Happiest Girl in the Whole USA in the mix.

Dance to the Music - Sly and the Family Stone: Otherwise known as "The Sloppy Song." When I hear this song, I am 5 years old again. We lived in a little house in rural WV and my dad worked a lot. My younger brother would have to hear this song every day before he would take a nap. He called it "The Sloppy Song," which stuck and we all call it "The Sloppy Song" still.

Come Sail Away/The Grand Illusion - Styx: My mom played this album every single day for years, and we continue to listen to it whenever she and I take road trips together. I can remember the stereo/record player was so big, it took up almost an entire wall. I have a very young mother, so in the seventies she was in her twenties. I can't imagine being 26 and having a 7 and 5 year old. At the time I didn't pay attention, but in memories, she was so cool, young, and beautiful.

Lovin', Touchin', Squeezin' - Journey: This song reminds me of being at the local Roll Arena. Usually played for the final Couples Skate, the lights would dim to swirly red, blue and green and the boys and girls would take the rink. I was really young, so most of the time I was in the far corner changing from skates to shoes. I still remember the smell of leather, feet, and popcorn, and how weird it would feel to not have those heavy skates attached to my feet when I stood up and started walking to the return skates booth.

Teens:
Straight From the Heart - Bryan Adams: One of the first 45s I owned, this was also my first slow dance with an older boy. In seventh grade my love for David B., a ninth grader, was strong, true, and totally unrequited. Every month, our junior high would have dances in the cafeteria/commons. After several months of pining on the sidelines, I worked up my courage and asked David to dance to this song. We put our arms around each other and swayed in a circle. I looked off to the left, he looked off to the right, and when the song ended he said, "Thanks," and walked off to his friends goofing in the corner. I played that 45 over and over, reliving every moment.

Little Red Corvette/1999 - Prince: This song reminds me of my Junior High Posse, Kathy, Pam, and Jodi. We were so tight in 8th and 9th grade. Kathy and Pam both had a thing for Prince, I was loyal to John Taylor of Duran Duran, and Jodi loved the Kajagoogoo guy. In retrospect, I think Kathy's love of Prince was typical junior high crush stuff, but Pam's love came with a worldly, sexual knowledge that was foreign to the rest of us. Pam was wild and introduced me to things my mama and daddy didn't feel like a 12 year old in the early 80s should know. She enlightened about the sexual innuendo and drive of Prince's music, and I've been a fan ever since.

Need You Tonight/Kick - INXS: Kathy and I would cruise in her mom's white Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme. We would open the sun roof and blast this cassette while driving past boy's houses, gossiping about everybody, and enjoying the little bit of freedom that comes with being 16. A time when the only worries we had were grades, boys, zits, and whether our nemesis Shari S. was going to steal our boyfriends (she did).

College and My 20s:
Back to Life - Soul II Soul: I attended a historically black college in the late 80s & early 90s. There was so much happening with hip hop and rap at that time. I remember dancing in the student union with my college boyfriend Danny. He loved the direction music was taking, and was really into this band, 2 Live Crew, Ice-T, Kid N' Play, Arrested Development, etc... He made me go see New Jack City, and that was the first time this WV girl had ever seen anything like the lifestyles portrayed in the movie. I remember leaving the theater feeling sick to my stomach and ashamed; I felt so uninformed about the world around me.

Mysterious Ways - U2: One of my least favorite U2 songs. Working as a bank teller and taking classes in my 4th year of college, I was so ready shed the mantle of college and move on. Even though I had great friends and a well-paying job, I remember feeling lonely and stagnant. This song was playing constantly; it was huge.

Twisted - Keith Sweat: I was dating a younger man and was contemplating a deeper relationship with a friend who was also committed. I distinctly remember this video playing while I sat next to the friend, sipping Foster's wondering what the hell I was doing. I made the wrong decision.

Crush/Before These Crowded Streets - Dave Matthews Band: This CD had been out for a while, but B loved it (still does). I had gone to a friend's wedding in the same town where B lived. We had only been dating a few weeks, and had made plans for me to meet him at his apartment after the reception. I was having my period, and by the time I made it to B's apartment, I was sick from it. I asked to take a raincheck for our date, and he told me he didn't care if we ever left that apartment, as long as we could spend time together. I stayed, and I laid down on the on the couch with my head in his lap. We were listening to this CD, and I remember thinking about how being with him was like coming home.

I am still building my song memories for my thirties. Some that come to mind are ones that remind me of C when she was small, and where I am in my life right now. A few:
Dream a Little Dream - Diana Krall
I Can See Clearly Now - Jimmy Cliff
Wide Open Spaces - Dixie Chicks
Sweet Surrender - Sarah McLachlin

What songs trigger memories for you?

My Posses

2007-02-23T18:28:00.000-05:00

After watching Grey's Anatomy the other night and then watching the TVWOP forum implode over the mass Izzy hate train and the whole Cristina/Burke "she's (Meredeth) my person" argument, I started thinking about my girlfriends and what role they play in my life. I have lots of girlfriends who fit into nice categories. My posses:

My Doc Posse: This posse consists of three women, Tracy, Lisa, and Kristi. These three are the ones with whom I attend almost every class, participate in every group presentation, and who have kept me gong with this school gig over the last 2 years. We meet for dinner several times a semester, and they are usually 3+ hour affairs. After B and my family, they will receive serious props when I draft my dissertation acknowledgments. They are the driving forces behind my completion of this program. In any other situation I don't know if we would be friends, but just like people who bond during a tragic event like a hijacking or being trapped in an elevator for several days, we will be there for life.

My Work Posse: These are my work g-friends, Lori, Tami, and Jen. The ones I trust to make the days better, and who let me vent about my job. They are in the same boat as me, so usually someone is available to lend a comforting shoulder, juicy gossip, a snarky remark, or a big piece of cake when the stress hits. You wouldn't think that what I do is stressful. I mean, it's not like I'm rescuing children and puppies from burning buildings or trying to find a cure for cancer; nothing so heroic. What's stressful is that I (well we) are dealing with people's money. I can't think of anything more stressful than that. We know personal things about each other, but I don't know if we would have ever met had it not been for work. So I guess that's a good thing about having my job.

My Bloggy Posse: These women, Shannon 1, Shannon 2, and Susan aka The Tiara Girls, are my g-friends I met through blogging about China adoption. But that was the starting point. Susan and I visited the King last June, and hit it off like long lost soul sisters. Soon after that trip I began emailing my virtual twin, Shannon. Again, another soul sister! Later, I met the Shannons and Susan in Sept for a weekend of unspeakable fun. China adoption and blogging may be what brought us together, but we have so much more in common. Matter of fact, our weekend together consisted of no real discussion about adoption, we were too busy talking, laughing, gossiping, bonding, and just having fun it never really came up. We've kept in touch via the World Wide Web since then, and oh, to read some of the emails! If you are naive enough to thing that bloggers don't gossip about each other, you are in for a rude awakening.

My Persons Posse: Like Cristina, these are the women who would help me remove the corpse. They are the friends that have been there through thick and thin. They've seen me at the best times of my life, and have endured my darkest days. Rachael has been in my life the longest, almost 20 years. Caroline came in about 10 years ago, with Alicia rounding it out at 6 years. Out of the three, I see Caroline the most frequently because she and I work together. Rachael and Alicia are busy taking care of their families and working full-time, so seeing them, talking on the phone, and spending time with them doesn't happen as often as we would all like. Nevertheless, these woman are the sisters of my heart, and my life is better with them in it. No matter how often or little I see them.

So those are my posses. Four posses with three women in each. All are vitally important to my sanity. I love my girlfriends.

Brought to You by the Letter "P"

2007-02-19T20:27:00.000-05:00

For my pleasure, I am completing the single letter MeMe that has been floating around. Being a MeMe 'ho, I jumped on that crackpipe. Thanks to a&mg over at The Jade Road for the letter "P"

1. Pickles - Clausen's please. I love a big stinky dill pickle. My favorite are the Clausen's hamburger slices. They are especially yumm-o with grilled cheese.

2. Posses - I have several girlfriend posses. I actually have part of a post drafted about my posses coming soon. Not pussies - don't be gross.

3. Phillip Seymour Hoffman - He's a phenomenal actor. Also, my husband could be his separated-at-birth twin, or at least his brother-of-another-mother.

4. Project Runway - My heart belongs to Heidi Klum.

5. Please, Please Tell Me Now (is there something I should know?) - I wasn't lying when I said I was a Duranie. I love this video and song. John Taylor looks fine in that blue button across the shoulder shirt and white oxfords. ROWR!

6. Panties - Can't live without them. I never go commando, and I only wear Hipsters - no briefs, no thigh-highs, no bikinis and definitely no thongs. I probably own over 50 pairs of panties. This is a trait I get from my mother, who probably owns over 100 pairs of panties. We will never be without clean ones.

7. Pizza - I love pizza, but not from just any old pizza joint, and definitely not frozen. I love pizza from a local pizza place, Graziano's. I will also eat Papas and Bellicino's. I like plain cheese, pepperoni and mushroom, ham and pineapple, or vegetarian minus green pepper/add banana peppers. I can also make a mean Chef Boy-r-dee mix. Oh yeah.

8. Pointy-toe Shoes - Besides being a MeMe 'ho, I am also a shoe 'ho. I love me some pointy-toe stilettos. Big girls rock in sexy shoes because they make our curvy booties look awesome.

9. Pearls - I love, love, love pearls. Maybe better than diamonds. Getting Ruby is #1, on the list of the great things about this eventual trip to China. Going to the Pearl Market might very well be number 2 or 3. Yeah, yeah, I can't wait to see the people, architecture, and the Great Wall. But I also can't wait to purchase Ruby and C's wedding strands as well as several pieces for myself. I am already saving.

10. Prince - Nobody does it like the Purple. I swear 1999 and Purple Rain are two of the best albums (yes, I am that old) ever. That little man could sell sex to my grandmother. He is the funkiest of the funky.

**I am making plans for the template change. It's looking like I'm going to keep the the picture if I can. Now, to jazz up the background a little. Too much green is not a good thing, and I would like more room for words so my posts don't look like they are long and skinny. Give me time, peeps I've had a lot of homework to do and grade this past weekend.

P.S. B's all het up because I didn't include poop and penis. Whatever.

Crack

2007-02-17T15:12:00.000-05:00

I love bread. Warm, crusty, chewy bread. This is an addiction for me. I am not ashamed of my love for a crispy oven-toasted, buttered-to-the-rim piece of bakery bread. Out of our local bakeries, only one is known for it's bread. Duchess Bakery makes a white butter-pan bread that is perfect for toasting or grilled cheese. It's to die for.

Today we were closer to Pan*ra than we were to Duchess. Because it's snowy and cold outside, I had decided that today's a perfect soup day. Tomato soup day. With that in mind, I told Mom I wanted to run into Pan*ra to get some country bread to make nice, gooey grilled cheese sandwiches to dunk into our soup. She was reluctant because our Pan*ra is not the greatest. The selection of breads and pastries are usually slim pickings, and the customer services is disappointing to say the least. Regardless, I made a beeline for the bakery. I won't bore you with the details that confirm that our Pan*ra sucks, but I will tell you all about the one good thing that they are selling:

Peanut butter and banana crunch bagels.

OH MY GOD. Chewy sweet bagel with peanut butter, bananas, and nuts baked in all topped off with little crunchy banana crumbs.

I can't get it in my mouth fast enough.

A Request and a Question

2007-02-15T17:17:00.000-05:00

If you look past my archives you will see a little blue square that tells readers that says, "Tracked for free by Statcounter.com." Every so often I will roll over there to see how many hits the old blog is taking and to see who's looking at me. Especially because I might be looking at them.

I don't have a lot of readers, but since I became an ALT, my readership (is that even a word?) has gone up. I am getting hits from folks from all kinds of places. Places where people are covered in snow, basking in the sun, eating sushi, building space stations, or watching fireworks over the Pearl River in China. Places I want to know about. Places I would like to see.

So my request is this - Identify yourself, please. Put a little shout out in the comments to say, "Hey!" or to tell me some weirdo factoid about yourself. Here, I'll share a weirdo factoid about me: I smell my food. Oh yeah, like a dog. I know, it's weird. If you don't have any weirdo factoids about yourself (you know you do), you can just show me some love. Well, you don't have to show the love, but I won't complain if you do.

My question is this:
I need to update my blogroll to include my ALT Posse. When I do this sometime in the next week or so, should I update the look of the blog? I love the picture, but the green is really getting to me. Right now I am 90% sure I am going to ditch the picture and opt for a new layout. You have to read it, so tell me what you think. What's appealing to you, dear reader?

Actually, that was 2 questions.

It's All About the Love**updated

2007-02-14T09:26:00.000-05:00

Happy Valentines Day!

**It really is all about the love. This morning when I was lounging in my recliner reading blogs looking really lovely with my raw nose, greasy bed-head, Biaxin breath, and explosive diarrhea from said Biaxin, B came up to me before leaving for work and handed me a little red bag. Inside was a copy of Justin Timberlake's Future Sex/Love Sounds and some candy. He then kissed my cheek and said, "Because you bring sexy back." He laughed his ass off all the way out the door. That's some love.

***Yes, C1 is a Mary Englebreit print. I heart ME

Random Ramble**updated

2007-02-13T08:28:00.000-05:00

I am sick. Again. I really don't want to be one of those bloggers who bitches about how crappy they feel and how sick they are all the time, but I really am sick. Again. I didn't think the human head had the capacity to hold gallons of snot. Gallons. Well, I was wrong. My nose is completely raw and cracked and bleeding. Yes, I am lovely. One good thing about it is that the appetite is gone. Never thought I would say that. I really believe it is viral, so it just has to run it's course. And run. And run. And run. You get the point.

As you can see from my previous post, I am crushing pretty hard on John Mayer right now. I loved his Ryan Seacrest slam on the pre-Grammys show when RS quizzed him about Jessica Simpson. Those lips, that voice, those lips, the sense of humor, the tattoo, those lips... Oh yeah, I also love his music. It's not just a physical love. My friend Thea and I saw him with Maroon 5 a few years ago. He is awesome live. Better actually.

I am currently waiting on the cable guy. Our cable company can't make set appointments, so it's an all day appointment or nothing. Basically I have to hang out all day and wait for this guy (or girl) to show up. Not that I mind, I am feeling rotten. I just hope he isn't repulsed by the state of my nose or the ten thousand used tissues that have multiplied faster than Gremlins and have exploded around the house. The VS channel (some sports thing) is bleeding through on Food Network. That's bad. I only watch daytime TV when I am sick, and I only watch the Food Network. I hate all of those crappy daytime talk shows and soap operas, so having some dudes playing tennis superimposed over Giada is not a good thing. **Two dudes arrived and over the course of an hour and a half they replaced all of our cable lines and our modem. They said our cable lines were incredibly old and starting to fray. Also, because it was them and not us - the call was free. Cool. Ina's kitchen is so bright and shiny, I might have to wear shades!

My new dryer was delivered Friday. The washing machine was damaged, so it had to be returned. It will be delivered in the next week or so along with the pedestals that elevate the machines and have storage space. So for now I am using my ghetto washer and fabulous dryer. The difference - one super load in the wash is a medium load in the dryer, and what used to take 2 hours to dry now takes 34 minutes. 34 minutes. I am in love.

So, The Police are touring again. I have seen Sting, but never The Police. They actually came to our little state back in 1983. The Synchronicity tour. I had a choice to see them or Duran Duran. I was 12, so take a wild guess at which concert I chose. Regrets? No. I was a Duranie and will always be a Duranie. Back off. B went to both concerts because he was spoiled. He refuses to tell anyone besides me that he went to Duran Duran. Ha! His secret is out! The Police is B's favorite band ever, so if I can get tickets, perhaps we will see you at the Philadelphia show. **Doubtful - as wzirl says, the tix are thousands of doll-hairs. Umm, we have a big old trip to China to pay for, so see you on the flip side Sting.

Finally, today is Krista's birthday. Go over and wish her well. She's snowed in, so I am sure she'll be perusing blogs and email all day in between naps. Krista is a great broad, and I mean that in the kindest, elevated to status of we-could-be-great-friends way. She's crafty, smart, supportive and kind. She's a crack shot, super investigator, penguin fanatic and has much, much love for her friends and family. Go on! Get over there and wish her a good one!

Dang

2007-02-12T15:25:00.000-05:00

I just want to bite them. Hard.

I am Blaming it on the Chinese

2007-02-06T16:19:00.000-05:00

Working from home definitely has it's benefits. I get to do conference calls while wearing my comfy flannel PJs, which is pretty awesome. I also have less distraction, which helps me get things done at my own speed and take lots of breaks to do things like cook and laundry. Well, today was an exception. Our dryer died.

I had a bad feeling this was going to happen soon, because on Sunday it took 2 1/2 hours to dry two king size sheet sets and around 20 pillowcases. Yes, we use that many pillows - not the point here...

When we bought our home, we paid the former owners $300.00 cash to leave all of the appliances. Call us Suckahs!, because the assholes had planned to leave the appliances with the house and basically took our money. We were first-time home buyers, give us a break! The washing machine died during the first year. We were totally broke (thanks to infertility treatment costs), and I bought a cheapo washing machine that has 3 cycles and only rinses on the cold cycle. No bells or whistles, no delicate cycle, no sanitation. Just cold/cold, warm (cold)/cold and hot/cold. At first, the only plus was that it had a liquid fabric softener dispenser. Now, that either completely gums up after about 3 cycles and/or gradually leaks out during the washing, not rinsing phase. ARGH.

So, instead of spending the day in my warm house in my warm flannel PJs, I trudged out to buy a dryer. Only a dryer.

As you can see, I came home with these:

My excuse was: "B, we'll be having a baby soon! We need the sanitizing cycle! We need the 22 towel capacity! We need this for bibs, food stains, shit issues, and general clean baby karma!"
We are now $2500.00 lighter, and have a used washing machine for sale.

Consuming My Life, For Christie

2007-01-29T17:30:00.000-05:00

I haven't been too busy to blog, I am just a little blue about this whole wait. Dang, it's discouraging. Our 7 month LID anniversary was this weekend, and we celebrated in the same fashion as the other months - not doing a damned thing. Matter of fact, I worked for about 4 hours.

Lately, about the only thing I am interested in is Reality TV. Not the State of the Union, not cool shows like Lost and Heroes (I watch them, but I am not on them like a starving dog on a Milk Bone). Oh, I have a lot going on with school, but as far as being interested in it? Meh. Since Christie demanded another post and I must cater to my fans, I am going to talk about the two things that are consuming my life right now...

Lets get the boring out of the way:

School
1. I have been really active in getting my committee solidified. One person did not work out, and it's for the best. In this situation, I'll believe in fate. My university has recently hired an adjunct I had for a couple of classes. Not only is this person fresh, she's really awesome. Plus she's totally quantitative, so if I have to do a mixed methods study for my dissertation, she's my man. She also bought a dozen boxes of Grrl Scout cookies from my niece. See, I told you she's awesome.

2. I have developed a very strong mentoring relationship with my chair. From the beginning I have really been into working with her, but she's an ace in the poker face. I wouldn't say she has a flat affect, but she's very, very guarded. A few weeks ago, the Dean (who is also on my committee) told me that she deliberates long and hard before agreeing to chair a committee and that she is very selective. What this means is, she likes me! She really likes me! I know that sounds a little weird, but this whole chair/committee building thing has been the bane of my existence for a while now. My confidence, when it comes to this issue, is pretty nonexistent.

3. The trip to Texas is on! I won't be telling when I am leaving, but I will post pictures when we are back. That is if I can find my cord to my camera. I had a slight panic attack over the reservation costs - B's registration was $350 alone! Yikes! My AmEx felt a serious dent to the tune of over $3000. I am so glad B is going with me. We will be reimbursed for everything but my meals. Well, I am glad he's going with me because he's supportive and a whole lotta fun, but still.

Television
1. I cannot wait for the Top Chef showdown on Wednesday. Oh yeah, Marcel is going to kick Ilan's ass! It's really a lesser of two evils situation, but I feel a little sympathy for Marcel. Yeah he's an asshole, but getting assaulted by Cliff and emotionally tortured by everyone else created a little warm spot in my heart for Marcel. I am also digging on his crazy hair. I am really digging on Tom Colicchio. He's a total Alpha Male. Has anyone noticed that Gail eats like she has peanut butter stuck to the roof of her mouth? I had to 8 second rewind the ghetto DVR twice to take a look at that action. Not so pretty. Also, the finale gets me a little closer to Project Runway 4. Come on Heidi and Tim! I'm getting antsy.

2. American Idol is killing me. Just get to the second phase already. It's so not cool to allow people with disabilities to stand there and make asses of themselves while the judges make fun of them. Granted, many of the contestants need a wake up call, and this is the place to get it. Right now I am not feeling anybody. Sundance is a good singer, but he needs to shave the pubes hanging from his chin. Gross. Oh yeah, Randy. I saw you when you toured with Journey's Raised on Radio tour. Can we say asymmetrical fade and red spandex? I remember. My eyes burned for weeks. Do. Not. Make. Fun. Big. Man. Because honestly? Red Spandex. Seriously.

3. The Apprentice: Ah, the Donald. How I love thee in a nonsexual way. Even though Ivanka is swanky and cool, I miss Caroline and her rabid dog smile. I was so sucked into the whole "An Apprentice First: Romance!" shtick. Well, basically it's Nicole thinking Tim is vibing on her. Sister, he might hit it while you're there, but outside of Apprentice La-La Land, you guys are no Rob and Amber.

4. Grease! You're the One That I Want: This show is beyond bad. Almost as bad a Celebrity Duets - I'll never forget the Hal Sparks/Wynona duet. I digress. The only reason I am watching is because my SIL K went all through school with Derek, I think he's the "Wholesome Danny." So all for keeping it real on the hometown success stories, I watched and voted. Once. Only once. Besides, his biggest competition is this freaky guy named Austin who looks like Harry Connick, Jr., has moves like David Copperfield, and is a huge narcissistic dork. I know, those two words are an oxymoron, but he really is a narcissistic dork. Another hometown success is Jen Garner. I think mom and I are going to support her massive career by seeing Catch and Release tomorrow evening at the 4 dollar flicks. I really don't give a rat's ass about Jen Garner, but I love me some Kevin Smith and Timothy Olyphant.

Interviewing Me

2007-01-13T11:23:00.000-05:00

Quite often I have these weird third-person-like conversations with myself. Self-talk can be very encouraging or damaging. Most of mine consists of questions and answers that usually all end the same way. A sample...

Question (Q): Why is it that doctor's feel the need to be condescending?

Answer (A): Because you're an educated person and have enough sense to know that your doctor is being an asshole. You need to find a doctor you respect and right now, the only one is your GYN. Ask him to refer you to a less assholish doctor and you will be okay. Quit stressing over the fact that you have fired 3 doctors in the last year and a half and get a grip. *

Q: What's up with the nastiness on the WW message boards? You joined this program why?

A: You joined WW Online because you travel all the time; therefore the convenience of tracking online far exceeds any other negative factor that may be involved. You need to lose weight and this diet works for you. So far you are exercising every other day, have lost some weight, joined a better, more supportive fitness group, and physically feel better. It's a good thing, so get a grip!**

Q: How excited are you that B finally got a promotion and will be getting a significant pay increase?

A: Shitting myself excited. I am very, very proud of B, he's worked so hard for this promotion. We can pay off medical debt accumulated from infertility treatments that were not covered by insurance, get rid of our nasty aluminium siding and get vinyl, and create a budget that will allow me to eventually take a lower paying job that has less travel so I can be home with Ruby every. single. night! It's all good change, so you need to get a grip and take one thing at a time.

Q: Why haven't you been blogging?

A: I am lazy? I am busy with school and work? I just don't want to! Cant you tell I am still freaked out and nervous about the CCAI regs, even though we should be okay? I need to just get a grip and get over myself.

As you can see I spend a lot of time trying to stop my obsessing.

*Yes, I fired another doctor. I am beginning to see that a big part of the problem is me. I have a difficult personality that makes it hard for someone with a God Complex to accept. I question. Often. I believe I am getting a reputation for being a bad patient, and that's okay with me.

**I have been doing WW for 2 weeks, and I feel really good about it. For the first time, I want to stick with the plan. I am walking on my treadmill 4-5X a week and every time I do, I feel awesome. I may be singing a different tune in a few weeks, but we'll see. If I do, don't give me any shit.

Happy Birthday to One Cool Mama!

2007-01-02T08:00:00.000-05:00

Happy birthday Nicole! Hope you have a wonderful day!

Christmas Ramble

2006-12-29T19:54:00.000-05:00

So we finally got Christmas under our belts and out of the way. Another year over, and boy howdy am I glad. After a long flight home and all day waiting, C ripped into the gift extravaganza last night like Reuben Studdard at a Golden Corral. She was quite thrilled with her loot. I have a tendency to get a little carried away on the giving, but this year I remained reasonable. Her mom buys the bulk of the toys and we get to do clothing and more sedate items like this and this. I like to do the clothing part, because it takes lots of effort to undo the Stevie Nicks/Bon Jovi look she gets from her other maternal influence. Because of C's genetic lack-o-fashion sense, I put the entire outfit together in a gift box and triple dog dare her to mix and (not) match. Under the tree this year were skinny jeans, babydoll tunics and jailhouse stripes. She was in love.

One thing B knows about me (Kathy if you're reading you'll remember this) is that dolls totally freak me out. C never brings dolls to the house because even she knows how I feel about them. One Christmas she got one of these, and regardless of the price, I let it leave the house and never return. It's probably at the bottom of some yogurt soaked, unopened marker laden toybox with green play-doh matted in it's hair. I don't care. I hate them that much. Even though he loves me and usually respects my quirks and weirdness, B bought Ruby her first doll and put it under the tree. He warned me about it and told me to just suck it up. I was hesitant to open it because I knew I would see the dead eyes staring back at me and I would be sucked into a vortex of fear. I finally conceded after opening everything else. I was so, so happy to see this, my eyes got a little leaky. My man - he knows me well.

ABC Me, Me, Me

2006-12-28T19:42:00.000-05:00

A is for age:
35

B is for Beer:
None really. I really don't enjoy beer or wine. I do love a really good and icy gin and tonic though.

C is for Career:
Social worker for a nationwide health management corporation that contracts with Medicaid. I work with people who have mental retardation/developmental disabilities. I am also a full-time doctoral student.

D is for my Dog’s Name:
No pooches. Just my kitties Darwin and Eliza.

E is for Essential Item I Use Everyday:
Conditioner. Because of this and because I highlight. My hair is very dry.

F is for Favorite T.V. Show:
Oh where to begin? Right Now? Project Runway, Top Chef, The Apprentice, House, & The Office (both the BBC and NBC versions) **subject to change at any time.

G is for Favorite Game:
Board Game - Life
Computer Game - Civilization III - Conquests

H is for Hometown:
Charleston, WV

I is for Instruments I Play:
None. "My voice is my instrument." (this is a direct quote from C when she was asked if she was going to join school band this year).

J is for Favorite Juice:
Really pulpy orange juice over ice or cranberry.

K is for Whose Butt I’d Like To Kick:
Don't wanna say, but I'd like to thank them for the anxiety.

L is for the Last Place I Ate:
At my kitchen table with C and B.

M is for Marriage:
7-1/2 years

N is for my Name:
My name is KID... sorry... DebraSue

O is for Overnight Hospital Stays:
A couple.
In 4th grade I was in for several days with double pneumonia and chicken pox.
In 2003 following my breast reduction.

P is for People I was With Today:
A client and his family
C and many movie-goers at Night at the Museum
B

Q is for Quote:
“Keep on keepin' on” -Joe Dirt

R is for Biggest Regret:
Too many to list.

S is for Sport:
Have you seen any pictures of me? My only sports are Table Push-ups and Quick Draw Remote.

T is for Time I Woke Up Today:
6:30

U is for Current Underwear:
Fruit of the Loom Low-rise briefs. Magenta.

V is for Vegetable You Love:
Brussels Sprouts

W is for Worst Habit:
Biting my cuticles, asking for reassurance, eating in the car. I am sure there are more that B and my friends could list.

X is for X-rays I Have Had:
Head, vaginal cavity, uterus, heart (do echocardiograms count?), and lungs.

Y is for Yummy Food You Ate Today:
Very hot Chicken McNuggets. I was stuck in a very rural area (they don't even have Walmart), but they do have the Golden Arches. It was hopping.

Z is for Zodiac:
Leo baby! Cuz I am a Queen!

6 Months - Yay (not).

2006-12-27T18:17:00.000-05:00

Today marks 6 months that we've been Logged In with the CCAA. 6 months in a wait that is fraught with anxiety and tension now that the new regulations have been confirmed. If they go retroactive we are out. The medical regulations will slam us to the ground. This is the reason I haven't been blogging - I am way too down. Sorry for those 3 or 4 that follow our journey. It wasn't a planned break, it just sort of happened. I am scared, anxious, depressed and my fate is in unseen hands. For a control freak, that's pretty hard.

We chose China because I am a control freak. After months of research, we chose China because the process is/was so streamlined and secure. Granted this isn't the only reason, but it did play a part. We wanted as close to a guarantee as we could get. Well, hello Karma! Is that you biting me on the ass?

With the way things stand now, we could be pushed back for weeks or months, denied a referral, or granted the joy of our lives. It's all in the air and I hate, hate, hate the way it's making me feel. I just can't cry anymore. Goddammit.

Slacker

2006-12-11T13:41:00.000-05:00

I've been around, just not blogging. Not because I haven't thought of things to talk about and not because I am sick, or tired, or worried about various sundry. Which, truthfully, I am. Regardless, I haven't been blogging because I am lazy. Something you should know about me by now.

Things here are fine. I have healed from the surgery, and have a little lip on the bottom part of my belly button. It's weird and I am hoping the scar will relax.

About a week after the surgery, I ended up with some funky low-grade fever thing that was just hanging around like an unwanted houseguest. In fear that I had some crazy infection from the surgery, I called and received a Rx for Cipro. I took my meds like a good patient. 3 days after finishing my meds I woke up to this really swollen place behind my ear that was sore, painful, and hot to the touch. It also felt like I had an ice pick in my ear. I went to my new doctor and she said I had Mastioditis - a bacterial infection in my Mastoid bone. As you know, this shit only happens to me. Very weird, but treatable. Mastoiditis used to be the leading killer of children, but with the advent of antibiotics, it's no longer a threat or even very common. It's also common in children, not adults. Oh well, it's weird and I have it.

A positive? The Cipro probably kept it from being as bad as it could have been, which would have entailed IV or a needle aspiration of the pus. GAG.

So I am on more antibiotics and I am fine. Home today, traveling for work for the next two weeks.

In other news -

We are going to Texas! My group's proposal for a symposium for a conference was accepted. That's really good news, BTW. To make it better, B is going with me. His work thought that the conference would be a good way for him to get more information about online learning, so no hotel fees for me! Being a hick, I have only flown once. I am a little freaked out, but I'll fake it and pretend I am worldly. I am a good faker.
I am slowly building my committee and program of study for my doc program. So far, my first choices are on board. One more to go before the holiday, so keep your fingers crossed he'll say yes!
C will be in Florida for the entire Christmas holiday. I cried for 3 days. She's really excited, but this will be our first Christmas without her. On a good note, this will be our first (and probably only) Christmas as a couple. B is planning something romantic to try to make me feel better about C being gone.
I am almost finished Christmas shopping. I have a few more items for my Secret Pal and stocking stuffers. That's it. I received $100.00 in retail gift cards from AmEx Membership Rewards, so spending those will be gravy.

Yet Another MeMe

2006-12-10T15:30:00.000-05:00

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought? I really need to stop eating Chinese food - it all lands in my face. My nose is so swollen I look drunk or pregnant; maybe both.
2. How much cash do you have on you? A dollar and some change.
3. What word rhymes with “DOOR” Score!
4. Favorite Planet: Earth. Second would be Saturn.
5. Who is the 4th person on the missed call list on your cell phone? A client - no names due to the confidential nature of my J.O.B.
6. What is your favorite ring tone on your phone? Old School Ringing Phone
7. What shirt are you wearing? White Timberland t-shirt under a black cotton sweater.
8. Do you “label” yourself? Oh yeah.
9. Name the brand of shoes you are currently wearing? New Balance.
10. Bright or dark room? Bright due to the fact that I have 6 windows in my living room.
11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you? Cool enough to copy from them.
12. What does your watch look like? I have a watch, but I don't wear it. It's a lovely silver and gold Fossil that B bought me for my birthday 4 years ago.
13. What were you doing at midnight last night? I was watching an episode of the Rachael Ray show on DVR.
14. What did your last message you received on your phone say? I can't repeat it, this is a family blog. B was ranting about the car dealership and he used many, many cuss words that include the letters F, P, MF, and SOB.
15. Where is your nearest 7-11? A couple blocks over. I don't go there because they are robbed frequently. I hit the One Stop instead.
16. What’s a word you say a lot? Goddammit and Okay.
17. Who told you s/he loved you last? B. Every day.
18. Last furry thing you touched? Darwin. He's my shadow when I am at home.
19. How many drugs have you done in the last three days? Illegal = none. Prescribed = 6 per day. I am sick. Back off.
20. How many rolls of film do you need developed? Film? I think I have a roll from my brother's first wedding in 1995.
21. Favorite age you have been so far? Dunno. Every year has had joy and strife. They are connected at the hip.
22. Your worst enemy? Myself. I beat myself up frequently, worry constantly, and do the wrong things when it comes to my health sometimes.
23. What is your current desktop picture? Spiderman 3
24. What was the last thing you said to someone? "Darwin! What the hell are you doing? You big dork!”
25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly what would it be? Get real.
26. Do you like someone? Oh yeah. Many, many someones.
27. The last song you listened to? All the way through? This Fire by Franz Ferdinand.
28. What time of day were you born? 12:31.
29. What is your favorite number? 23
30. Where did you live in 1987? Cross Lanes, WV
31. Are you jealous of anyone? Yes I am, but I don't like to discuss it. Jealousy is ugly and envy is a sin.
32. Is anyone jealous of you? I hope so.
33. Where were you when 9/11 happened? At work. I had just come out of the bathroom and a guy from another office was walking out of the men's. He said, "Did you hear? A plane just crashed into one of the Twin Towers?" I walked back into my office suite, and we all crowded into Carol's office because she was the only one of us with a radio. I eventually went to my parents' and watched the coverage from there.
34. What do you do when vending machines steal your money? Cuss and try to either shake it or buy the item behind it. I don't do vending machines very often.
35. Do you consider yourself kind? Not really. I do kind things, but rarely have kind thoughts.
36. If you had to get a tattoo where would it be? A bee on the top of my foot. This will never happen, BTW.
37. If you could be fluent in any other language what would it be? Spanish.
38. Would you move for the person you loved? If I had too; good thing we both like it here.
39. Are you touchy feely? No. I will touch, but do not like for people to touch me. I totally one-sided and unashamed.
40. What’s your life motto? Don't have one. Maybe "Keep on keepin' on" like Joe Dirt.
41. Name three things you have on at all times? My wedding bands and my engagement ring. I have two thin bands that surround my diamond.
42. What is your favorite city/town? Probably the one I live in. I have a city love.
43. What was the last thing you paid for with cash? Coffee from McDonalds for my mom and me. 44. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it? Years ago. How sad.
45. Can you change the oil on a car? Yes, but I don't.
46. Your first love: What is the last thing you heard about him/her? He is living in a rural county and practicing law and is married to his second wife. He is very politically involved and is considering running for office. His wife is a teacher and they are infertile. I worked with a woman who is married to his best friend. When we figured it out, she asked him about me. She said he talked about all of these great times we had when we were teenagers (we knew each other for years). She said he was really excited to hear I was doing well, which is nice.
47. How far back do you know about your ancestry? All the way to the first step off the boat.
48. The last time you dressed fancy, what did you wear and why did you dress fancy? I don't dress fancy. I dress for work and that's fancy enough.
49. Does anything hurt on your body right now? Yes, the back of my head. I heart my sinuses.
50. Have you been burned by love? See #46.

Meme

2006-11-27T20:10:00.000-05:00

About a month ago Shannon2 tagged me with this meme. I am just now getting around to it. Getting a little stir crazy, so filling it out filled some time.

ARE YOU:
1. A Cuddler? Only with B
2. A morning person? Yes and no - I am an early riser, but not a very nice person.
3. Are you a perfectionist? Not really.
4. An only child? Nope...I have a younger brother who rules.
5. Catholic: No.
6. In your pajamas? Yes I am.
7. Currently suffering from a broken heart? No.
8. Okay styling other people's hair? Ummm...no. Why would I want to do that? I've been out of Junior High for a while now.
9. Left handed? All the way.
10. Addicted to MySpace? No. See #8
11. Shy around the opposite gender? No. I love boys.
12. Loud? Yes.

DO YOU:
1. Bite your nails? No, but I do bite my cuticles. Nasty, I know.
2.Get paranoid at times? Yes, I am a little bit insane.
3. Currently regret something that you have said/done? Constantly.
4. Curse frequently when you get mad? I curse all of the time, I don't have to be mad.
5. Enjoy country music? No not really. Unfortunately I know a lot about it because I am a celebrity gossip whore just like my mom and she fills me in on the scoop.
6. Enjoy jazz music? I would rather slit my wrists with a dull spoon.
7. Enjoy smoothies? No they freak me out - texture.
8. Enjoy talking on the phone? No. I hate to talk on the phone, but when I do it's usually for a really long time.
9. Have a lot to learn?Always.
10. Have a pet? 2 cats - Darwin and Eliza.
11. Have a tendency to fall for the "wrong" person? In the past, but no more. I have a keeper.
12. Have all your grandparents died? All but one biological - my maternal grandfather, Poppaw Kitty Kat. He remarried so I also have a stgrandmotherher, Helen.
13. Have at least one sibling? Didn't I answer this earlier?
14. Have been told that you are smart? Yes. Actually B told me the other night that my "brain is sexy." Whatever. I was fishing for something more superficial.
15. Have had a broken bone? No, I am incredibly lucky because I fall down a lot.
16. Have Caller I.D. on your phone? Duh. I am a social worker who worked in mental health for 6 years.

HAVE YOU:
1. Changed a diaper? Yes, but I am currently on strike until Ruby arrives.
2. Changed a lot over the past year? Yes.
3. Had friends who have never seen your natural hair color? No, I stick close to the original.
4. Had surgery? Yeah, last week. That's why you're reading this instead of something profound.
5. Killed anyone? Only with kindness my friend, only with kindness.
6. Had your haircut within the last week? I wish, it needs it.

LAST PERSON WHO:
1. Saw you cry? My mom earlier today.
2. Went to the movies with you? Lori.
3. You went to the mall with? Caroline.
4. You went to dinner with? B.
5. You talked to on the phone? My brother.
6. Said 'I Love You" and meant it? My brother as we ended our call.
7. Made you laugh? B. Every.single.day.

WOULD YOU RATHER?
1. Pierce your nose or tongue? Neither. The nose piercing stinks and I have a porcelain veneer on my front tooth, so the tongue is out.
2. Be serious or be funny? Funny. Seriously.
3. Drink whole or skim milk? Neither. Milk tastes like blood. GAG!
4. Die in a fire or drown? Smoke inhalation. I think it would be somewhat peaceful and then the cost of cremation is voided.
5. Spend time with your parents or enemies? I like my parents and talk to them daily.

ABOUT YOU!
1. What time is it? 6:11 pm
2. Name? DebraSue
3. Nickname(s)? Deb, Debbie, D, Sister, and Doo Doo
4. Where were you born? Charleston, WV
5. What is your birthdate? August 3
6. What do you want? My daughter, a donut, sleep, and some good coffee
7. Where do you want to live? Wherever B and my family are.
8. How many kids do you want? Just my girls. They're enough.

Conversation

2006-11-24T18:35:00.000-05:00

So I went around the block to my parents for a little family time and some Turkey Tetrazzini earlier today. My brother and his family stopped in to say howdy. I noticed that my nephew had a large scratch on his nose...

Me: "Hey Noah Bob, how'd you get that big scratch on your nose?"

Noah: "Sissy (my niece Lauryn) and I were playing and she accidentally scratched me."

Me: "Oh yeah?"

Noah: "Yeah, and my fist accidentally hit her in the mouth."

No lie.

On the Mend

2006-11-23T23:30:00.000-05:00

The surgery went well. I am now officially cleaned out, sewed up, and sterile. Pshew.
I am taking Advil around the clock, cat-napping, eating Turkey, and playing Civilization III - Conquests.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Time to heal.

Good Grief

2006-11-19T08:58:00.000-05:00

I know it's been a while, and I may have lost a few of my 10 or so readers, but things have been a little hectic here at home. Life's fast and we are just hanging on for the ride.

It all started a few weeks ago with a crazy sinus infection, jittery eyeballs, and the spins. I was in a meeting for work and as I bent over to get some paperwork out of my bag, I kept right on going over. It was pretty scary. Fortunately, I work in the medical field and a nurse was at the meeting. Logically, I called my doctor and got another appointment. He suggested bloodwork and a CAT scan to see what was going on. I did the bloodwork the next day, requested they send the results to my gyno because of my surgery, and scheduled my CAT scan for a week later. On Monday the nurse called and told me my bloodwork was fine. I specifically inquired about my TSH (thyroid) and glucose levels because I have a pretty strong family history (foreshadowing here) , and she told me, "No they're perfect."

So B and I go to get the CAT scan the next Saturday. Well, my doc didn't inform me that I was getting a CAT scan with contrast or that I couldn't eat or drink anything beforehand, so I was a little surprised when they whipped out the "You can die from this dye" contract. I had a major panic attack. Tears and a little hyperventilating because I was so pissed and upset that no one prepared me. I should've known, but I have never had a CAT scan of my brain before! I felt like an idiot, but finally consented and did the test.

I got the call on Monday that my brain is fine and that's that. No follow up, no nothing. Oh I did let the nurse know I was pissed, and she totally blamed it on the hospital. Whatever.

Here's the kicker - I go in Thursday for my pre-op appointment with my gyno. The NP started asking the typical questions, and when she asked about meds, I told her "BP meds only." She looked at my chart, and goes, "Well, when are you starting synthroid?" What?

Of course I had no idea what she's talking about. She then informed me that my thyroid levels are above normal according to my latest round of bloodwork on November 3. Remember the foreshadowing? To add insult to injury, the Pre-admission Testing nurse at the hospital asked the same freaking question when we got to the med review! ARGH!

If you know anything about hypothyroidism, and you've been around me for the last month or so, you would quickly put 2 and 2 together. I am beyond pissed. So pissed I can't even call my soon-to-be-former doctor because I can't trust myself to be rational.

Needless to say I am (yet again) firing another doctor and finding a new one. My friend Alicia has always been vehemently opposed to having a DO as a PCP, and after experiencing 2 really quacky ones, I finally concede to her belief. Sorry to those of you out there who are pursuing this degree, but I will no longer consider a DO as an option. This will be the third one we have fired - 2 for me and 1 for C.

So that's just a drop in the bucket of the excitement in the Ladybug house. Add that on top of traveling for work, finishing the semester both as a student and instructor, wrapping up cheerleading, and trying to get my house in order before surgery and you get one busy, busy DebraSue. So busy that lamenting the very real possibility that we may be traveling to China at the height of the 2008 Olympics doesn't even phase me - now that's some stress.

Flying by the Seats of Our Pants

2006-11-12T20:34:00.000-05:00

Just wanted y'all to know I am still alive, but just barely...

1. Whatever illness I had is dying the slow lingering death a'la Pee Wee Herman in Buffy the Vampire Slayer - the movie, not TV show;
2. News about my CAT-scan incident and panic attack;
3. Travel (only bits and pieces because it's all work related) and related ills;
4. C's cellulitis in her left eyebrow;
5. My dad's scary PSA results and possible prostate issues (keep your fingers crossed it's not cancer).

We're all just a damn mess here at the Ladybug house.

The good news is B is feeling great.

No Parties at this House

2006-10-27T21:39:00.000-04:00

Since it's so close to Halloween, I thought this pic was appropriate. Today we are 4 months LID. How are we celebrating, you wonder?

Well, B is at a business meeting, C is at her mom's house, and I am sitting in my bed surrounded by journal articles, Halls Honey Lemon with the medicine center, copious drugs and a book about curriculum adaptations for students with learning and behavior problems. Yep, I am sick and finishing a paper that's due tonight. Sore throat, nausea, cruddy chest and fever. God only knows what I am saying, cause I am feeling rough.

Back to the grind.

I Never Knew I Had a Twin

2006-10-15T16:21:00.000-04:00

I saw this over at Mrs. Figby's and thought I would give it a try. I think she'll get a kick out of my match with David Hasselhoff. Hail to the Hoff! Go check it out and tell me, who do you look like?

Fat and Fashionable

2006-10-09T09:07:00.000-04:00

So I was scanning some of my favorite blogs and came upon 2 different posts containing the words "leggings." Fortunately, over at buttercup it was a language issue. Leggings = tights. However, Karen addressed the real issue of the Great Legging Comback of 2006, which distresses me to no end. My problem really isn't that leggings are coming back. No, really, it isn't. Everything circles around again, and it's time for an 80's revival. No biggie.

My problem is with the women who choose to wear leggings. In my book, if you are over the age of 9, you should not own a pair of leggings. EVER. Nonetheless, many women decide that comfort overrules fashion. To take it a step further, overweight women choose comfort over fashion. Don't get me wrong, I am not criticizing the big girls - I am a big girl. A plus size woman. Voluptuous, Reubenesque, Zaftig, Fat, Curvy, and Healthy. I shop in the "Women's" section, I wear double digits, and buy the majority of my clothing at Lane Bryant. Do not flame me saying I hate fat people. I am fat and I am okay with it.

What I am not okay with is the fact that plus size women do not know how to dress to emphasize their shape or bodies. This makes me crazy. It drives me bonkers to see a curvy, beautiful woman in leggings, or even worse, a shapeless jumper and tights. No, no, no, no, no, no, no! Oh Mama Mia! Dressing like a little girl (child) does not make you look like a little woman (petite). Ironically enough if you check out Clinton's Fall Fashion Trends he advises about both of these horrible pieces of clothing. See? I am not the only one!

I know all about how hard it is to find clothes that fit. I also know how easy it is to fall into a rut of comfort and acceptance. The top 5 most common trends that I see in larger women's fashion are:

1. Wearing knit pants - leggings, sweatpants, and/or drawstring, tapered knits that cling to the butt and thighs. Often, cellulite on the butt and thighs is seen in a mesmirizing dimple pattern through the fabric.
2. Large, voluminous T-shirts/shirts that are tent-like and unflattering. These usually are worn with leggings or knit pants.
3. Jumpers worn with turtlenecks and tights. These hang in a tubular column from the shoulder, creating a silo effect.
4. Wearing too tight jeans and shirts. With this phenomenon, women get the rounded gut protruding over the low cut jeans. Also known as a Buddha belly. Further, the tight jeans create a "muffin top" on the back and sides. The muffin top is emphasized by the tight shirt, and you can see the strain of the shirt in the small of the back as it is stretched between the flesh pouring over the sides of the waist.
5. Droopy butt. A lovely effect that occurs on Apple shaped women who wear pants that fit in the waist but are too large in the hips and thighs. This is a lovely "full-diaper" effect.

This is a call to arms. If you are a voluptuous woman who commits these fashion crimes, Stop Now! Get help. Call a friend who will tell you the truth. Be fat and fashionable, starting now.

Lonely Reader

2006-10-07T08:25:00.000-04:00

Need a little help over here. Being active in the role of A-parent of a Chinese daughter, I have agreed to participate in several Secret Pal exchanges. Actually only 2, but anyway, this month's theme for one exchange is children's books. Not Chinese Adoption children's books, but all-over-the-charts children's books. You would think this would be easy, being as I have a 10 year old who was 2 when I became her stepmom. No, sorry. Being just like her father, C hates to read. I know, I know. I punctures my soul like a bullet, because I read every single day and feel like my arm's been cut off if I don't have a stack of to-be-read books sitting on my table. When C was small we didn't have story time, we had singing time. I would sing to her every night before she would go to bed. Songs that eventually became part of a lullaby CD that still works, 8 years later. I am hopeful and a little determined that Ruby will be a reader. If she's not, I don't know what will happen to the lonely reader in my house.

I have several books in my collection that I love, but aren't age appropriate for the exchange. They are books I remember loving when I was a child - Eloise, Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle (all of them), The Little House on the Prairie collection, the Ramona Qumiby chronicles, all Judy Blumes, and several in the Anne of Green Gables series.

As you can see I am in a quandary. These won't work, not for the little ones. So tell me, what works for you? What have you purchased to get ready and make your little one love the written word?

September Secret Pal x2 Whoo-hoo!

2006-09-29T16:20:00.000-04:00

I have the greatest Secret Pals ever! For the past two days, my front porch has been filled with the delights of presents. Every month, I look forward to sending and receiving Secret Pal gifts. People weren't lying when they said it makes the time go by more quickly.

We are in love with all of our booty, and greatly appreciate both wonderful Pals for thinking of Ruby and C. You two are the best!

If You're Happy and You Know it, Clap Your...

2006-09-28T23:17:00.000-04:00

I have to say my Mountain Girls weekend was one of the best I have ever had. I can't say much because what's said in the Mountain House stays in the Mountain House.
Top Ten Highlights include:
1. A formation of the "Tiara Girls" club. Memberships are being accepted, but the criteria for entry is fierce.
2. Shannon 1 is the CEO of the LSKs.
3. Shannon 2 and I share a deep love of reading and chatted at length about books - something I don't get to do very often.
4. If we get bad service, we don't tip.
5. Must get a pug NOW.
6. Interpretive dance is so worth watching, especially after several 16 ounce mojitos.

7. Mountain driving takes on a new meaning when you have 4 women in the car singing along to Madonna's Crazy for You.
8. Luke! You are our waiter...
9. Yes, grown ups get pimples, and even though we were together less than 72 hours, I am sure our cycles are synchronized. It was just that much bonding.
10. I have made girlfriends for life - same time next year? Count me in.
The Shannons
Susan and Me

Room of Snark
The Princesses of the Tiara Girls
Yes, I really do wear shoes like these!

Okay is it me?

2006-09-26T22:16:00.000-04:00

Or is Joey Lawrence trying to cash in on the Chris Daughtry sultry bald man look?
Ewwwww! He looks incredibly creepy. Dead eyes, man. Serial Killer Dead.

Leave The Light On

2006-09-22T15:57:00.000-04:00

As much as I travel for my job, you would think I wouldn't want to spend my weekend traveling. Well, most weekends you would be correct. Not so this time; I am getting ready to head down to over and down the mountains to visit my bloggy posse - Susan, Shannon 1, and Shannon 2. I am so excited I am ready to slap myself.
When I return pictures galore, bloggy news, and all about the fun, fun, fun we're gonna have!

Bunny Love

2006-09-19T22:20:00.000-04:00

If you haven't figured it out by now, I am a TV hussy. I love evening TV and watch as much of it as I can. I have ghetto TiVo (DVR) and spend lots of time watching silly things that only I enjoy. Nevertheless, I think everyone would enjoy the 30 Second Bunny Flicks by Angry Alien that are showcased on Starz. My favorites include "Brokeback Mountain" and "Pulp Fiction." Check them out.

Relieved

2006-09-19T06:52:00.000-04:00

See that image ladies and gents? That, my pals, means that I finally have a chair for my doctoral committee. If you are unfamiliar with the process, basically it means that I finally have a mentor that will help me navigate the dissertation process and finish the last leg of my program.
To me, asking someone to chair my committee was a little like proposing - stressful, anxiety-inducing, and immensly relieving when she said yes. All is well in the land of Deb.

Ho-Hum

2006-09-17T09:05:00.000-04:00

Disclaimer: I am incredibly predictable and oftentimes have very little to discuss. Therefore, I have adopted the need to cut and paste memes from other people's blogs. Furthermore, I am inherently lazy and will not forward things like these to anyone; thus guaranteeing that I will most likely never be tagged by another blogger in the future. So, here we go...

1. FIRST NAME? Debra
2. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? No, my parents truly believed that I was going to be a boy and had full intentions of naming me Dwight (thank God I was female) and had not chosen a girl's name. My mother says when she looked at me she said "Debbie her name is Debbie." They chose Debra because they felt Debbie was a better nickname.
3. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY? Yesterday.
4. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? Yes I do. I have very nice print and cursive handwriting, especially for a leftie.
5. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCHMEAT? Pastrami
6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? I think so. Sometimes I am a bad friend, so my expectations for my being my friend would be low.
7. DO YOU HAVE A JOURNAL? Just the blog and sometimes it's a chore; see disclaimer
8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Yes and they are disgusting harbors of infection and other gross things I am choosing not to discuss
9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? Get real. No. Gravity is good.
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? I am not really a cereal person. Occasionally I will eat Smart Start. I do like the Fruit Cheerios, they're pretty tasty once in a while.
11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? No. There are few times I wear shoes that have laces. I have to dress for work so I wear sandals, pumps, or dressier casual shoes most of the time. On the weekends in the winter I'll wear sneakers, but I don't untie them.
12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? Physically, no. To use the words of my coworker Tami, "I have the upper body strength of a kitten." Emotionally, yes.
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR? I like Strawberry, Strawberry from Baskin Robbins. I also like Ben & Jerry's Pistachio, Pistachio. What's up with the double titles? I really love popsicles.
14. SHOE Size? Depends on the shoe. I go from 8 1/2 to 10.
15. RED OR PINK? Definitely Red
16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? My legs. I also worry constantly.
17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? My friend Alicia. We are both very busy living our lives right now, but that doesn't mean I don't think about/worry about her.
18. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? Gray gauchos, bare toes.
19. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? The hum of the laptop fan.
20. WHERE IS THE ONE PLACE YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE RIGHT NOW? Although, I'm pretty comfortable right here, I wish we were in China.
21. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Royal Purple. It is dark and rich and represents lushness.
22. FAVORITE SMELL? Sesame oil, the back of B's neck, and Wrigley's spearmint gum.
23. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? B. I called him to come out to the car and carry in groceries.
24. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE YOU ARE ATTRACTED TO? Their teeth and clothing.
25. FAVORITE DRINK? Coffee
26. FAVORITE SPORT? Not a fan. If I were forced to watch any it would be men's swimming or women's gymnastics.
27. WHATS YOUR FAVORITE COLOR? Purple, green, and red
28. HAT SIZE? I don't know.
29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? Very infrequently. I have an astigmatism and very abnormal vision in both eyes. Contacts mess with my depth perception.
30. FAVORITE FOOD? A big fat cheeseburger. My mom's Cajun chicken pasta. BLTs, and creamed tomatoes with buttermilk pan bread.
31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? Happy endings.
32. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? White Hanes
33. SUMMER OR WINTER? Winter, I love to walk in the snow.
34. HUGS OR KISSES? Hugs. Kisses are reserved for the one who is worthy.
35. FAVORITE DESSERT? Cake
36. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING? None. It's hard to believe, but I am not reading anything. I am hitting the library today before C's football game. I just finished listening to "The Cover of Night" by Linda Howard. Don't waste your time.
37. WHAT'S ON THE MOUSE PAD? My finger.
38. WHAT DID YOU WATCH LAST NIGHT ON TV? "Chicago" and parts of ''The Big Lebowski."
39. WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE SOUNDS? Mail coming through my mail slot; B & C laughing and making up silly songs.
40. THE FURTHEST YOU'VE BEEN FROM HOME? Florida.
41. WHAT ARE YOUR SPECIAL TALENTS? I am a pretty good singer. I can also cook well.
42. AND WHERE WERE YOU BORN? Charleston, West Virginia.
43. WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? I actually swiped it from Krista and Connie.
44. WHAT DAY IS IT? Sunday

All About the Idols

2006-09-14T23:49:00.000-04:00

Thirteen Things about The American Idol Concert

1. Ace Young is so much hotter in person than he ever was on television. Oh man, he's beautiful. I needed a fan. I am a fan.

2. Don't ever assume that you'll be able to see things on the large screens most concerts provide. For some reason the most visible screen hosted pictures of flames, the moon and other nonsensical items. I would much rather have seen close ups of Ace's abs and lovely Crest smile.

3. There are people out there who love to sing, but can't. If you are one of them, do the person in front of you the courtesy of not screaming every lyric to every song. Sing softly so that people won't hear that you have absolutely no ability to hit one note in tune.

4. Katherine McPhee is just stunning. She looks like a young, thin Linda Rondstadt. She sings almost as well.

5. Taylor Hicks is awfully cute, but when standing next to Ace, he doesn't have a chance.

6. I was as giddy as C and my niece Lauryn when Elliot Yamin came on stage. He's a phenomenal performer. I heart Elliot.

7. Little girls can only handle so much excitement before they become emotional and cranky. We hit our excitement quota about 9:20. It was all downhill from there.

8. Kelly Pickler is just a shame on the face of womanhood. All I'm sayin.'

9. I loved the fact that there were people of all ages in the audience. We were surrounded by moms, dads, children, and grandparents. It was a family-style love fest.

10. Taking two pre-teens to a concert is a superior act of kindness and patience. I should be commended for both.

11. Seeing the looks of awe, excitement, and extreme pleasure on the faces of C and Lauryn was worth every dime spent.

12. Chris Daughtry is going to be a mega rock star. I have not heard that type of squealing and screaming since Duran Duran in 1983.

13. Did I mention that Ace Young is smoking hot? Oh, yeah...he is!

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Warming Up for Tomorrow's Concert

2006-09-13T21:25:00.000-04:00

C had a brief brush with fame this evening. While out dining with her mom and brother, she noticed this cute boy down the way. Well, being any red-blooded pre-teen she immediately was in his business. Autographs, pictures, and giggling excited phone calls ensued.

I guess she's ready for the concert tomorrow, huh?

Welcome Back

2006-09-09T11:14:00.000-04:00

New Season of Nip/Tuck. Hello Lovah.

The Dictator in my Head

2006-09-07T09:20:00.000-04:00

I am still being a state traveler, so blogging may be sporadic. Actually, that's just an excuse for being lazy and somewhat discouraged with the whole referral process. 9 Freaking Days. All I'm saying. Grrrrr.

I try to fill my time with work, school (which is going well, thanks), prepping a proposal to hopefully present at this conference, getting excited for my trip to meet Shannon 1, Shannon 2 and to see Susan again, reading other people's blogs, thinking about gifts for my Secret Pals, and making lists of the things I need to do before my surgery in November. But it's still there. A constant whisper in my ear

... 9 days, new restrictions, 9 days, years of waiting, 9 days, rejection, 9 days, what if? 9 days...

It's in my head when I travel, when I shop, when I am driving and listening to this (which is terrible) and this (which is great). It's my mantra. Over and over, the broken record of a little Chinese devil that unfortunately looks like this guy, who's not even Chinese!

I am taking suggestions for anything else that can fill my time and get this guy off my back. Any takers?

Revelations from the Road

2006-08-27T10:06:00.000-04:00

I just wanted to let everyone know I have been traveling out and about my great state. I can't really discuss work, but in general I have been forced to enjoy the pleasure of my own company.
During this time I have learned that...
~I have become comfortable eating in restaurants alone. In the past, I have had some anxiety about this because I felt like people are watching me/feeling sorry for me. Now I know bringing a book helps pass the time. Eating alone is no longer a big deal. Besides, these people will never see me again, so who really cares?
~I enjoy going to movies by myself. One evening last week I went to the dollar movies and had a blast! It was a weeknight, so there weren't too many people in the audience. I bought a drink, sat back, and enjoyed absorbing myself in the flick for 2 hours. No worries about bathroom breaks, conversation, or sharing popcorn.
~Chatting on the hotel phone is pretty fun. No one to interrupt your conversation with their commentary. Thanks to Shannon for making the evenings go by a little more quickly and a lot more fun.
~The Hampton Inn is a sure thing. They are always clean, have 24 hour fresh coffee in the lobby, and they have new beds; you get to sleep in a mound of comfort.
~I can go hours without making a sound. When I have to answer the phone or say something after this respite, my voice sounds like I have been napping. It's kind of breathy and scratchy. Weird.
~Wireless connection keeps you sane.
~I miss B terribly. We would have loads of fun if we were traveling together, but he's at home and I am out. After a day, I am ready to be back home with him. Being away has brought appreciation for my marriage and our relationship to the forefront of my attention. My love for him gets stronger every day I am away.

Kickin' It

2006-08-20T11:04:00.000-04:00

Yesterday was the Chemical Valley's Midget League Football Association's Annual Kick-off Classic. Yes, we live in a chemical valley. We could experience a Bopal, India incident at any time; yet we choose to live here with hundreds of thousands of other people. Wonder what that says about all of us?

Basically the Kick-off Classic is the beginning of the midget league football season, as well as C's first foray into the world of cheerleading. She did a great job practicing and participating despite the incredible heat. Unfortunately, she and I both got too hot and had to bail before the second game. Nevermind the fact that the games were running over an hour behind and it was 1000 degrees hot. Sunburned and sweaty, I made the call when she polished off her fifth bottle of water. She felt terrible leaving her only other teammate, Madison, but we were all sick from the sitting in the hot sun all day. As you can see in the pictures she's giving it her best.

13 Things You Were Dying to Know

2006-08-17T19:19:00.000-04:00

Thirteen Things about Debra Sue

1. Sue is no longer my middle name. I dropped it when B and I were married and assumed my maiden name as my middle name.

2. I am a reality TV show whore and I am not ashamed. I watch Treasure Hunters, Big Brother All-Stars, Rock Star: Supernova, Project Runway, and Hell's Kitchen. I can't wait for the new season of The Apprentice.

3. I refuse to live in a house in which someone has died - this is an extreme phobia of mine.

4. I am bitter and disappointed that having a child has been 7-8 years in the making.

5. I really don't like chocolate candy. I will eat chocolate cake and ice cream, but a piece of chocolate candy makes my throat feel full of phlem. Gross.

6. I have extreme flatulation issues. I have never consciously passed gas in front of B. It is the one thing in the world that can totally embarrass me, so please don't fart in my presence.

7. I love B's hands. They are my favorite part of his body. They are wonderful.

8. Audiobooks are the best. I love listening to them while I am driving. I travel an incredible amount and listening to a book on CD helps pass the boring driving hours.

9. When I was 5 I was diagnosed with ADHD. My pediatrician wanted to medicate me, but my parents refused. I did not make my first A until I was in the 10th grade. I have learned to cope. As an adult I have developed my career around working with people who have mental illness or mental retardation. I think my childhood issues have had a direct effect on every aspect of my life - for the best.

10. There is something in my brain that helps me memorize insane amounts of celebrity and pop culture trivia like a savant. What's worse is I will talk about celebrities and their lives as if they are close friends of mine.

11. I am crushing so hard on Julian MacMahon from Nip/Tuck. My God that man is beautiful.

12. I would really love to know who should play me in a movie of my life. I already know who would play B, C, my mom, my dad, my brother, and my SIL. I just can't get who will play me. If you say Camryn Manheim I will never, ever speak to you again.

13. I will not drink milk. To me, milk tastes metallic like blood. I will drink half & half in my coffee, but sometimes I can taste the metallic blood flavor. The colder it is, the more metallic it tastes.

Traveling

2006-08-13T16:30:00.000-04:00

So the "extensive travel" part of my job starts this evening. I'll be out on the road for the next 4 days.

My Secret Pal Rocks!

2006-08-11T18:32:00.000-04:00

How cool is my Secret Pal? I am especially smitten with the "My Daddy is a Rock Star" onsie. B is going to flip when he sees it! Apparently my Secret Pal has been paying attention.

It was so great to come home from a exhausting week of traveling and working to find this package on my porch. At first I thought it was some books I ordered from Amazon, but low and behold a box of goodies, a lovely poem and a birthday wish for me! Thanks Secret Pal, you're awesome!

I cannot even begin to tell you how hard it is not to look at that postmark. The box is in the garbage and there it shall remain!

Those Partridges Have Nothin' on Us!

2006-08-10T22:00:00.000-04:00

One of the traits B and I share is the family value of eating at the dinner table. Every night, whether C is home or not, we sit and share a meal. Well, tonight was no different even though the last 2 weeks have been hard. My work has been insane, B is gearing up for fall semester and a new crop of freshly minted M.D.s, fragile egos and all, and C has cheer practice 4 nights a week. So tonight we were all slap-happy tired. Toward the end of the meal, C decided she wanted the pepper from the pizza box and asked me to hand it to her. I handed it over, and said, "Here, take it." Well, from that point it was on, because another common trait B and I share is the ability to find a song in every situation. B immediately jumped up from the table and began singing REO Speedwagon's Take it on the Run. I promptly followed suit, and soon we were dancing around the kitchen like we were in junior high, singing at the top of our lungs. C was torn between cracking up and being totally mortified. REO Speedwagon segued right into Lights by Journey, then onto Renegade by Styx (at which point C was begging us to a) stop embarrassing her and b) pleading with us to stop before the sisters next door called the police). Nevertheless we persevered and had her singing right along for the grand finale of We are the Champions by Queen. Breathless, we all collapsed at the table and laughed our butts off. Now that's what I call a family dinner.

Late Birthday Highlights

2006-08-08T19:55:00.000-04:00

I've been a little busy lately. So busy in fact, I forgot to post about my birthday! Last Thursday, August 3, was my 35th birthday and I finally wrapped up the celebration on Sunday. Once I find my cord to download pics, I'll post some. Until then, here are some highlights...

~Got a surprise cake at work from my pal Arlene. I was so excited by said cake, I forgot about taking a picture until it was 2/3 way gone.
~Received 2 copies of the same CD from Lori and Caroline. It's refreshing to know they listen to me when I am obsessing.
~Got a super-duper handmade crafty card from my pal Shannon.
~Did not get my awesome bike. It's retired. Dammit! B worked diligently to find it to his great disappointment and mine.
~Got a new game to take with me on my upcoming trip to N.C. to see my e-pals Shannon 1, Shannon 2, and Susan. It is on, ladies.
~My momma made me my favorite breakfast, creamed tomatoes and biscuits, and my favorite cake, Sunshine Cake on Sunday.

I am so Hot the Back of My Head is Throbbing

2006-08-01T20:18:00.000-04:00

So today I walked into the house after dropping C off at cheerleading practice and almost had a heart attack when I felt the heat slap me in the face. Panic set in as I waded through the heat and humidity to look at my thermometer. 80 degrees - in the house. I immediately thought, "Oh shit, the air is out." I decided to try to push the button down to see if it would kick on. As I did, the set temperature flashed 86. What the hell? We never, ever, ever adjust the thermometer in the house. It stays on 72 all summer and 70 in the winter. I learned this from my best friend's mom when we were kids. Connie instilled the fear of her wrath if Kathy or I were to ever touch the gauge. Connie could sense it from 15 miles away if that needle moved even 1/16th of an inch.
As I am resetting the thermometer and the air kicks on at warp speed, both cats run to a respective vent and crash, dizzy from the heat. I call B at work who proceeds to tell me that C said she was cold this morning so she reset the temperature "a little bit." Yeah right. Now I am sitting here in a t-shirt and panties in my living room because it's so hot upstairs it's hard to breathe. She'd better be thankful I have BB7 on Ti-vo and she's spending the night with her mom (in the air-conditioned comfort of her bedroom, of course). Punk ass kid. A little bit, my sweaty ass.

My Summer of Reality (T.V.)

2006-07-31T20:54:00.000-04:00

I know, I know I have been MIA lately. Well, I've been busy dammit. So far this month I have...

Driven over 2000 miles - all within my state.
Just spent 2 hours in the sweltering heat watching 52 little girls do cartwheel after cartwheel. Cheerleading season has begun.
Ate at a restaurant where a woman was eating with her right hand and swatting flies with a lime green flyswat with her left hand. She never stopped eating. This is totally true!I.Swear.My.Hand.To.God.And.The.Baby.Jesus.
Finished all assignments for my summer class, but have not finished writing/developing the class I am creating for my portfolio.
Saw Clerks II and laughed so much I think I peed a little.
Have made a decision about school - if the person I have asked to chair my committee refuses, I am either a) dropping out or b) switching programs to a Master's in Teaching and calling it a day. Okay, she's really the only person I have asked sincerely, but it's so stressful. It's like being in 4th grade and telling [insert hottest boy name here] to "go with" you.
Written copious amounts of emails to Shannon.
Joined several Yahoo DTC groups and will probably be spending 50+ bucks a month on Secret Pal gifts. What was I thinking?
Broke up with my hairdresser and went to the salon under my office. Nice job. No pics yet.
Watched way too many episodes of BB7, Rock Star Supernova, Project Runway, What Not to Wear, and Hell's Kitchen.
Researched bicycles to find the perfect present for B to buy me for my birthday. I am really stuck on this one.

The Electra June

I Have Been Tagged

2006-07-21T19:59:00.000-04:00

I have been tagged by wzgirl for the first time in the year I have been blogging! So here goes...

7 THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE I DIE:
1. Sing the Blues in a smoky bar
2. Go to Ireland
3. Plan my daughter's wedding
4. Finish my doctorate
5. Retire to Alaska
6. See the Pyramids
7. Write a novel

7 THINGS I CAN NOT DO:
1. Swim
2. Run a mile
3. Kill a person or animal
4. Knit
5. Compromise my personal ethics
6. French braid
7. Read music

7 THINGS I CAN DO:
1. Sing well
2. Cook well
3. Roller skate
4. Answer questions about celebrities and pop culture like a freaking savant
5. Flirt
6. Public speak with ease
7. Grow roses

7 THINGS THAT ATTRACTED ME TO MY HUSBAND:
1. He's a great dad
2. He makes me laugh every day
3. He let's me be the center of attention
4. He calls me on my shit
5. He's my best friend
6. He's a really great kisser
7. He's the kindest person I know

7 THINGS I SAY MOST OFTEN:
1. I know...
2. Does that make sense?
3. I am so hot, cold, hungry, tired...[fill in whine here]
4. I love you too
5. What the hell?
6. Goddammit
7. What do you think?

7 BOOKS I LOVE:
1. To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
2. All Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle books - Francis McDonald w/ Hilary Knight illustrations
3. Catcher in the Rye - J. D. Salinger
4. Crows - Charles Dickens
5. Wicked - Gregory Maguire
6. Contemporary romance novels - the trashier the better!
7. Practical Magic - Alice Hoffman

7 MOVIES I LOVE:
1. A Room With a View
2. Grease 1 & 2
3. Sixteen Candles
4. Garden State
5. All Kevin Smith movies
6. Hustle and Flow
7. The Transporter

I so don't know how to tag anyone, and I am really kinda lazy, so if you're reading this then, TAG! You're It!

Random Questions

2006-07-20T18:49:00.000-04:00

~Why is it that at least 2 times a year I forget the nausea and subsequent vomit-in-my-mouth taste I get every single time I eat anything from Capta'n D's? I'll get this wild hair that I really need to eat some greasy, deep-fried fish and end up inhaling it like a Hoover. Within minutes it all comes rushing back.
~ Why have I had the weirdest songs in my head lately? Two days ago it was "Valerie" by Steve Winwood, whom I greatly dislike. Today's hit - "It's Only Natural" by Crowded House.
~When did I decide not to shave any higher than right above my knee? For some reason, the razor stops there and I've never really thought about it before now.
~Why do I have a mental block about important things like answers to test questions or remembering important facts about my job, but yesterday I answered fifteen questions about this 5 years after it happened and had such an effect world events?
~What is my fascination with James from Big Brother 7? He's scrawny, has a lisp, and wears sleeveless T-shirts (which no man should EVER WEAR). I had one of "those dreams" about him and since then he makes me a little breathy when he's on the TV.
I just don't get me sometimes.